April 30, 2007

I was on my way back to my office when my cell phone rang. I snapped it up, “Hello?” “Hi, this is Rachel from Dr. Hartloper’s office,”said Rachel from Dr. Hartloper’s office. “Are you on your way in?” Awwww shiiiii- I checked my watch. 10:10 a.m. “What time is my appointment?”I asked, wondering if I just might be able to make it (if I drove really fast). “Ten a.m.,”she informed me. (or used that time traveling puddle jumper). “I won’t be making it,”I sheepishly admitted, feeling very much like a toddler who had disappointed his mother.

It had completely slipped my mind. Really. Okay, I’ll readily admit that visiting the dentist isn’t high on my list of “fun ways to spend a morning” (falling somewhere in between playing Parcheesi and eating at a vegetarian restaurant), but my problem isn’t really with the whole dentist experience per se. Not really. My irrational fear stems from those damn stairs I’d have to climb every time I would visit my childhood dentist. Three flights of enormous steps with huge, yawning slatted openings just perfect for claiming misstepping acrophobic six year olds. The appointment itself was never that bad. Far from ideal, but not terrible. My parents would schedule my sister and I back to back so that we would sit together in the waiting room, cooling our heels until the receptionist would poke her head in and ask: “Who’s first?”, precipitating a quick draw response from the both of us: “HIM!”/”HER!” On one occasion, my sister was faster and I ended up heading in for the unenviable first slot, vowing revenge. The opportunity presented itself during the “fluoride treatment”, a procedure that involves biting down on twin trays lined with what can best be described as cloyingly sweet, headache-inducing goop. “You’re in luck,”my dentist assured me on this occasion. “We have a new flavor: Chocolate!” Not bad, I thought. That is until I bit down and, seconds later, ended up dry-heaving into the spit sink. As I struggled to keep my breakfast from rising to the occasion, I was struck with a wicked thought. I had a fairly strong stomach yet was unable to endure the slightest hint of this chocolate-laced toxin. So I wondered how my far more sensitive sister would fair? Well, there was only one way to find out. Once I stepped back out into the waiting room, my worried sister was quick to ask: “How was it?” “Not bad,”I replied. “But when it comes time for the fluoride treatment, try the chocolate. It’s really good.” She headed inside and I sat back down, leafing through a copy of OWL Magazine until, approximately five minutes later, I was rewarded with the sound of my little sister retching her guts out. In retrospect, however, it was not a happy ending for me. Assuming my sister’s “adverse reaction” to be a hyper-sensitivity to saccharine goop, our dentist discontinued the practice of having her endure our annual fluoride treatments. I, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. Karma’s a bitch.

In any case, my deep-seeded fear of visiting the dentist had nothing to do with today’s missed appointment and one apology and cancellation fee later, I had rescheduled for 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. Somebody, please remind me.

Spent the day re-reading my rewrite of This Mortal Coil to the point where I want nothing more to do with it. And that’s when I know it’s ready to go out to the rest of the writing department.

Writer/Producer favorite Nora O’Brien of the SciFi Channel dropped by this afternoon to give us to say hi and give us last Friday’s ratings. A very slight uptick for both shows (and from what I understand Atlantis was the #2 non-sports cable show of the evening) in a mystifying soft couple of weeks for t.v.-viewing in general. Although, in all fairness, we were up against the weekend opening of Kickin’ it Old Skool and the big Madison, Wisconsin Poetry Slam.

Finally, dropped by set today on my way home to prep for tonight’s SciFi celebrity cast dinner at - you guessed it! - Don Francesco’s, and presented David Hewlett with his birthday gift: a copy of The Ghost Brigades, the sequel to Old Man’s War (I stressed this was not to reward his rapping abilities which are suspect at best). He has just finished reading one of John Scalzi’s other books - The Android’s Dream - and LOVED it.

Today’s pics: Fab director Andy Mikita looking kingly in the thorny throne from the upcoming The Seer (thorny throne compliments of equally fab Set Decorator Mark Davidson), a first go at the Reunion map, James Robbins’s proposed probe from that other episode, the possibly new and improved rail gun, Nora O’Brien drops in on John Lenic, camera-shy (and/or flash sensitive potential vampire) Director of Photography Peter Woeste.

Some quick Q&A’s before dinner:

Hitman Jr. writes: “Is it normal behavior for a Pug to get upset by someone leaving? Every time I leave it starts going crazy and tries to block the exit.”

Answer: You’re lucky. Maximus used to take it out on Fondy’s new shoes.

Lizzyshoe writes: “ You said you're not allowed to read fanfiction for legal reasons, but what about published Stargate books (like the Fandemonium series)? Would there be similar legal dilemmas in reading these?”

Answer: No because those are the property of MGM Television.

Anonymous #1 writes: “But I was there, as where several other people who I told what was said immediately after it was said.”

Answer: So in other words you have several other people who can confirm that you told them what you claim to have heard. Okay.

Jason writes: “My question is what was the norwegian cheese Mitchell was referring to in his omlette recipe?”

Answer: Gjetost.

Lady Dulcinea writes: “I wonder how many other universes the "universal remote" actually works in?”

Answer: Only one and, sadly, it aint this one.

Just Jess writes: “ So how was the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?”

Answer: Loved it. It’s been some 20-25 years since I first read the series.

