December 31, 2007

This same time last year, on a bit of a lark
I thought I would take some time off from the snark,
And compose a brief poem filled with puzzling clues,
For fans of the show to deduce should they choose.

As such I suppose I’ve raised expectations,
That this year include some like revelations,
Ensconced in an opus of rhythm and rhyme,
Awaiting discovery from those who have time.

While I hadn’t intended to write one this season,
I suppose it should certainly stand within reason,
That in order to get you to give it a rest,
I author another and grant your request.

So here is this year’s abstruse composition,
Designed for you fans who possess the volition,
To examine and study its cryptic contents,
In a bid to unearth hints to future events.

The brilliant one slowly loses his mind,
While a group of replacements puts the team in a bind.

Wallace’s research a menace let loose.
The key to success is compress not diffuse.

A relationship blossoms, an engagement is planned.
An old enemy sweeps down and gains the upper hand.

In an underground chamber the trio is stuck,
While Sheppard battles some really bad luck.

A corpse is discovered and John plays detective.
The city assailed by mutations infective.

Call the doctor from Earth to help us take action,
As the death of a loved one spurs McKay into action.

Get talked into escorting a precocious young brat.
The experiment’s minions the team will combat.

A battle is waged on the defender’s home field,
And the means of production is fully revealed.

Two warriors head off an incursion on Earth.
A mission is snagged by an untimely birth.

The status quo shifts, a power play made.
The arrival of this one leave some feeling dismayed.

An old friend returns, loyalties are reversed,
And a ghost from the past has us fearing the worst.

Atlantis the target of a mysterious race,
While myriad permutations are viewed from space.

So just like last year here are intriguing notions,
Sure to, no doubt, stir up strong fan emotions.
But do keep in mind while you revel or groan,
That it’s still very early. Nothing’s written in stone.

December 30, 2007

Over the course of a given season, I may do anywhere from 30 to 50 interviews. Given the choice, I always prefer a face to face with the interviewer as it allows for an amiable, relaxed, and fairly straight-forward conversation. Steve Eramo is a guy who has interviewed me countless times and it’s always a pleasure to talk to him because he knows the show, he does his homework, and he always comes prepared. While we talk, he’ll have his digital recorder on, recording the conversation for later reference. His Stargate articles make for interesting, informative and, above all else, comprehensible reading. If I’m unable to meet with an interviewer, I prefer to go the email route. They can send me the questions, give me about a week, and I’ll send them back my answers. This is the process I tend to prefer when doing interviews for fan sites as it’s quick and simple, and I can ensure my answers are hopefully enlightening, occasionally humorous and, most important of all, intelligible. Although I’m usually not a fan of live interviews, I have done more than a few over the years and, as time has gone on, I’ve grown more comfortable with them. The radio interview I did for HiSciFi last year is a great example. It was fun, relaxed, and - here’s the key - coherent. Which brings us to my least favored means of conducting an interview: the dreaded phoner. The problem with phoners is that they put you at the mercy of the potentially crappy call quality and the potentially crappy recording of that potentially crappy call quality. Words are dropped and misinterpreted, leading to confusion and, every so often, quotes that are the exact opposite of their original intent. This, in turn, leads to all sorts of problems - like the that time I was credited with a controversial quote that actually belonged to my writing partner Paul, or the recent interview I did for SliceOfSciFi, a transcribed phoner in which I sound alternately imbecilic, inebriated, and outright insane. I’m sure the gang at SoSF did their best trying to make sense of what was said, but I contacted them after the initial interview was posted and asked them to double-check a couple of the more egregious errors (Like the quote that made it sound like Weir was coming back full-time. A nice sentiment but not what I had said). Still, even the revised version is problematic in some respects (Like that truly terrible pic of me. But I suppose I should consider myself fortunate. Do a search of Martin Gero and you’ll see the pic used for him was actually a cropped gag photo he took a last Christmas of him and his girlfriend in matching holiday sweaters sitting on Santa’s lap) so I’d like to clarify a few points for those who have read the interview and assume I’ve somehow lost it. Without even touching the meandering run-on-sentences and sentence fragments that don’t make a whole lots of sense…

“When he pushed out the idea…”

- Should read “when he pitched out the idea…”

“All that has obviously soured certain fans towards Joe and when certain fans are unhappy they will be very vocal.”

- That’s “the show” and not “Joe”. I’m assuming fans don’t hold Joe F. responsible for the cast changes. On the other hand, the Joe in question could be me which would make sense given that I can be held responsible for the cast changes, but I usually don’t refer to myself in the third person.

“when you factor in DVR and such and the lead off viewers across the board…”

- That’s “bleed-off” and not “lead off”.

“…it worked great for us in the beginning especially in the ranks of the Wraith…”

- No idea. Sorry.

“…vengeance I declare! A reign of fiery destruction on the heads of all those who would doubt or oppose my creative vision! The unbelievers shall be punished and made to regret their ways!”

- Silly. That should read “rain” and not “reign”.


Hey, I took my mom out for spam the other night. Well, not exactly spam but pretty damn close. We went out for hotpot at HKYK in Richmond and, while perusing the menu of dunkable items, I came across “luncheon meat”. How interesting, I thought. I wondered what satay-simmered luncheon meat would taste like? As it turned out, exactly like luncheon meat. We also ordered watercress, sliced pumpkin, lotus root, chives, hand-cut fatty beef, pork neck, pork dumplings, and chive dumplings. Surprisingly, the near-spam was the only thing that appealed to mom. Well, the near-spam and the yang chow fried rice I ordered for her when it looked like she wasn’t going to eat much of anything.

Finally, I’m pleased to announce that with today’s win by the Cleveland Browns win (coupled with a Tampa Bay loss - sorry, Paul), I am the official winner of our office dark horse pool. I will probably blow the $100 on books, dvd’s, or a pricey appetizer.

