Monday, December 10, 2007

December 10, 2007
















Although the invitation said 7:30 p.m., Fondy and I swung by Marty G.’s place and picked him and Stephanie up at 6:45 p.m., just in case we ran into traffic or had trouble finding parking. Turned out neither was the case and we ended up being the first ones strolling in at 7:00 p.m. Well, the first ones after proud writer-director Robert C. Cooper who had no doubt gotten there early to help set up the post-screening cheese banquet and dessert table.

While the gals headed over to the concession stand to load up on popcorn and bottled war, Rob, Martin, and I schmoozed as the cast and crew trickled in. Ben Browder was the first of the actors to show, sporting a mop top that I automatically assumed he was growing out for some upcoming role like maybe the adult version of H.R. Pufnstuf. I’d assumed incorrectly. According to Ben, he was letting the hair go until he landed his next job. Well, here’s hoping the WGA reaches a deal soon. Reeaaaal soon. I was going to snap a pic for the blog but Ben was having none of it. So, those of you reading this blog will note the absence of a couple of leads - most notably the camera-shy Ben Browder and the unable-to-attend Amanda Tapping. Still, some fun photos of the rest of the gang.

Eternal class act Beau Bridges was in attendance - on his birthday no less! As most of you know, Beau has been incredibly busy and particularly enjoying his time on My Name is Earl in which he plays the title character’s much put-upon father. Boston Legal veteran Currie Graham, Tim Guinee (a.k.a. Tomin), and the deliciously evil Adria (Morena Baccarin) also showed for the event. And, finally, making their grand appearance just prior to screening so as to avoid the paparazzi: Chris Judge, Michael Shanks, and the lovely Lexa Doig.

Fondy and I joined Alex Levine and Ivon Bartok in the balcony’s back row (which most of you know as “the make-out section”) where we sat back and enjoyed The Ark of Truth along with the gang of rowdies from VFX led by Michelle Comens. Damn, there’s nothing like seeing it on the big screen. Well, there’s not much I can add to what I’ve already said about this movie except: if you want to know how it all turns out re: those pesky Ori, then pick up the DVD. Oh, and expect a few surprises along the way.

Once the last of the credits had rolled, we all headed downstairs for cheese and twelve different desserts. Fondy and I worked the room, chatted with Morena (who, in case you‘ve never met her at one of the cons, is a sweetheart), congratulated Rob, talked Stargate Universe with Brad, then said our goodbyes and were looking at an early getaway - until we ran into Chris and Lexa. Chris, ever magnanimous, welcomed Fondy with a monster hug, asked her how she was doing, then proceeded to chide me for missing the last few poker nights. Although I rarely have occasion to speak to Lexa in a social setting, I’ve got to say she is one of the funniest women I’ve met. We talked upcoming projects, where I could get my hands on a stylish silver and black MedicAlert that would allow me to show support for my favorite football team AND survive a future emergency hospital visit, and dangerous places to work and visit. Michael eventually showed up to rescue his wife, entertaining all with a hilarious staggering imitation of I’m-not-sure-who because I missed the set up but my guess was either Keith Richards or Chris Judge at one of his poker soirees. Since he was there, I took the opportunity to pitch Michael what we had so far on the Daniel Jackson story - something happens and Atlantis must call in Dr. Jackson who is the key to solving some as-of-yet-undecided mystery and this leads to all sorts of hilarious misadventure. I suggested that if he had any notes, now would be a good time to give them.

We got home a little after 11:00 p.m. and so was able to make it an early night and get some reading in before finally drifting off to sleep, visions of Merlin, the Doci, and Lt. Binder dancing in my head.

Today’s pics: The Ark of Truth screening.

Today’s mailbag: non-existent.

573 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 400 of 573   Newer›   Newest»
AV eddy said...

Anjirika said...[snip]
"To JoeM and the other powers that be, of course I don't wish that you'd all be fired- but I do wish that you would step up and admit your mistake of getting rid of Elizabeth and Carson."


Anjirika, please note this is not an attack. (Sad I have to preface my remarks so, eh?) :(

Anyway, why do you wish JM and TPTB would "admit [their] mistake?"

Also, what if they honestly don't believe they made a mistake?

eddy

Anonymous said...

Goodness, the originator of the phrase, "Weird Fans". Sans is such a class act, really.

Don't forget "Shweirdos". Sans, Vaberella, and Celede use that one all the time too.

ptarmigan said...

Okay guys, we need to get organized to rescue Joe. So how about the following assignments?