DM writes: “I'm making an Indie and say I wanted to hire Hewlett to act in it, or you as a script-advisor.”

Answer: You could try writing to the Bridge Studios but, in all honesty, we’ve been turning down work because we’ve been so busy with Atlantis.

Smiley Face06 writes: “ What are your favorite episdoes to write? Comedic, dark, stand-alone…”

Answer: The most satisfying are those that accomplish all three.

Roxanne writes: “So, are the writers in the process of writing scripts for the back half of season 4, or are you still pitching ideas around?”

Answer: Yup.

Nik of lala land writes: “Who came up with "If you immediately know the candlelight is fire then the meal was coked a long time ago"?”

Answer: Blame Robert Cooper.

Namiko writes: “Could you confirm a rumor I heard coming from you-know-who's mouth about some actor at such-and-such a place? Thanks loads.”

Answer: Yup, it’s true!

April 29, 2007

Dogs are possessed of an uncanny sixth sense that allows them sniff out looming danger, earthquakes, and trips to the vet. And you can add pug picnics to the list. The Pug Picnic is a local event that sees approximately 25-50 pugs hitting the beach on the last Sunday of every month. The whole thing lasts a couple of hours tops as these little guys are definitely not built for speed, or exercise for that matter, but it does offer them enough time to show off for a very receptive audience, wrestle down rivals, and generally just amble from lap to lap in search of attention and affection. It’s the high point of their month and, once they return home, they immediately crash and sleep off the rest of the day, allowing Fondy and I to grab some dim sum.

We went to Sun Sui Wah on Main Street, my vote for the best old-style push cart dim sum in the city (for the high-end version, check out Sea Harbour in Richmond). We were treated by our friends Steve and Jodi and did our best to sample pretty much everything that came our way including: chive dumplings, spareribs in black bean sauce, sweet and sour spareribs, chicken feet, tripe, chive dumplings, shrimp dumplings, pork in pastry, tofu, vegetarian dumplings, seafood dumplings, sticky rice, Fondy fave tofu fa (?), steam lotus buns, steamed egg yolk and coconut buns. As we prepared to head out, Steve and Jodi presented us with a gift they picked up on their last trip to San Francisco. It appears to be some sort of Japanese dessert. Although Steve and Jodi weren’t sure what the heck it was either, they were won over by the uplifting message on the packaging: “When our hearts are fully satisfied. Our taste buds are fully satisfied. We’ve found a taste we would like to know. Please try it.” Truer words were never spoken. Who could say no to that?

Let’s answer some questions before I get back to my taxes -

Bugguy writes: “Will we be seeing the lovely Laura Harris or the talented Leela Savasta in episodes of season 4.”

Answer: Not as of yet.

Melissa writes: “If you have been to London, England, what is your favorite "hole in the wall"-type pub or restaurant there?”

Answer: I have never been. I was thinking of going a few years ago and then watched that documentary, 28 Days Later. Are zombies still as prevalent there as they used to?

Giu writes: “Speaking of anime, everyone in my family think that I am wasting my time watching anime/Reading manga Why do you think they react that way and do you know how I can prove they're wrong?”

Answer: They think that way because, in their opinion, they assume you’re wasting your time watching “cartoons”. I’d suggest picking up a book on elementary Japanese and then tell them watching anime is helping you develop an ear for the language. That’s what I tell my wife.

Mel writes: “in Hide & Seek, Grodin explains to Weir that "the text we were studying says the shield imprints on the wearer. If we're right, it wouldn't work on anyone else."

Answer: That’s assuming the individual that first sports the shield never turns off its singular imprinting capacity. Clearly, McKay wasn’t the first person to ever don that particular personal shield as it was presumably used by the Ancients before him - which would suggest that imprinting does occur but isn’t indefinite given the wearer’s ability to control the device.

Anonymous #1 writes: “Joe have you ever read any Terry Pratchett books?”

Answer: Not yet. What would you recommend?

Anonymous #2 writes: “Where would one find Rob and Brad's blogs???”
Answer: Probably in an alternate universe.
Which alternate universe??”

Answer: #596, 595, 333, 023.

Anonymous #3 writes: “Oh, and the rumors? I could tell you first hand something I heard said about one of your actors by one of TPTB at an event (NOT a convention. Something else) in LA.”

Answer: With all due respect, I’m going to have to call bullshit on that.

Firefly827437 writes: “Who's the guy hiding behind the book?”

Answer: That’s director Will Warring. His face appeared on a recent episode of America’s Most Wanted so he’s keeping a low profile.

Anonymous #4 writes: “Hey Joe, who wrote the Bad Guys story?”

Answer: Ben Browder came up with the idea for the episode, but Martin Gero wrote the script.

Kali Weir a ecrit: “Quel épisode tournez-vous en ce moment ?"

Reponse: En ce moment, nous tournons Reunion et Ark of Truth.

Jenny Robin writes: “How was your weekend?”

Answer: Relaxing. I finished Slaughter-House Five and The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Tonight, I’ll be starting Walter H. Hunt’s The Dark Wing.

Siba writes: “I asked you some time ago where you get your plates.

Answer: Welcome back. Those particular plates we received as a gift. I checked the back of one of the platters and found the following: “Queens - Hookers Fruit”(?!).

Anonymous #5 writes: “So you have no problem with an equally capabale (or possibly more capable) actress being out of work so TPTB can keep their golden child in the franchise?”