Today’s pics: Mom pretends she’s enjoying herself, mmmm luncheon meat.

Let’s catch up on the mailbag -

Annie from Freemantle writes: “Do you CG erase any urban construction that’s not meant to be in the shot ?”

Answer: Yes, if need be we will have our visual effects department effect any necessary cosmetic changes.

Morgia a ecrit: “Est-ce que tu lis un peu en français ?”

Answer: Oui, j’ai lu Asterix et La Serpe D’Or le mois derniere.

Sort of translation: Yes, I read in French. Just the other wake, I read Asterix and the Golden Sickle.

DeeinSouthAfrica writes: “ doesn’t your mom have a cellphone? Surely she could have ducked into the bathroom and called you?”

Answer: She does but either never carries it with her or doesn’t bother to answer it.

Padawan Aneiki writes: “When you’re shooting an episode, how do you decide to block each scene?”

Answer: That is the director’s job. He envisions how the scene will play out and then, on the day, takes the actors and crew through the blocking scheme he has in mind.

Josh Hancock writes: “1) do you think there might be a possibility that series 5 of SGA might have to have some extra episodes to help fill in the slots where programmes will be missing due to the writer’s strike? 2) Will there be more Lanteans in the new series?”

Answers: 1) No. We will be producing the usual 20 episodes this season. 2) No idea.

Morgia a ecrit: “Ce que je me demande c’est si une personne de votre équipe (ou extérieur) est capable de vous critiquer (toi et les autres scénaristes) lorsque vous écrivez vos épisodes.”

Reponse: Quand un scenario est ecrit, il est critiqué par les autres scenaristes, puis récrit avant que le studio, SciFi, le directeur, et les acteurs offrent leurs avis.

Sort of translation: After a script is written, it is critiqued by the other writers before being re-written - at which point the studio, SciFi, the director, and the actors weigh in with their comments.

Arctic Goddess writes: “Now that you are using a new blog location, what happens regarding the millionth poster? Is that now finished?”

Answer: Nope. I’ll simply take the combined stats of both blogs into account. 812 152 and counting…

Shiningwit writes: “With The Ark of Truth having been prematurely leaked do you know who it was that leaked it and what course of action has been taken?”

Answer: That is currently being investigated.

Promogirl writes: “So are there any of the new mid-season shows you’re looking forward to? Maybe like The Sarah Connor Chronicles?”

Answer: None I’m actually looking forward to, but a few I’ll definitely be checking out.

Sulien writes: “Heya Joe, just dropping in to ask if you got my email with the link to the South Pole Winterover blog.”

Answer: Sorry about that. I did check it out and was meaning to comment, but got distracted. Awesome air drop pics.

M4ndy writes: I think Tyrion is the best character in the Song of Ice and Fire series.”

Answer: Yep, he’s my favorite.

Chelledb writes: “We would like to know if it is at all possible that either Major’s Lorne, Marks and Davis could be promoted in the near future.”

Answer: It’s possible. Stay tuned.

Poundpuppy29 writes: “I have a question about Continuum do Daniel & Vala have any emotional moments with each other?”

Answer: If you mean emotional in the way I think you mean, then no

Poundpuppy29 also writes: “ Are you doing any commentaries for season 4?”

Answer: If I have time, I certainly will. But then again, I think I’ve pretty much covered everything in my post-episode write-ups

Sherry writes: “So far, I’m at the point where I’m getting a little annoyed at Jezal (such a self-absorbed ass…T_T) and am liking Gloktaa lot depsite him being not so very nice… All in all, I’m liking the characterization and the story is definitely an enjoyable read.”

Answer: They’re flawed characters alight. Glokta is my favorite.

Fsmn36 writes: “I was wondering, have you read any part of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series?”

Answer: Not yet.

bex chaplin writes: “anyway i was wondering in you knew of anwhere to get english chocolate thats not gonna cost a bomb. the galaxy chocolate cos me $6!!!! back home its £1.20 or $2.40 can you help a fellow chocaholic????”

Answer: English chocolates? Hmmm. Well, there is a place on the corner of West4th and Arbutus, the Candy Aisle I believe, that sells all sorts of imported candy including Lion bars and the like.

Gate Strider writes: “I loved, loved, loved “The Lies of Locke Lamorra” and would re-read it in a heartbeat…”

Answer: I agree. It was a lot of fun. And, apparently, Scott is a fan of the show (provided he’s still watching and not writing 24/7 now). Check out the second book in the series: Red Seas Under Red Skies.

December 29, 2007

Sometimes I’ll pick up a book on the basis of some good reviews. Other times, I’ll pick up a book on the recommendation of a friend or fan. Still other times, I’ll pick up a book because the write-up on the jacket has piqued my interest. And, finally, there are those rare instances when I’ll pick up a book simply because its cover catches my eye. Such was the case with The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie, the first book in his First Law trilogy. Damn, what a gorgeous book! It looked great sitting up on my bookshelf for those first few months and, to be honest, I was somewhat loathe to sully its pristine beauty by daring to crack its spine. But after reading a flurry of hard scifi novels, I desperately needed a change of pace. Unfortunately, at the time, my library was almost exclusively science fiction, so it was either The Blade Itself or my old Dungeons & Dragons Dungeon Master Guide. I chose the former.

Well, to my surprise, The Blade Itself was even better than its cover (and, did I mention what a splendid cover it is). In fact, it turned out to be one of my favorite reads of the year. The second book in the trilogy, Before They Are Hanged (with its far more striking silver cover) proved even more enjoyable. So when I was given the opportunity to score an advance copy of the third and final book in the trilogy, Last Argument of Kings, I jumped at the chance.