AV Eddy, can you can round up the ARGs to deal with any RepliJoes? Pauline seems ready handle the ransom campaign. Yasmin and PG-15 can make sure that our highly trained kick-and-slap martial artists are warmed up and ready. Cathie can grab a brush and comb to search the jungle of Mr. Browder’s “Cousin It” hair. Peek will rope the nearest alligator and start searching through large boxes in the postal service. Susan the Tartan Turtle will start questioning all the pugs in Scotland. Dovil and Shawna can liaise between the Special Forces units from the various countries of the world. Lt.Col.Errandboy has agreed to take charge of the refreshment committee. Neep, Uber and Annie will have the important task of making sure that everyone’s spork is cleaned, loaded and ready for combat. Edward4th is in charge of the sage advice department. Finally, Moe Jacuzzi is eager to take charge of making sure that Joe is safely escorted out of any dangerous situation we may find him in. (Mel, did I miss anyone?) So, everyone grab your sporks (or foons… whatever)!

HANG ON JOE, WE’RE COMING!

Anonymous said...

Wow, so glad I finally checked the comments. Glad everything is alright; waiting eagerly for the fixes to be made and the posts to resume.
Mem

Dee in South Africa said...

PG 15 Said
"...or you could've accidentally brushed a knife off of the kitchen counter, sending it flying and hitting a picture frame hanging on the wall, cutting the strings holding it up, allowing it to plummet to the floor, shattering its glass covering and sending them flying (again), and maybe one of the glass pieces didn't lie flat and was propped up by another glass fragment, and it was in the way of sunlight, such that the light shining through the glass was able to be concentrated onto the carpet and thereby starting a fire that burned your house down with you in it!"

Nah, Joe managed to escape but was mowed down by the fire truck driven by their newest recruit Philimon Oboyo, a Nigerian trying for refugee status so he can put his sordid life as a Yahoo email scammer behind him.

Luckily our Joe is a trim athletic man who somehow managed to pirouette out of the way just in time. (The less mentioned about that graceful ballet move the better for all concerned - especially Joe.)

Poor Philimon, unused to having the front of his big red fire truck used as a barre, almost died of shock. Luckily for him he will make a full recovery.

Unfortunately now there is paperwork to be filled out.

A. Lot. Of. Paperwork. For a paperless society we sure seem to have plenty of it!

As Philimon is still in shock, (and there are no other witnesses), it is up to Mr. Mallozzi to fill the accident report out.

He should be done by Friday. :-)

AnneTeldy said...

ptarmigan said...

(Mel, did I miss anyone?)

You didn't give me a job.:-(

Anne Teldy (who pointed out the possibility of kidnapping by enemies of Baron Destructo)

Anonymous said...

Great...I'm a spork cleaner.

yipppppeeeee........ O_o

Anonymous said...

Ok, I've discovered that reading a year's worth of blog entries in a short amount of time from most recent to oldest does really bad things to your head. I've discovered that I can't sleep without Baron Destructo making an appearance (which seems to be Lulu in a black and red cape, a thin moustache with twirls on the end, British accent and an evil laugh (I think Nibbler of Futurama might have had some influence there) and I'm living in a world of Jeopardy! I know the answer before I have the question. I've read as the blood tests come back all good and then went through the apprehension of the wait and finally the actual blood test. Next I'll start talking like yoda, addictive is this blog, yes?
Joe, my friend let's me know that her brand spanking new niece has been named Inara. Is there a good age in which we tell her she was named after a prostitute from a Sci Fi show?

PG15 said...

amy_g said...
If nothing else works, ask PG-15 to kindly lend you his flocking :p


NOT MY PRECIOUS!!!

I mean, ahem...uh...I'm busy training the slappers, oh yes. The key is to slap the computer at just the right angle (about 47 degrees to the vertical). That way, mysterious cosmic powers will ensure that Joe's computer will never break again.

Now, this Blogger problem, on the other hand...

AV eddy said...

Yup, ptarmigan! I've already flown to the SGC and picked up a dozen ARGs, as well as a couple of "AAARGH!"s.

The AV strike team is r-eddy!

eddy

morgia said...

«AnneTeldy a dit...
ptarmigan said...

(Mel, did I miss anyone?)

You didn't give me a job.:-(

Anne Teldy (who pointed out the possibility of kidnapping by enemies of Baron Destructo)»


HÉÉ ! You forgot me too ! Maybe Joe kidnapper's speak french, so you gonna need me !
Im ready to help !

Anonymous said...

ptarmigan said...
"did I miss anyone?"

Me! Me! Me! Pick me! *jumping up and down like donkey*

Me! I'm here! I wanna help!

Kimberly

Riley said...