Answer: I’ve already made it perfectly clear that the decision to bring Carter aboard was in no way connected to the decision regarding Weir. Nevertheless, feel free to cling to whatever wild, unsubstantiated theory makes you feel all warm, tingly and, oh yeah, superior.

Michelle writes: “As a home theater pro, how many remote controls do you have to deal with? “

Answer: I only deal with one universal remote.

April 28, 2007

Amusing food story #1: Fondy and her sister Grace were shopping at the Pacific Mall yesterday when they decided to get take-out at the food court. Grace ordered from Thai Express and, as she was heading out, noticed that the container they gave her was only half-full. She thought it odd since the last couple of times she’d done take-out from Thai Express, the container had been filled. So, she returned to the counter and explained the situation to the guy in charge. “Usually, when I’ve ordered in the past,”she informed him, “the container has been full,”. The guy stared back at her stonefaced and offered: “They gave you too much.”

Amusing food story #2: The gals in accounting ordered from a new Thai restaurant in the neighborhood, one that shall remain nameless because I have honestly forgotten the name. Halfway through their meal, one of them fished a peculiar item their tofu: a lightly fried grasshopper. How the hell a grasshopper ended up in their tofu is beyond me as it has been pouring rain the past few weeks and not exactly ideal grasshopper conditions. “Maybe they were cooking a grasshopper dish and one of the grasshoppers jumped out of the pot,”suggested someone in all seriousness. I told them I was pretty sure that grasshopper is NOT on the menu at this particular restaurant, but this individual was adamant. “Have you ever been to Thailand?”they challenged. No, I’ve never been, but Alex Levine has and he did confirm that he was once presented with a trolley full of various crispy-fried insects on his last trip there. But that’s beside the point. If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s fairly obvious: Never, under any circumstances, order tofu.

I forgot to mention that we our cast read-through for Reunion the other day. All of the usual suspects were there in addition to reclusive director Will Waring extra special guest star and Super nice guy (note the capital S there) Mark Dacascos. Very humble, very pleasant, and full of fun stories about his show Iron Chef America. I’ve never seen our stunt coordinator, Bam Bam, so thrilled to be working with someone.

With the hockey playoffs in full swing, Carl Binder is showing his support for the home team (well, his home team). Being the incredibly superstitious fellow he is (he has a good-luck ritual that involves him walking backwards from his car to his second floor office every morning, and back at the end of the work day), Carl has vowed not to eat his special good luck team cupcake until the Ducks have won the Stanley Cup. Let's hope for Carl's sake they make it quick.

By the way, congratulations to Brad Wright for winning the coveted Writer’s Guild of Canada Showrunner of the Year award. I have included a pic of the prize: a peculiar pencil spanning a globe. Okay, it may not be the nicest-looking trophy, but it is undoubtedly the heaviest as I suspect the damn thing is plated lead. Between this and that Cable Ace Award, it‘s a wonder he‘s still the same unassuming, down-to-earth guy who helicopters into work every day and just does his job.

Q&A…

Exangeline writes: “Do you read manga?”

Answer: I don’t. Between the books and the anime, I don’t have the time.

Anonymous #1 writes: “I've seen several posts by you bemoaning the Gate's poor promotion, yet it continues to happen. Why don't you do something about it?”

Answer: The network promos or out of my sphere of influence. I can complain - and have - but there’s not much else I can do.

Nikki writes: “ 1- How do you hire your extras? Do you tend to favour certain agencies, and what specifically do you ask for? 2- Do you know where I could send a fan letter to an actor who worked on SG-1?”

Answers: 1 - We have an Extras Casting Director who hires extras based on the specific episode needs. 2 - Sure, just send it to the Bridge Studios.

Faithchan writes: “Have you ever seen Slayers or Fushigi Yuugi?”

Answer: I watched the first seasons of both, and liked both although I did prefer Slayers for its humor.

Shawna writes: “I recently visited my aunt, who has a pug named Millie…”

Answer: Love that dog.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Where would one find Rob and Brad's blogs???”

Answer: Probably in an alternate universe.

Anonymous #3 writes: “As for getting rid of Torri ... theres an 'interesting' rumor about why you didn't keep both her and Amanda which was posted on GW just a day ago. All I can say is if there's any truth to that rumor, you've made a huge mistake.”

Answer: Since I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it.

Anonymous #4 writes: “You know, if you weren't offing people's favorite characters, folks wouldn't be so negative about S4 and unsympathetic to you.”

Answer: Nah, I think they’d still be pretty negative and unsympathetic.

Arctic Goddess writes: “Guess what! We are getting a pug and calling him Mallozzi! Little Joe for short! […] Of all of the imaginative television shows that have aired over the years, which show do you think was the most well written - besides Stargate and Atlantis, of course?”

Answer: First: Am I a dogfather? Second: The Sopranos.

Inner-Fangirl writes: “As far as Animé are concerned: how about Wolf's Rain and Ghibli movies ?”

Answer: I liked Wolf’s Rain, and do enjoy Ghibli movies (Spirited Away is still my fave but I’ve yet to get around to Totoro).

The First Lily writes: “I'm always the last person to notice plot holes (and I really don't care about them when someone points them out later), but I immediately noticed a HUGE plot hole with the personal shields. In Hide & Seek it was clear that once a person activated those shields, they didn't work on anyone else once (Rodney tried to put the shield on John's chest in that episode and didn't work) and one couldn't eat/drink while using the shield (Rodney thinking he was going to starve, not being able to even drink coffee, etc).”