I tend to approach fantasy literature with a certain amount of trepidation, borne of far too many Lord of the Rings derivatives with their noble heroes, curmudgeony dwarves, beautiful elves, and wizened warriors. Throw in a dragon here, a quest there, and you have the high fantasy cliché template that has served many an uninspired author - and all-but ruined the genre for me. However there are, of course, exceptions to the rule, diamonds in the rough that that take those antiquated fantasy tropes and set them on their ear. George R. R. Martin’s brilliant Song of Ice and Fire series comes to mind. So does Scott Lynch’s tales of Locke Lamorra. And now, I’d like to add Joe Abercrombie’s First Law Trilogy to that growing list. Although Martin and Lynch and Abercrombie are very different story-tellers, they share a few things in common: their refusal to follow convention, their wickedly dark senses of humor, and the richly-drawn characters that people the worlds they‘ve created.

Jezal Dan Luther - a foppish, opportunistic rake. Inquisitor Glokta - a crippled and embittered torturer. Logen Ninefingers - an infamously brutal barbarian. These, ladies and gentlemen, are your heroes. Well, if not exactly heroes, then the characters you’ll root for over the course the series. Readers who have appreciated the likes of Lynch’s roguish Locke Lamorra and Martin’s amoral Jaime Lancaster and wily Tyrion are sure to connect with Abercrombie’s characters who, while certainly unsavory in some respects, are at heart human, vulnerable and, yes, despite surface impressions, very likable. Besides the three aforementioned players, the series is full of colorful characters, from thieves and mercenaries to stalwart soldiers and enigmatic wizards, including two positively kick-ass female protagonists (the lovely, sharp-witted Ardee West and the ruthlessly vengeful Ferro). You grow to love ’em over the course of Abercrombie‘s vast and accomplished narrative as they face tragedies, triumphs, and more than a few surprises along the way. And the biggest of those surprises are saved for the third book, Last Argument of Kings, in which traitors are revealed, unlikely alliances struck, and a secret plot comes to shocking fruition, all amidst the backdrop of one of the most epic battles ever chronicled.

A superior book in a superior series.

Also, the cover is even better than the last one.


FYI - Although this will remain my main blog home, I will attempt to keep my old blogger site (more or less) current as a back-up for those who prefer the old look. However, please limit your comments to this site, especially if you want a timely response (unless you don’t mind waiting anywhere from a couple weeks to forever).

Finally, no mailbag today as I’m off to watch the Giants hopefully pull the upset. Failing that, nothing would be sweeter than seeing the Patriots cap a perfect season with a dispiriting play-off loss. GO ANYONEELSEBUTTHEPATRIOTS!

December 28, 2007

While I wouldn’t describe my mother as anti-social, I would argue that she is much, much, MUCH more comfortable socializing with people she knows. Which is why she was of two minds about going to visit her old friend Carla last night. On the one hand, she hadn’t seen Carla in years and, now that she was in Vancouver, here was a rare chance to catch up. On the other hand, Carla had recently married which meant mom would be spending the evening with her friend AND her friend’s new husband. Not a big deal to most but, like I said, my mother can be very particular about certain things. In the end, she decided “What the hey” (not “What the Hell” as she is a former minister in the United Church), figuring she would probably be spending most of the evening talking to Carla anyway.

The dinner invitation was for 6:00 p.m. and, since Fondy was still at work, it fell on my sister and I to drop mom off. We were, I should mention, kindly invited as well and while the thought of sitting down to a vegetarian feast ranks right up there for me alongside playing Santa at the nearest home for wayward youth, joining a roving choir for a boisterous round of caroling, and visiting my local botanical garden for its seasonal Christmas light show (see yesterday’s entry), it was Andria’s last night in town and she really wanted to go out for something extra special (read: non-vegetarian).

So we dropped mom off and, on her insistence, accompanied her to the door so that we could say our hello’s. I rang the bell and, as I waited for someone to answer, I peered in through the window and could make out two couples inside. Then, glancing back up the walk, noticed another woman making her way toward us, wine bottle in tow. “Hey, I didn’t know it was a dinner party!”I remarked. It was clearly a surprise to my mother as well who murmured “Neither did I!” before adopting a not-wholly-convincing grin for the welcoming host and hostess.

We left her amidst the whooping hilarity of strangers and headed over to Vij’s, my sister’s favorite Vancouver restaurant. Unfortunately, Vij’s doesn’t take reservation (legend has it they made Harrison Ford wait the last time he was in town) and neither of us really felt like sitting around for 2 hours for a table to free up, so we headed over to Tojo’s where we met up with Fondy and ran into Stargate Writer-Producer-Director Robert C. Cooper and his wife Hillary who were out with Rob’s parents. After a great sushi dinner, we stopped off at a nearby tea house, Steeps, for some matcha eggnog and carrot cake - which took us to a little after 9:00 p.m. Mom had been there three hours. Surely more than enough time to bond with her new friends. Hopefully, she was ready to go.

As we pulled up in front of Carla’s house, Andria noted: “They’re watching t.v.” I assumed she was mistaken but, as I headed up the walk, I could see that she was right. There they sat, all gathered in the living room, watching t.v. “I wonder what’s on?“I wondered aloud. Turns out the entire dinner party was watching a home video of Carla and her hubby’s recent visit to Wreck Beach, one of Vancouver’s best known nude hang-outs. “Hi, mom!”I waved, drawing her attention away from the naked 50-something fellow. She waved back, wearing the same forced grin she’d been sporting three hours earlier. I assume her jaw was very sore. As the naked people flounced about onscreen, I couldn’t help but think back to that afternoon when mom had asked me to turn off a steamy daytime soap scene she’d pronounced “pornographic”. “Ready to go?” The fact that she was already in the hallway, putting her boots on told me “Yes!”

So we said our goodbyes, politely ignored the fact that the place smelled like at least one of the revelers had apparently paid the price for drinking far too much wine, and left.