Emily said:
Has anyone ever seen a spork not made of plastic?


I own a stack of 'em ... but am one of those weirdos who calls them "splades".

the dixon-stubblefield blog said...

For whomever asked: a spork is a fork/spoon combination - the spoon body with tiny fork tines at the end. It's uh, cheaper than a fork AND spoon or for those times you just can't decide (pie and ice cream, for instance).

And also (I can't look through all these comments! I'm lazy) non plastic sporklike implements often include salad utensils - wooden or metal - plus those "hostess" serving pieces in your fancy silverware set. But I don't call those sporks :)

I didn't get a job, darn it, in the big rescue...paparazzi?

wams352

Anonymous said...

@ Jen K

Thanks for the copyright info. I think that's kinda what I was inferring? Lol

So if we post an idea, just a loose idea Joe actually could use it. Which he probably wouldn't as I'm sure they have ideas coming out of their @$$ (as Jack would say). But I would think it quite cool if something I thought of, ended up on the show!!!

Kimberly

stargazer said...

Anonymous said...

amy_g said...
If you look at this:

Missing = 1.1
no Sam, no Elizabeth

The Seer = 1.1
yes Sam, no Elizabeth

TMC = possible 1.1
no Sam, yes Elizabeth

Maybe neither of them bring extra viewers to the show.
Maybe people watch the show for other characters OR watch it as a whole and don't care one way or the other whether any of these two characters are in the show or not...

In any case, I hope this ends the "if Torri was still a regular in s4, your ratings would be higher" kind of argument.

I am NOT anti Weir. I'm NOT anti Sam. In fact I like BOTH. I just think it doesn't make much sense to assume the show would get higher ratings with any of them being or not being there, when ratings have been pretty consistent whether any of them was there or not.

Great post, I entirely agree with you.

Ditto!!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a while, but this is my first comment. I really enjoy reading your blog, you have a great sense of humour, and the inside info and pictures from stargate are great.

I'm a fan of both SG1 and SGA, although SG1 is my favorite. I can't wait for AoT. I even have a countdown going! I am so grateful that there will at least be 10 new episodes of SGA next year, since all of my other shows only have a couple episodes left. :( I'm especially looking forward to Midway and the Kindred (1&2).

I leave you with one last thought:
Anytime you have a bad day, just remember everyone that was willing to come to your rescue (as long as there was coffee!)

Pauline said...

As the official holder of Joe’s ransom money can I just point out a few things?

Food coupons are not, I repeat not legal tender and will not be accepted as part of the ransom by the Baron.

Who ever put in two Budd bottle tops HAR…HAR now will that be as funny when Joe’s ear is mailed to SGA in a Tupperware box…I think not!

The Baron has requested old none sequential bills and has asked that I or pg15 meet him for the hand over at a place called Fuel. It is an inconvenience for me to visit this restaurant but if it’s for Joe I will force myself (sniffs and blows nose) sorry about that.

Someone, and I’m not saying who, but you know who you are has put a Scottish 50 pence note in the ransom fund. Not unusual you might say except they don’t have 50 pence notes as tender in Scotland.

And finally if I can take this opportunity to thank everyone for coming together on this mission. It’s good to see we can all put our differences behind us to save what’s his name????

Oh yes our glorious leader Joe Mallozzi.

Pauline (soon to be filthy rich and engaged to the Baron)

PG15 said...

Engaged?! I think not!

I, PG15, shall face the Baron at Fuel and deliver unto him the ransom. After all, I'm not sick, and I'm closer (probably) than you are to this fabulous restaurant. While there, I may also peruse some free food courtesy of my BFF Belcham. T'will be grand night.

Of course, I just hope Belcham remembered that it was Joe who was paying in IOUs, and not me. That guy can whip up a mean risotto, but when it comes to recognizing faces? Forget about it.

Now, all I have to do is find a way to leave the restaurant with my life in tact. After all, I AM meeting the legendary Baron Destructo. Any survival tips?

ptarmigan said...

More Assignments:

AnneTeldy: Our super secret spy! I didn't want to blow your cover while you were doing reconnissaince. Now we need to come up with a new ID for you.

Kdvb1 who is bouncing up and down like a donkey: You were quick to identify Jason Momoa without his dreads, therefore we need you to put on your geek hat and figure out what Joe might look like if forced to wear a disguise.

morgia: We definitely need French speakers! Especially quick-witted ones to distract the dangerous Baron (We still think that's whose got him right ATeldy?) while PG-15 gets the drop on him. You ready?

(Geepers! I'm having English problems! We need a Save-jJoseph-Mallozzi team emeber who can spell, and takers?)