Answer: The implication in Hide and Seek was that Rodney hadn’t a clue how to use the personal shield, anyone else even less. True, Rodney couldn’t even eat or drink with it on. However, in Irresistible, Lucius demonsrates his ability to turn the device on and off while he is sitting in the tavern, suggesting that he has enough control to eat and drink.

April 27, 2007

One of the many nice things about having dinner with my agent Robb is getting him to regale us with his wonderful Hollywood stories. Nothing seedy or salacious, just humorous accounts of his poker nights with the writers of The Simpsons or dinners with colorful clients. Sitting there the other night, listening to his reminiscences, I couldn’t help but reflect on my short-lived career in Tinseltown, back to when I first broke into the business as a hungry young actor. At the time, I shared a Santa Monica apartment with two up-and-coming mimes, an angry performance artist, and an embittered stage magician who had since fallen on hard times. Every second Saturday, I would tour as the sole male member of a feminist comedy troupe, Bra-ha-ha, while every Sunday, my roomates and I would head down to the Third Street Promenade where we would sell painted seashells and re-enact scenes from classic commercials like Clara Peller’s memorable turn as the “Where’s the Beef?” lady at Wendy‘s. It was during one of these performances (“I’m not gonna pay a lot for this muffler!“ I nailed it.) that I was discovered by an equally hungry but far-more-struggling talent agent who signed me on and, in a few short weeks, got me my big break as Brown Corduroy Pant Wearer #3 in a Sears Summer Catalogue. From there, things really picked up: Satisfied Customer for Garden Shack’s big West Hollywood flyer campaign, Brown Corduroy Pant Wearer #2 in the Sears Fall Catalogue, Blue Corduroy Pant Wearer #1 in the Sears Winter Catalogue, a bit part as a very impressed dinner guest in a Norelco Ice Fish commercial, and, finally, a minor speaking part in the underappreciated near cult classic Hercules vs. Godzilla. It all culminated in my landing the role of a lifetime on a new science fiction series. Although it was a small part, I was assured at the time that it had the potential to grow into something much, much bigger. I thought I was destined for greatness, the next Jan Michael Vincent. But alas, the fates conspired against me. Well, the fates and the series lead, let’s call him Bill, who seemed to resent my natural charisma and wonderful onscreen chemistry with my fellow co-stars. I came in to work one morning and discovered the letter of dismissal in my dressing room (which, incidentally, doubled as one of the show‘s Jeffries Tubes). No one was there to say goodbye. To add insult to injury, my parking spot was given to the guy who played the guy with the pointy ears. Eventually, I gave up acting and turned to more satisfying pursuits like bee-keeping, screenwriting, and playing xylophone in a White Snake cover band. My only keepsake from those heady times is the cast picture I have posted. Ah, those were the days.

Checking the mail…

Jodi writes: “By referencing Bridge and “elsewhere” shouting about high ratings I was referring to the fact that when ratings are up in the high 2.0+ range studios, and others, don’t hesitate to shout about it. This was an attempt to show examples of how the “unfair” argument cannot, IMO, hold water when it’s all the rage for studios, and fans, to use the ratings as a gold banner when they are high and then play the “ratings systems are unfair” card just because the ratings are low – it’s the same ratings system after all.”

Answer: I don’t believe anyone has ever called the ratings system unfair. What we have discussed are some of the elements that have worked against the show in the ratings. Of course it’s the same ratings system, but when the show was pulling in 2.0 + numbers, it hadn’t already aired around the world, wasn’t already available online, and television ratings had not taken a hit across the board (a recent Nielsen article points to the fact that the past three weeks have been among the lowest-watched t.v. weeks in recent memory).

Anonymous #1 writes: “What do you think the ratings will be for Friday's episodes?”

Answer: Better.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Joe, joe, joe. *sighs and shakes head* You do realise that you've just pissed off the Sam/Jack shippers now on top of the Terri fans?”

Answer: By providing an honest answer to a question asked? Sorry, but we have no plans to work Carter’s love-life into Atlantis. For SG-1 movie-related questions, however, feel free to post them on Brad and Robert’s blogs.

Exangeline writes: “What anime do you like? Oh, and – subbed or dubbed?”

Answer: Subbed, never EVER dubbed. Berserk is my fave followed by Cowboy Bebop, Now and Then Here and There, Noir, Trigun, Utena, Kino’s Journey, Last Exile, GTO, Samurai Champloo - to name but a few.

Amy writes: “Any chance either of the crews will be out "on location" Monday? […]
And what in the world was that LOUD boom this past Wed. about 10:30 am ish at the studio? About scared me to death!”

Answer: You mean the LOUD boom that rattled the windows and set off all the car alarms? It was Ark of Truth. As for being on location on Monday - which location?

Linz writes: “I was wondering if the Wraith from Common Ground is definitely coming back in season 4?”

Answer: Yup. And we’re going to ship him with Carter.

Anonymous #3 writes: “Do the Atlantis teams have a designated team idetification number like the SG teams have, say like AL1?”

Answer: Yup. They are First Atlantis Reconnaissance Team.