Well, that was that. With another day drawing to a close, I was looking forward to catching the news, crawling into bed, and reading a couple of chapters of Hal Clement’s Mission of Gravity before lights out. It wasn’t until we rolled into the garage that my mother cried out: “My purse!”

We turned the car around and went all the way back, parking the car out front so that Andria could hop out and reclaim the purse mom had left behind. She did and, for the second time that night, we were on our way. Once again, I was looking forward to the news, a little reading, and my nice warm bed. Until I heard my mother cry out: “My glasses!”

Today’s pic: Mom.

Today’s mailbag:

Susiekew writes: “I really liked Peter DeLuise’s work on SG1 over the years. Any chance he will direct any SGA in season 5?”

Answer: Alas, Peter will not be directing SGA in season 5.

Vv0472 writes: “1) Who is your favorite Arrested Development character? 2) Who is your favorite Boston Legal character? 3) Who came up with the name Puddle Jumper?”

Answers: 1) Buster. 2) Alan Shore. 3) Brad Wright.

Annie from Freemantle writes: “Gilligan’s Island was constantly repeated- you call them reruns and it always left the questions begging in this then 10 yr old..

1- Why did they take all those suitcases for a three hour tour? 2- Seeing as Gilligan and the skipper wore the same clothes all the time, were they naked on wash day? 3- Why didn’t they fix the hole in the boat?”

Answers: 1) I believe the Howell’s had the huge wardrobe (as everyone else wore pretty much the same thing) and only because they were incredibly eccentric. 2. Yes, they were. Don’t you remember the naked laundry episode? 3) The Professor was tech smart, not handyman smart.

PG15 writes: “When are you guys going back to the studio to continue production for Season 5?”

Answer: Production on the show’s fifth season begins in mid-February. We (the producers) will be in about a month earlier to prepare (ie. Clean out the coffee filters and such).

Thornyrose writes: “Are we going to see the Travellers again in season 4, and if so any hints as to which episode/s?”

Answer: Yes and VERY soon.

Morgia writes: “do you ever read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”

Answer: Haven’t read it yet but loved Blade Runner.

OregonJenwrites: “Who is older - you or your sister - and do you have other siblings?”

Answer: It’s just my sister and I, and I’m a year older.

AnneTeldy writes: “Could your dislike of the Christmas lights be — in part — because of the location’s connection to “Irresponsible”?”

Answer: I believe you’re confusing The Van Dusen Gardens with the far more garish Fantasy Gardens.

Anais a ecrit: “1) Vous aimez les macarons? a quel parfum? 2) lequel de vos chiens est le plus gourmand?”

Reponses: 1) Oui. Crème de marron. 2) Ils sont tous gourmands?

Sort of translation: I prefer chestnut cream macarons and all of my dogs are gourmands.

shiningwit writes: “Do you or have you ever watched Doctor Who and if so what do you think of David Tennant’s portrayal?”

Answer: I think Tennant is a great Doctor. I’ve watched the first two seasons but have yet to get around to the third.

Claire writes: “Is there any chance of us seeing Ba’al in the Pegasus galaxy?”

Answer: There’s always a chance but, at present, no plans.

Carwyn writes: “I haven’t yet braved any other series (except SG-1) but I plan on doing so soon. Do you have any recommendations for a newbie sci-fi fan?”

Answer: Hmmm. Let’s see. Well, if you enjoyed SG-1 there’s another series you might enjoy called Stargate: Atlantis…

Emily writes: “Your site meter is confusing me…”

Answer: I’ve switched background themes because the one I was using wouldn’t allow me to use site meter. The count is low because it is only counting that first day. The count at my former blog site (when I last checked) was a little over 800 000 visits and over a million page views. I’ll update the numbers when I have time.

December 27, 2007

Next to playing Santa at the nearest home for wayward youth or joining a roving choir for a boisterous round of caroling, what do you figure would be the last thing I’d want to be doing this time of year? Yep, you guessed it: visiting my local botanical garden for its seasonal Christmas light show. And yet, that’s exactly where I ended up last night - at Vancouver’s Van Dusen Gardens for its 2007 Festival of Lights. It was a little after 8:00 p.m. when we arrived and conveniently found parking not too far from the place. With only an hour before closing and pressed for time, we opted to take a shortcut by trudging through the back lawn, Fondy leading the way. The ground was unusually soggy and, as I slowed to help my mom, I heard Fondy call out: “My shoe! My shoe!” I glanced over and noticed she was teetering on one foot, her other foot, now bare, waving about as she desperately scanned her darkened surroundings, like an elegant ballerina in filthy, frost-covered Swan Lake. “I can’t find my shoe!” Being the dutiful husband I am, I immediately launched into action, going for my camera intent on snapping a blog-worthy pic of my wife‘s designer shoe lying nestled in the mud. “Can somebody get my shoe?!”. Alas, my sister stepped in and rescued it from the muck, robbing me of my photo op. Fondy threw me a look, put her shoe back on, then stepped forward - and left her other shoe behind. “Let’s go this way,”I suggested, directing my mother around the quagmire while Fondy, fed up and shoes in hand, squelched through the sodden lawn barefoot. “Thank God I didn’t catch fire!”she said aloud, throwing me a glare as no-doubt icy as her feet while she put her shoes back on. “Joe would’ve stopped to take pictures.” I wanted to point out that I didn’t actually get to take any pictures, but elected to keep my mouth shut and headed for the entrance.

So we strolled through the vast garden and its admittedly dazzling display, stopping to take in a musical multi-colored light spectacle that made the Bellagio fountain show look like, well, the Bellagio fountain show. Still, the Van Dusen Garden version was not bad - and mercifully short. We moved on, but I could tell Fondy was feeling the chill. “Do you want to stop off and get some hot chocolate or hot apple cider,”I suggested, “- to pour over your feet?” “I’m fine,”she replied, forging ahead through “gingerbread alley” where the gingerbread men lining the walk looked more demonic than festive with their rictus grins and blazing red eyes. Once we’d passed the last luminous green toadstool, my mother suggested we call it a night. Hey, works for me! In and out in an hour! And so, satisfied with our outing, we headed back to the car.

We took the long way around.

Today’s mailbag -

Susan the Tartan Turtle writes: “Did you check Lulu’s tummy for the heart medication?”

Answer: That’s the first thing I considered although, in this case, I’d have to check for both the heart medication AND its plastic dispenser. Still highly possible.

Thunder writes: “How come I can’t see the video?”

Answer: I’m not sure why some of you can’t see the video. However, for those of you interested, here’s the URL: http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7609661590527338306&hl=en-CA

Montrealer writes: “I believe that IamJohn is thinking of getting SG-1 online outside of the US.”

Answer: Oh. Sorry, I can’t help you there. I have no say in which region gets to see what. For what it’s worthy, I do sympathize and feel it is unfair that fans outside of the U.S. are apparently unable to legally download episodes.

Riley writes: “It’s “overdue”!”

Answer: My bad. I know the difference but failed to properly proofread my entry. Which happens a lot.

Arctic Goddess writes: “ Have you ever tried Kobe beef?”

Answer: Ever since we had the Kobe beef in Tokyo four years ago, Fondy and I have a hard time eating regular beef here in North America. Nothing even comes close.

Beth G. writes: “I was wondering whether or not you’d named any of the pugs?”

Answer: Fondy named all of the pugs. If I’d had my way, Lulu would have been called Electro.

Jedi43 writes: “Any Sheppard fighting to save his life with the Bantos rods or something similar in S5?”

Answer: Way too early to tell.

John in NZ writes: “Do the dogs simply adapt to whatever method the daycare chooses?”

Answer: Usually. Although the daycares are fully prepared for any unforeseen accident.

My Name Is Scott writes: “What would you say the oddest name in your family is?”

Answer: Not so many odd names in my family, but Fondy has an uncle Marble and had a cousin Mars and Venus. Mars! The Roman god of war! How cool is that? Apparently, not cool enough because Mars changed his name to Norton.

Emily writes: “Would you recommend Philip K. Dick’s Ubik?”

Answer: Without reservations. It was an incredibly compelling read.

Erika writes: “Have you seen Howl’s Moving Castle? Or read the book that it’s based on?”

Answer: I own the dvd but have yet to watch it.

Gracey writes: “I watched the marathon off and on and was wondering if Joel Goldsmith was responsible for the Orlin theme music???”

Answer: Yes, Joel is responsible for all of the music. He’s great, no?

Charles Schneider writes: “Have you been to Chris Judge’s poker night lately?”

Answer: I’ve been remiss. And, at the Ark of Truth screening, Chris reprimanded me for not showing up at the last few times he hosted.

big paw writes: “just wondering if you’ve read any of the cirque de freak books by darren shan??”

Answer: Haven’t. What are they like?

Jimbo writes: “Any reason for the lack of participation from not only the actors, but yourself?”

Answer: It always comes down to availability.

Majorsal writes: “Joe, is there a way of activating some ‘preview your post’ thinger?”

Answer: I can’t seem to find this option. If anyone knows where it is and how I can activate it, I’d be happy to do so.

Scarym writes: “I read your interview in the lastest Stargate Magazine. Loved it. Does Chris Judge know what you said about him?”

Answer: I don’t even remember what I said. Give me a hint? Am I looking to be on the receiving end of some Jaffa revenge thing?

Annie from Freemantle writes: “This Christmas I’ve turned two people onto Joe’s(z) blog (ok being a bitch here lol).. they say that Joe’s humour is right up their alley!!”

Answer: Bless you and their little hearts (and exceptional tastes).

December 26, 2007

“Tonight, we’ll be watching a movie downstairs in the theater room,”I informed my mother. “You can choose between The Queen, As You Like It, or Snakes on a Plane.” She seemed delighted at the prospect. But, come 8:00 p.m., she chose neither and we ended up staying upstairs where she watched The Sound of Music for, conservatively, the 125th time. While Julie Andrews and those annoyingly precocious Von Trapp kids battled fascism through the combined forces of song and lederhosen, I sequestered myself in my office where I finished up The Princess Bride.

So, all in all, a fairly satisfying Christmas day highlighted by another excellent dinner (my sister made lamb, my mother made rabbit), a fruitless search for mom’s heart medication, and a curious comment redirected to my spam folder that read “This post is hoting now. It is high-ranked at….” Hoting? Really? Well, I clicked on the link and was taken to a site that, evidently, offers a daily ranking of the various wordpress blogs and posts. Sort of a Top 100. This blog, for instance, holds the #19 position in yesterday’s ranking, beating out blogs devoted to Bollywood, Christmas Jokes and instances in comic books where one or more characters are either kicked or punched in the groin, but lagging far behind the #1 blog which is dedicated to cute cat pictures (I feel the need to point out that my blog offers not only cute animal pics AND videos but the occasional angry tirade which, you‘d think, would at least put it within striking distance of that blog showcasing strange maps - but I digress). Yesterday’s post, meanwhile, is ranked #23, sandwiched between #24 “How to Hook Up Your LCD Plasma DLP HDTV - HDMI? DVI? Component?” and #23 “Special Notes on Papal Christmas Liturgies”.

Sure, I suppose a #19 ranking is pretty good considering the number of wordpress blogs out there (clearly, at least 100), but I can’t help but think I could do better by applying myself a little more and focusing, not so much on me and my life, but what seems to be working for all of these other blogs (or, at the very least, the ones that are beating the hell out of me). So, less cute dogs and more cute cats. Less food and family and more about the upcoming Presidential Primaries. Less about Stargate and more about West Virginia football. Starting….today!