April 26, 2007

i have a friend who emails me on occasion whenever he does it drives me nuts because for some reason he refuses to make use of punctuation no semi-colons commas or apostrophes not even a period for some reason capitalization is also taboo i cant figure why is it really that troublesome maybe its a time-saving measure im not sure but for every ten seconds he saves im sure i spend ten times as long trying to decypher his bewildering frustrating seemingly endless run-on sentences

BTW, I also have another m8 :) who IMNSHO produces emails that prove equally annoying >:) cos they are peppered with kewl internet acronyms. Every time I get something from him, I’m LOL, ROTFL, even ROTFLMAO, or OTOH thinking OMG GAL ASAP! AAMOF, there are times his emails are so confusing :( that I think K WTF, I’d be better off just saying THX CU TTYL8R maybe 2nite or maybe 2M, and actually meet him F2F to get the story. FWIW that isn’t as EZ as it sounds since AFAIK he’s rarely AFK, never a BRB, GTG, or even a BBL from him as he’s always glued to his laptop (IOW never w/o it). :-/.

To be fair, I’m terrible when it comes to sending emails. No, I don’t use annoying shorthand like “Whatchew boyz think? R u sure ur in?” or equally annoying turns of phrase like the reprehensible “Ciao for now!”, but it does take me forever to respond. In some cases, quite literally forever. I’ll read the email, make a mental note to answer at a later date, and then conveniently never do. So I’m amazed that I’m still here blogging away on a daily basis. I suppose there will come a time when I run out of things to write about. So please let me know when it eventually becomes clear that I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel, blogging about things like paper clips, persimmons, and exasperating email etiquette.

Oh. Dear. Lord.

Well, since you’re already here, let me tell you about last night’s dinner. We went to Zakkushi where we had absolutely no problem getting a table thanks to the Ducks-Canucks game. We enjoyed the home made zaru tofu with green salt and spicy, aromatic green Japanese pepper paste, and a multitude of grilled items like pork-wrapped garlic stalks, beef tongue, and every chicken part imaginable and then some: heart, liver, gizzard, thigh although I had to draw the line at chicken skin. For dessert - we came home and continued our week-long chocolate binge. Tonight's dinner, in contrast, not so memorable.

For all those of you no doubt worrying, I’m pleased to report I survived my visit to the dentist with little more than the wickedest headache I’ve endured in years and the news that I had chipped a molar because I apparently grind my teeth and clench my jaw a lot.

What say we squeeeeeze in a few questions before calling it a night -

Anonymous #1 writes: “Are we allowed to ask just how McKay would have become a father (i.e. what circumstances and with whom)? I'm dying of curiosity!”

Answer: Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, a special thing happens…

Mags writes: “I enjoyed the poem. I was wondering if you ever write (non-work related) fiction in your downtime. Does writing as your job take away the pull towards creative writing as a hobby?”

Answer: I don’t have time to write non-work related fiction as I spend most of my downtime reading. I’ve wanted to sit down and work on a novel for quite some time but have lacked the downtime. Depending on how things pan out, I might get the chance next year.

AAA writes: “…sounded an interesting history arc to McKay be daddy. Hypothetical, Katie Brown had been the mammy?”

Answer: That’s what we were considering.

JohnManzione writes: “1. […] Any plans for more Hammond in the future?
2. Any plans to finally let us all know whether Jack and Sam are a couple? 3. Any chance the Furlings have been shown but not identified? 4. The Tollans; are they dead and gone?
5. Will the Asguard on the Deadalus (sp) survive or will he/she suddenly disappear as well? 6. Jonas. I think all of us would like to see Jonas again. Any chance?

Answers: 1. No plans for Hammond although I did run into Don’s lovely better half who told me he’s out there somewhere having a wonderful time meeting his fans. 2. No plans for this. 3. Nope. 4. I assume they were wiped out in the goa’uld attack but who knows - Brad and Rob could surprise. 5. That remains to be seen. 6. It’s unlikely on Atlantis.

Marla writes: “A friend and I are headed up your way in June - any good dining recommendations you can give us without breaking our bank?”

Answer: Check out The Memphis Barbecue House, The Sha Lin Noodle House, Bistrot Bistro, Shanghai Chinese Bistro, Ouzeri, Anton’s Pasta Bar, Zakkushi - to name a few.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Qu'est-ce qui vous a poussé à apprendre le francais ?”

Reponse: Je suis né a Montreal, alors j’ai appris mon français dans l’école primaire.

Namiko writes: “On a more serious note, how often are you called upon to balance these real world "challenges" with the overall creative process, and is that part of the fun, or a real headache that you just have to endure?”

Answer: You know that wicked headache I mentioned? My visit to the dentist wasn’t entirely to blame.

Grape Ape writes: “ Wow. I can't believe you didn't post my comment.”

Answer: You mean the one way I posted?

Anonymous #3 writes: “Teyla's story arc, will it be more in-depth than simply her pregnancy and its consequences?”

Answer: Yup.

Anonymous #4 writes: “Anonymous #7 writes: “Teyla's pregnant? […] It just proves that if you can't figure out how to develop a female character you off them like you're doing with Elizabeth or you get them pregnant... ” Wow - hey Joe - Anon #7 giving you a lot of credit there ... er, does Fondy know?”

Answer: Okay, I don’t do this on principle but I’m going to have to make an exception here - ROTFLMAO.

Sazzat writes: “Please can you tell us (or just give us a magic 8 ball clue) as to whether we will be seeing Michael in the first half of season 4.”