1) So, the Iowa Caucus is fast-approaching, and things are looking very interesting in the race for the White House. Veeery interesting indeed. Yep.

2) Speaking of interesting, the West Virginia Mountaineers will be facing the Oklahoma Sooners in this year’s Fiesta Bowl. Looks like quite the match-up.

3) I have no pictures of cute cats for today’s entry.

Well, I’m keen to see how that shakes up tomorrow’s rankings. And, within the next two months, I hope to be drinking champagne out of the big crystal and gold trophy they award the #1 weblog. It’s wasted on those cute cats. They don’t even like champagne.

Sounds like everyone is having a great holiday (uninspired home made mincemeat pie notwithstanding).

Today’s video: Lulu flushes Bubba out of hiding.

Le mailbag -

Kathy writes: “I graduated in April with a Bach of FiTV and have working in three film offices. Is there a way I can shoot my resume over your way, if you’re in need of an assistant or an extra office hand?”

Answer: Given the fact that we’ve collapsed our two departments into one (with the completion of work on SG-1), it’s unlikely that any positions will open up for the show’s fifth season of production. Still, you can certainly send it to the Bridge Studios (Pegasus Productions, 2400 Boundary Road, Burnaby, B.C., V5M 3Z3).

Emily writes: “Do you enjoy chocolate-covered espresso beans?”

Answer: Not so much.

Carol Z. writes: “Um, couldn’t help noticing that your pups seem to have rather long doggie toenails.”

Answer: Too true! They’re overdo for a clipping.

Susan the Tartan Turtle writes: “How old is Lulu? How old are the pugs?”

Answer: Jelly is 8, Maximus 7, Bubba 5, Lulu 6 months old.

Ant writes: “When you said you wrote a feature, as well as a Seinfeld spec, did you mean that you wrote a movie script?”

Answer: Yes, it was a complete movie script. Partial scripts or excerpts don’t really work as specs as they are intended to demonstrate one’s ability to craft a complete story (beginning, middle, and end).

Nettyo writes: “Have you watched any Bleach and are you a fan of Studio Ghibli? And if so, what is your favourite movie?”

Answer: Have yet to watch Bleach and, yes, I am a fan of Studio Ghibli. My favorite movie: Grave of the Fireflies (followed by Spirited Away).

Anais a ecrit: “Je vient d’apprendre que j’avais la maladie de raynaud…”

Reponse: J’espère que vous vous sentez mieux!

IamJohn writes: “Joe have you ever thought about having SG-1 available online?”

Answer: It is available online, through iTunes for one.

December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas to all those celebrating! We fested in grand Mallozzi tradition by pretty much eating our faces off. Now, usually, I prepare a roast for the occasion but, since the gang at Fuel offered, I was more than happy to take a couple of magnificent cote de boeufs off their hands along with some of their buttery whipped potatoes. Mom contributed by making cannelloni and roasted cipollini onions while my sister’s spin on a Nigella Lawson-inspired brussel sprout and pancetta dish proved a rousing success. Three fantastic desserts capped off the meal: a Ganache Patisserie dark chocolate gingerbread mousse - peach ginger compote - white chocolate Szechuan pepper parfait - gingersnap crumble - chocolate pumpkin cake, a chocolate veloute comprised of 70% dark chocolate mousse and dark chocolate crème brulee (also from Ganache Patisserie), and Fondy’s favorite purple yam (ube) cake (from Goldilocks bakery) that I, of course, crowned with pistachio ice cream and a generous drizzle of Advokaat (eggnog liqueur).

Suitably stuffed, I worked off dinner by sitting on the couch and reading the first couple of hundred pages of The Princess Bride while Fondy, sis, mom, and Shawne (Fondy’s business partner who brought her two skipperkees along) settled down to an animated game of Scrabble followed by an equally raucous round of Pictionary. Oh yeah, I also found time to get bitten by Lulu who drew blood when I moved in to separate her from Jelly once they started fighting over their Hoggin-Dawgs stuffed ice cream cone toy. She’s turning out to be quite the little bitch, always stealing toys from the other pugs and then getting into scraps with them when they attempt to reclaim the purloined items. I believe some time in bulldog boot camp may be in order.

Come midnight - exhausted and ready for bed - we decided to open our presents. My sister distributed them, Fondy handled garbage detail, I snapped photos, and my mother rescued the used wrapping paper, carefully smoothing it out and refolding it for future re-use. I was handed a chocolate assortment with a card that read: To Joe, Love Liz. “Who the heck is Liz?”I wondered aloud. “Sis,”my mother corrected me as, very clearly, she had been the one to give me the gift on my sister’s behalf. “But it says Liz,”I had to point out yet again. “It says Sis,”my mother insisted. I motioned my sister over (whose name is Andria, by the way, and not Liz) and asked her to read the card. “To Joe,”she read. “Love Liz.” “Sis!”my mother persisted. Okay, okay. Sis it is. But I’ve included a pic of the card and will let you decide. I also scored more chocolate, a Pied de Cochon cookbook, even more chocolate, another cookbook (which, my sister pointed out, will join the many other cookbooks sitting forlorn and gathering dust on my downstairs bookshelf), yet more chocolate, cologne, and an impressive array of black socks (as opposed to the Christmas socks I received one year and made the mistake of wearing to work one day only to have them go off and play a little holiday tune - during the board meeting I was attending). A great haul for everyone else. I won’t go into detail (as I’m sure you’ll read all about it on their respective blogs), but the highlights included a wacky framed picture of my wacky wife, some cordless phones for my mother that I told her were walkie talkies in the event she got lost in the woods and needed to contact the local authorities for immediate evac (it was great watching her try to look pleased with the unexpected gift), and a Tiffany necklace and, yes, Christmas socks for Andria.

By the way, just a reminder to all of those taking part in the Book Club discussions that we’ll be discussing Peter Straub’s Ghost Story and/or Audrey Niffenegger’s The Time Traveler’s Wife and/or William Goldman’s The Princess Bride during the first full week of January, and following the week after with a discussion of Sean Wiliams’ The Crooked Letter (those taking part in the latter have a shot at winning a copy of the second book in the series, compliments of Pyr). I finished off Joe Abercrombie’s Last Argument of Kings and Philip K. Dick’s Ubik last week and will be weighing in with my thoughts in the coming days.

And Happy Birthday to PG15!

Damnit! I included comments with all of the pics but they didn’t show up. They went something like this -

Video: Lulu claims Max’s Christmas collar.

Pics: Shawne and the little terror, cote de boeuf, canelloni, brussel sprouts cooking, cipollini onions, Jelly chows down on her strawberry cone, Liz?, a keeper for my office, Fondy, SOCKS!!!, and one of those splatter guards for when you’re frying something up, Andria and her new necklace, my mother’s new walkie-talkies, Jelly and her Hoggin-Dawgz ice cream cone.

A quickie mailbag -

PG15 writes: “ Are you gonna give us another spoiler poem to end the year like last year?”

Answer: It really depends on how creative I feel when the time comes.

Raina James writes: “The Night Before Christmas: Atlantis Style”

Answer: Destined to be a Pegasus holiday classic.

Talen writes: “By the way, do you read or write poetry?”

Answer: I do not.

Siba writes: “Do you speak Italian as well?!”

Answer: I do.

Dovil writes: “Put this down to too much food and drink…”

Answer: This is cause for celebration! Dovil, this is the first comment you’ve sent me that I haven’t had to fish out of my spam folder.

December 24, 2007

In my family, we like our Christmas trees like we like our dinners: eclectic, colorful, and of occasional dubious taste. Check out this year’s artistic evergreen - all angels and ice skates and sparkly gold violins, decked out like David Arquette hitting the town. Nothing says Christmas like a brightly festooned pine - with the exception, of course, of a creepy automated gift-giving granny (located right beside it). We stayed up late last night decorating, then woke up early this morning to keep Lulu from opening all of the presents.

Well, a short entry today as I prepare for tonight’s festivities. Fondy is off running errands, my mother is making cannelloni, and my sister is distracting the dogs while I write this entry. So…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all of you from all of us -

Joe, Aloysius P. Hazzencockle, Percival H. Lintmuffin, Edward Witney, Abigail Wazznucklegrant, Merton Castrati, Doogie Chapadapalapolous, Norman Shuttlecock Jr., Alphonso Rubello, Helena Krumpett-Fullbottom, Margaret Quibble, Fortescu Strickland Von Letterdam Junior, Florence Shezzledap, Melvin’s Kidnappers, Agent Wexler, Cookie Monster, and Baron Destructo.

Cc: Calamitous Jane, Glaxnor the Miscreant, Sinderella Washington, Xxxaptak’qul, Dr. Catastro, Dr. Disastro, Dr. Quinn Meddlesome Woman, Ray Mephistopheles, Archfiend Animus, Brutus Badly, the Plague Zombies, Vorzik the Planet Squisher, the Malevolater, Count Sinister, Kugal Baruth, Death Knell, Star Father Celestio, Shatterdam, Princess Arcana, the Mystifier, the Procrastinator, the Soul Emancipator, Quickstrike, Professor Frosty, Flamer the Flaming Man, the Pummeler, the Purple Lamprey, and John Tesh.

Today’s mailbag -

Jam writes: “Do you know of any good vegetarian restaurants in Vancouver?”

Answer: Hell no. But, just for you, I did a little research and came up with the following: Annapurna (1812 West 4th) and The Naam (2724 West 4th). Let me know how it goes.

Aelfgyu writes: “I saw your mention of getting a show’s bible to write for it; are there SG-1 and SGA bibles?”

Answer: No, there aren’t.

Serendipity writes: “Do you remember what the storyline was for your Seinfeld spec and feature?”

Answer: Something to do with macaroons, a speeding ticket, and a Peruvian soccer team Kramer is billeting.

Boo writes: “is that jelly with lulu?”

Answer: Nope. That’s Bubba (or Bubbuba as my mother calls him).

Royal Nonesuch writes: “Have you ever considered adding a military chaplain, or some such other character to bring htose topics in a little more?”

Answer: To be honest, it is something we have yet to seriously consider.

Majorsal writes: “if you were thinking about doing anymore exploring of the city?”

Answer: It was a topic we discussed back in November.

Kdvb1 writes: “Did you actually consider killing off MCKAY??”

Answer: This is how rumors get started. To answer your question - no.

Pauline writes: “What made you approach animation studios in particular?”

Answer: They’re more receptive to first-time writers and tend to have a bigger production turnover. Also, animation scripting is a great way to hone your craft. Good luck!

Thunder writes: “Is the first picture of Jelly and the rest are of Bubba?”

Answer: Both Jelly and Bubba thank you for correctly identifying them.

Wams352 writes: “Can you explain if DirectTV (or other satellite) ratings/viewers really don’t count?”

Answer: It’s not that they don’t count but SciFi, which pays the licensing fee for our show, is understandably more focused on the numbers pulled in on their network.

Kathleen writes: “Have you read any of Jim Butcher’s “Codex Alera” series?”

Answer: I haven’t.

Susiekew writes: “The two dishes that really stood out for me were a devine melt in your mouth veal dish a and butternut squash soup that was to die for.”

Answer: I love butternut squash soup with a touch of white truffle oil.

Anne Teldy writes: “Student Bodies. The horror film spoof?????”

Answer: No, the teen sitcom.

Georgia writes: “Can you recommend a respectable nanny/pet sitting agency in Vancouver?”