Answer: Sorry. No Michael in the front half.

George writes: “(1)How long does it take you to write a single Atlantis script, from start to finish? (2)Do you write them one at a time, or are you working on a bunch of them at one time?”

Answers: 1) About a month. 2) One at a time.

Anonymous #5 writes: “That leaves approximately 49 Hives and over 175 cruisers. My question sir, how the hell are our heroes going to flatten those numbers now that the asurans are in the equation?”

Answer: Check out season four to find out.

Maud writes: “You've stated that Dr. Keller's first name is Jennifer, but I've seen conflicting claims about her nationality. Is she American or Canadian?”

Answer: She’s American.

Jenny Robin writes: “It seems that Mallozzi's poem with notes
Has increased the level of some people's hopes
[..]
Will write and produce for us to enjoy
I appreciate your efforts, go get 'em, big boy!”

Answer: Okay. I’m impressed.

April 25, 2007

As promised, here is an annotated version of that Stargate poem I posted before production began. Let’s see how you’re all doing so far…

The dawn of each season brings ideas galore
Some which survive, others shown the door,
(For various reasons, things like production demands, actor availability, and a plain old change of heart may kill a given story or spin it out in a completely different direction)
Like that time travel story,
(Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow in which a temporal incident involving that time-hopping puddle jumper from Good to be King sends a version of SG-1 to the past, another to the future, and leaves a version in the present to deal with the inevitable ripples in time)
or the love romp not done,
(A freelance pitch which involved the various members of Sheppard’s team afflicted with an extreme case of Spring Fever)
Or the Dark Daniel arc trimmed from six tales to one.
(It was originally suggested that Daniel would disappear at the end of Quest II, be M.I.A. for two episodes, and then make a shocking reappearance for a big three-episode arc. In the end, it was decided that the latter would work better as a single episode).

We begin each new year with the best of intentions,
Seeking to craft our inspired inventions.
But conditions are altered, storylines change,
From the original notion so far may they range.

So as we look forward to two thousand and seven,
I can’t help but think it would truly be heaven,
To see the ideas pitched out, some produced,
Make it as finals, not crossed out or reduced.

Atlantis assailed by the stuff of nightmares,
(Refers to a season four episode and given the spoilers that are out there, it shouldn’t be that hard to figure this one out).
While the team will explore that dark sunken lair.
(Refers, of course, to the season three’s Submersion).

For one player worship, adoration and fame,
As he and his rival find it’s more than a game.
(Refers to, appropriately enough, season three’s The Game).

Receive a grand gift from an all-seeing shaman.
(Refers to a season four episode. Again, given the spoilers out there, this one shouldn’t be all that hard to figure out either).
Find the wraith and our allies have something in common.
(Refers to a season four episode and a revelation to come).

A tech-savvy group who progress via pillage.
(Refers to a season four episode. Again, there are spoilers out there that should point you in the right direction).
A wild west High Noon in an inapt Dutch village.
(Refers to none other than season three’s Irressistible a.k.a. Shootout at De Dutch Pannekoek Corral).

Too late the value of that friendship he’ll learn.
(Refers specifically to McKay in season three’s Sunday)
A strange disappearance feeds another’s dark turn.
(Refers to a season four episode. The title pretty much gives it away. Alas, this is one that may not play out as planned as the originally envisioned dark turn arc has been superseded by another necessary arc).

Find survivors concealed in an orbiting rock,
(Refers to season three’s The Ark).
While the thinker receives an enlightening shock.
(Refers to season three’s Tao of McKay).

Mutations discovered,
(Refers to season three’s Vengeance).
O’Neill is all wet.
(Refers to season three’s Return II).
With a change of location all will forget.
(Refers to a season four episode. Another case where the title should let you know).

Hyperion’s wrath threatens total destruction.
(Refers to season three’s Echoes, Hyperion being an allusion to Helios the sun god).
Our hand will be forced by ominous construction.
(Refers to season three’s First Strike).

Carter arrives; a reunion of sorts.
(Both references to a season four episode. Again, not that hard to figure out).
One of our own the enemy courts.
(Refers a season four episode - maybe a little harder to figure out).
Isolation imposed and a grand battle looms,
(Refers to an early season four episode).
While an alien contact this player dooms.
(Refers to another early season four episode).

Self-doubt for one,
(Refers to a season four episode).
parenthood for another,
(Refers to a season four episode. This one was the biggest longshot to come to fruition but we were considering making McKay a daddy. However, circumstances led us to change this particular storyline as we didn’t want to have two characters facing parenthood in the same season).
And that brilliant young mom may be needing her brother.
(Refers to a season four episode. Given the spoilers out there, this one should be pretty easy to guess as well).

From innocents lost he’ll produce strict adherence
(Refers to a season three episode that I won’t name because this storyline will continue in season four).
While the late fallen one makes a surprised reappearance
(Refers to a season four episode and the return of a much-beloved physician. This was a possibility we toyed with early and it finally became reality not too long ago).

Scheduling conflicts, production demands,
Changes necessitate all won’t go as planned.
But let’s hope these ideas do well find their way,
And all see the light of a t.v. one day.
(Overall, not bad. Over half the scripts are in play and none of these notions have been bounced - although a couple have been altered ever so slightly).

Mailbag -

Wilson writes: “If season five doesn't come to pass, will you guys be able to wrap up all the Atlantis storylines?”

Answer: We’re staying positive and operating under the assumption that we will be back for a fifth season.

Vikitty writes: “Do you guys base any characters on people you know?”

Answer: There’s a little bit of the writers in all of the characters.

Desiree writes: “ Have you ever tried chocolate liquer?”

Answer: I have a fair selection of chocolate liqueur that I use to top my ice cream.

Anonymous #1 writes: “Do you think scifi will look in to how the shows fared wherever they were first run before freaking out about the state side ratings?”

Answer: No idea.

Just Jess writes: “Can you recommend a good scifi book to start?”

Answer: John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War.

Luis Jr. writes: “Have you ever playe any sports?”

Answer: In College, Paul and I used to play pick-up football every Friday afternoon and a little one-on-one basketball on weekends.

Little Raven-Hawk writes: “What helps you get into a "writing" zone?”

Answer: A looming deadline does the trick. Getting up early and forcing yourself to write also helps a lot.

Little Raven-Hawk writes: “How technical do you get with the science and stuff like that in the first draft?”

Answer: Your first draft should be as thorough as possible.

Linzi writes: “I read yesterday, that a poster on GW found a site that reported SGA season 4 will premiere on Sunday 15th July.”

Answer: Sorry. That’s B.S.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Now you make it sound like her contribution was just to walk on set and read a few lines, and that the entirety of her character was all in the writing.”

Answer: Not at all. As someone who has been involved in various productions, I am well aware of the many contributions made by numerous individuals - actors, writers, directors, editors, and producers - in the creation of a great character. My point is it’s incredibly ignorant to presume that one individual alone is responsible for the success of a given character.

Anonymous #3 writes: “Joe M said "I never claimed the ratings system was unfair, wrong, inaccurate, yada, or even yada." I know you didn't and I didn't say you did.

Answer: Then what were you suggesting when you wrote “if the ratings were still in the 2.2 - 2.4 range like they were for season 8 (32 short episodes ago BTW) would the ratings sytem still be unfair, wrong, inaccurate, yada, yada?”?

Anonymous #4 writes: “ Just hoping that you will find your way clear to answering a question posed previously - will Carter be (1) playing an active role (action, out with the team sometimes, sam-whumping, commanding her ship, etc.), (2) be more like Hammomd where it is basically talking and directing the teams what to do or (3) just a figure-head that you can say is there and in charge but with no real role or action to play?”

Answer: Carter will be playing a support (not unlike Landry) but her background will allow her greater involvement and, yes, could even see her heading off-world.

Carolina writes: “Hi Joe, I will be flying to Canada tomorrow for a quick meeting, just one night! it will be my first time in your country, is there anything I should know and be prepared for?”

Answer: Beware the carnivorous seals!

Kate writes: “Do any of the actors or writers on atlantis have any suprising additional skills?”

Answer: Martin Gero can kill a man with his bare hands in less than the time it takes to down a can of coca cola. Does that count?

Anonymous #5 writes: “1. What does your heart tell you about a season 5 for SGA?
2. Are we going to see all three earth ships together in an eppy in season 4?
3. What is your position regarding sci-fi's awkward decisions regarding the timetable changes?”

Answer: 1. My heart tells me we’ll be back. 2. 2 out of 3 aint bad. 3. I wasn’t a fan of the delay but, at this point, what’s done is done.

Anonymous #6 writes: “Is the Ori storyline going to become an issue in Atlantis at all?”

Answer: No plans to introduce the Ori to Atlantis.

Anonymous #7 writes: “Teyla's pregnant? […] It just proves that if you can't figure out how to develop a female character you off them like you're doing with Elizabeth or you get them pregnant... where have I seen that again? *insert rolling of eyes here*”

Answer: As far as I know, there are three ways in which shows have dealt with pregnancies: 1) They’ve reduced the actress’s onscreen time drastically and ignored the fact by shooting around her, 2) They’ve written the actress out of the show entirely, 3) They’ve supported the actress by writing the pregnancy into the show. If there is a fourth option you have in mind, I’d love to hear it. Maybe a "Teyla has an eating problem" arc?

April 24, 2007

Last night’s dinner at Don Francesco Ristorante was a nice change of pace, a return to an old favorite I haven’t visited in a while. Finally, after several weeks of waiting, I got my pasta fix and am good for another month. Or day anyway as my agent, Robb, is in town and suggested we hit that “great Italian restaurant across the street from the hotel”. Yup, back to Don Francesco Ristorante for another serving of the squash-stuffed agnolotti with black truffle butter. That should tide me over to Spring of 2008 - or at least until next week's SciFi dinner.

At times, incorporating notes is not unlike playing Jenga - the removal of one seemingly inconsequential bit of dialogue is enough to trigger an avalanche of problems. Change a line here, add another there, and suddenly that carefully crafted scene is a shambles and you‘re starting over from scratch. Next to visiting the dentist, there’s nothing I hate more than doing a script rewrite. Oh, and to truly make my week, Fondy informed me that I have a dentist appointment on Thursday.

The pics: Don Francesco dinner Take #2, director extraordinaire Robert C. Cooper in action, and doing that Satanesque eye glow thing he usually reserves for the writer’s room, SG-1’s lovely VFX Producer Michelle Comens, Camera Operator Andy Wilson camera operating, the Prior presides - and unwinds, the dungeon, the producers at work - on the Golden Tee Arcade, Alex Levine thrilled to be sporting his Ark of Truth cap, a thoughtful Evil brings me flowers - for approval in Reunion.