Answer: Unfortunately, our dog nanny went into business with my wife and now works full-time at the pet boutique. I did some research for someone else but don’t have the information handy. I’ll email you.

Susiekew also writes: “In your video of several days ago, who was playing king (or queen) of the cushion that Lulu was so determined to have?”

Answer: That would be Maximus.

Paloosa writes: “As digital product slowly replaces physical product, the problem will become even more acute.”

Answer: Interesting insights and very true. Instead of playing catch-up, all the industries effected need to come up with a better game plan to deal with the constantly evolving technology.

Old Timer writes: “ But it’s been a long time in the making. I don’t mean the betrayal, I mean the leak. I’ve been a long, long fan of your show, from before you and Paul were even on staff. Those were the blissful days, when I knew I could come be a part of fandom online with my “Gate” friends and not have to worry about spoilers. […] You will of course think that this is our responsibility, not yours. You’re wrong. It’s on you. Don’t say we can just avoid them. They’re too pervasive, too common. To do that, we’d have to forsake our friends, both online and off.”

Answer: You’re comparing your t.v.-viewing experience of today to that of ten years ago and, in all fairness, a lot has changed. For starters, the role of the internet has grown considerably in the decade since the show premiered. There are many, many more fans online now with many, many more resources to choose from, official and fan-driven sites dedicated to the multitude of fans clamoring for information about the show. The popularity of the Stargate franchise has also grown considerably in ten years and, as a result, so have the marketing prospects open to it. The ever-increasing number of genre magazines, newspapers, and E.T.-style shows looking for a new story, a different angle, a scoop, force us to walk a very fine line between balancing opportunities to promote the show and maintaining the show’s integrity. To that end, we’ve always strived to make the distinction between teasers (tidbits concerning upcoming episodes designed to whet a fan’s appetite without spoiling the episode for them) and spoilers (which, essentially, ruin the surprises in store). Furthermore, while you may think it’s only a simple matter of keeping spoilers under wraps, that’s easier said than done. We can ask fan sites not to reveal upcoming storylines, request that the network not give away major plot twists in their promos, try our best to hide casting and script developments from prying eyes, but let’s just say it doesn’t always work out the way we’d like it to.

I do, however, take exception to your equating the information revealed in promos and interviews (and even this blog) to the theft and illegal uploading of an unfinished movie. The former involves teasers, and certainly in some cases spoilers, that have either been released by the production to help promote the show, or acquired through public resources. The latter involves someone breaking the law. There’s a huge difference.

Finally, while I find your defeatest attitude regarding your experience somewhat puzzling. You say you don’t like to be spoiled, yet are clearly unwilling to avoid the potential for being spoiled by frequenting forums where said spoilers are being discussed. Granted, you don’t want to cut yourself off from your online friends but most every Stargate forum I’ve visited offers plenty of spoiler-free threads for discussion. It’s just a matter of exercising self-control and not wading into threads where you know spoilers will be discussed.

A. writes: “Is it standard practice for US networks to send unfinished copies of shows to reviewers?”

Answer: No, it isn’t. Finished copies were supposed to go out but somebody screwed up and sent out the wrong version. This was quickly rectified when the mistake was discovered and new versions sent out - but, by that time, the unfinished versions had already found their way online.

Lysambre writes: “I’ve searched for “workout” in your blog, and found only 3 entries mentionning said workout”

Answer: Also try searching for “work-out” and “work out”. I wake up every morning and work out for about an hour. I alternate, one day weights, the next day cardio. My weights program is now comprised of a full body circuit training work-out (I complete work out all the muscle groups, completing one uninterrupted circuit [one set of each exercise] - then rest a couple of minutes and repeat. Twice.). My cardio is comprised of about fifteen minutes each of a light treadmill run, a brisk treadmill walk with varied elevations, the traditional elliptical, a reverse elliptical. If I’ve done weights, I’ll usually have a protein shake immediately after my work-out. If I’ve done cardio, I’ll usually wait an hour before having a well-balanced breakfast.

Anais a ecrit: “ alors que je vous pose des questions sans réponse, et quand un anglais vous pose la même pour lui répondé!!!”

Reponse: Si c’est la même question, je répondrai à celui en anglais alors que tout le monde puisse comprendre.

The more of less translation - If I’m asked the same question in both French and English, I’ll answer to the question in English so that most of the other fans will be able to understand.

Valkyrie writes: “Is it easier or more difficult to script for animation as opposed to the live action of a TV show?”

Answer: It really has more to do with the writer and the show you’re writing for.

Gennifer wrote: “ SQ2839, learn to do your research. If you did, you might find this comment: “Raoul: In retrospect, how do you feel about the decision to go in a different direction with the Weir character? JM: Personally, I feel good because I was in on the decision-making process there….”

Answer: Hey, here’s an idea: instead of reprimanding someone else on doing proper research, maybe you should take your own advice and be a little more thorough in interpreting my words. The question I was asked was: “In retrospect, how do you feel about the decision to go in a different direction with the Weir character?” It wasn’t “Are you happy that you got rid of Weir?” or “Are you glad you replaced Weir?”. It was, very clearly, a response to a question about the creative direction of her character. So, in the future, either be a little more honest in your interpretation. Or, failing that, do a much better job of taking my words out of context.

Jennie in Oregon writes: “I also want to thank you again for the great restaurant recommendation that made my birthday dinner in Vancouver in July very fun and special!”

Answer: Where’d you go while you were in town?

A writes: “Oh, look, here’s a link to the article where JM says he feels good about the decision to remove Weir […] Now how about you stop accusing people of lying to suit their own agendas?”

Answer: That’s kind of hard to do when individuals such as yourself are doing just that. “Joe says he’s happy he got rid of Torri!”is the one I hear repeated which, pretty clearly (and thanks for the link that helps me prove this point) misrepresents what I actually said - that I felt good about the creative direction we were going with her character.