Over to you…

Smiley Face06 writes: “On a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how comfortable is the captain's chair of the Daedalus?”

Answer: It’s about a 4. Could use a little more cushioning.

Crazymom writes: “Well, I've succeeded in converting 3 more to Atlantis.”

Answer: 3 down, 997 to go!

Shawna writes: “You do know you all are like the coolest show producers/makers/what-have-you EVER, right?”

Answer: We’re alright cool I guess.

Royal Nonesuch writes: “Do the ratings folks take into account Tivo/DVR hits and DVD sales?”

Answer: Yes to the former; no to the latter.

Just Jess writes: “So tell me how much leftover chocolate did you have??”

Answer: Lots and lots of bars, although guests helped out with the filled chocolates by putting together some take-home loot bags. Today, I brought in some of the leftovers. The Theo’s Chai Milk Chocolate was a hit; their coconut curry not so much.

Anonymous #1 writes: “Will there be any Wow I didnt see this coming moment events? that make peoples jaws drop?”

Answer: There’ll definitely be a few of those in season four.

Arctic Goddess writes: “Is there any sort of pattern to episodes with good vs. bad ratings?”

Answer: Not really. Some subscribe to the fact that people are not tuning in as a reaction to the previous week’s episode while others subscribe to the fact that viewers are actually not tuning in a specific episode. For what its worth, the individual episode tracking showed that viewership for both shows built over the course of its airing which is always a good sign.

Ses110 writes: “The ratings are down 30%.Is it time to admit the Stargate francise has major problems and is in need of big changes?”

Answer: Like a telepathic alien dog? I hear ya!

PrimatesForever writes: “One of thing ive noticed about the Scifi promos for each show is they make them look like B-flicks...do you think that contributes to the drop in ratings?”

Answer: Best not to comment. Better yet, I’m just going to say “no comment”. No, even better, I will ignore the question. P.S. Remind me to delete your question before posting this entry.

Spamco writes: “What other lovely anime do you suggest I should watch as well?”

Answer: Depends where your interests lie. I’m presently watching the second season of Ghost in the Shell and enjoying it a lot.

Tory writes: “I'm a little curious if you know anything about the reasoning behind airing the back half of season three in Canada a full ... what, three, four months before it airs in the U.S.?”

Answer: SciFi pushed back the original episode airings of both Stargates to April of 2007 while broadcasters like Sky simply stuck to their established schedule.

Anonymous #2 writes: “This is strange because Echoes is really one of the fans favorite episode for season 3 !!”

Answer: It IS strange because we all thought Carl did a wonderful job on the script. Still, the ratings did drop and we had to blame someone so who better than Carl who was forced to return the money he was paid for Echoes. Hopefully his next episode, The Game, will do better (I hope so as he has already spent the cash on such vanity purchases as food and clothing).

Konman72 writes: “Bender from Futurama: "They're doing the minor technical awards. I think they're up to writing."

Answer: Which reminds me. I need to have a Futurama night.

Vikitty writes: “And, I'm curious, are you Canucks fan?”

Answer: I don’t not support them. I know this is sacrilege my being Canadian and all, but I’m not that big a hockey fan.

Lily writes: “What can we do to help you and the show out?”

Answer: If you can just manage to convince a half million more viewers to tune into the show next week…

Anonymous #3 writes: “I note in one of your shows Mitchell makes reference to the Da Vinci Code. Have you read it?”

Answer: That was Rob Cooper’s gag. And, yes, he has.

CassieTheGater writes: “It's not looking good for season 5 is it?”

Answer: To be honest, it’s still too early to tell.

Crazymom writes: “I've been meaning to ask: how are actors who play recurring roles contracted?”

Answer: They are contracted on an episode-by-episode basis.

SMB Books writes: “What is the hardest type of scene for you to write for SGA? And, why is it the hardest?”

Answer: Writing exposition is a real pain the ass because the information has to be relayed in as economical and entertaining a way as possible. But it’s exposition!

Cheeky Lil Devil writes: “Could you possibly tell the whumping crew and lil ol' me if it will be Our Shep that get's the [strike]crap kicked out of him [/strike] sorry, whumped, or will it be Evil Shep?”

Answer: Two for the price of one. Both.

Anonymous #4 writes: “If the ratings were still in the 2.2 - 2.4 range like they were for season 8 (32 short episodes ago BTW) would the ratings sytem still be unfair, wrong, inaccurate, yada, yada?”

Answer: I never claimed the ratings system was unfair, wrong, inaccurate, yada, or even yada. Given the fact that the episodes have aired elsewhere and been available online for months now, I would have been stunned had we been pulling in those stellar numbers.

Andrew writes: “Are we likely to see any new types earth warships in season 4 since earth has gotten access to all of the asgard's technology?”

Answer: New Earth ships are a long way off. Souped-up versions of our established Earth ships are another matter.

J Williams writes: “Anywho are we going to learn the wraiths weakness in season 4?”

Answer: Yup. And they’re not the only ones.

Anonymous #5 writes: "I am a bit puzzled by your response to Alyssa's heartfelt tribute to Torri's acting."

Answer: Really? Did you happen to stop reading after a certain point?