ALL: Ready? Synchronize your watches... 25:26 Atlantis Time... Mark!

Pauline said...

Survival tip number one, keep your hands of my financer I mean fiancé the Baron.

Don’t order the lamb…!

I wouldn’t tell the omnipotent one about the I.O.U’s.

If you chose to accept this mission, we here at Joe’s blog will disavow all knowledge of you and your artificial snow packing thingy.
Good luck pg15

Baroness Pauline

AV eddy said...

PG15 said...[snip]
Now, all I have to do is find a way to leave the restaurant with my life in tact. After all, I AM meeting the legendary Baron Destructo. Any survival tips?


1. Have your flying boots on before entering Fuel.

2. Don't look Baron Destructo or his minions in the eyes - in case they have hypno-powers or Basilisk Gaze.

3. Tip your waiter or waitress. Well.

4. Never ever feed Baron Destructo after midnight. (It makes him gassy.) Try setting up the meeting before 9pm.

Vaya con Dios. If you don't return, we'll avenge your death.

eddy

ptarmigan said...

To the strike force ready to back up PG15:

Sporks at Ready!

And

And...

Pauline said...

It's no good chaps it's 0140hrs GMT here in good old blighty, and things are looking a bit dire.

Don't know how much longer I can hold on...no blog in days.

You'll have to go on without me chaps.

Baroness Pauline

morgia said...

Ok rescue team, Im ready !PG15, Im with you, I cover your back !Joseph on va te sauver !!!

Anonymous said...

Are we going to see the Furlings,in Continuum or in season 5 of Atlantis?

PG15 said...

Don't you worry Pauline; no hands of mine will touch the Baron, lest he slice them off!

*Cue montage of heroic preparation sequence*

I accept the mission. Watch sychronization completed. I'm ready and packing non-sequential bills that I received from Pauline just this minute somehow. Fuel, here I come!

*marches to the nearst bus stop and waits*

Anonymous said...

ptarmigan said...
(Geepers! I'm having English problems! We need a Save-jJoseph-Mallozzi team emeber who can spell, and takers?)


Borderline obsessive grammar and spelling nit-picker at your service! :D

Anonymous said...

Joe,
So happy to see you are alive and well....um...and I guess kidnapped by the Baron. That really puts new meaning to "hoist by your own petard"! (can you believe I worked that phrase into a conversation?..lol)

I actually was a bit worried....I am a worry-wart...I did imagine a few scary scenarios for you and then kicked myself *literally* and told myself to cut it out. Plus my rational, logical side kept telling me that you had to be approving comments so you must be ok!
Quite relieved,
Kimberly

Anonymous said...

Hi Joe

Hope everything is going o.k. Wouldn't want anything to happen to our favorite blogger.. Enjoying the season so far.. When will the next show air? Just finished one of Terry Prachett's books. They are a delight. Also finished the Alchemist. also interesting.. Hope to start one of George martins .. I haven't read any of his at all.. have you read any Ian Rankins?

Anyway hope we all hear from you soon.. Take care

Dori

Anonymous said...

I don't think my Jason Momoa picture link came through so here is it again:

http://tinyurl.com/2c2tgg
The pic is older...not sure when it's taken.

He is WAY too young for me to even look at...but wow...he is a beautiful man!

Admiringly,
Kimberly

Franklin said...

I was sitting here reading the blog and thinking "who needs Joe - we can entertain ourselves" then I realised that somebody had to be authorising/clearing the entries.

The Scottish pugs that I have spoken to say that Joe has not been around.

However Paul McGillion and I want our 50 pence note back if you don't want it.

Anonymous said...

ptarmigan said...
"Kdvb1 who is bouncing up and down like a donkey: You were quick to identify Jason Momoa without his dreads, therefore we need you to put on your geek hat and figure out what Joe might look like if forced to wear a disguise."

I guess I should have been more specific...lol....I meant I was jumping up and down like Donkey in Shrek when he said "Pick me! Shrek, pick me!"....heehee

Ok...here is what I think Joe's disguise looks like:
http://wolfenmoondaughter.deviantart.com/art/Joe-Mallozzi-Supervillain-54703810

It's a picture from our very own WolfenM! She caught that devious Baron dressing Joe up as a villain! Um....or maybe that is really the Baron? Ok...now I'm confused! ;~)

Befuddled, bewildered and perplexed,
Kimberly

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, season 5 will open with Sheppard in the shower, obviously, shirtless, and revealing all of the intimate details . . . .


Of Atlantis bathrooms.


It will alsoo be revealed that certain events of the prior seasons were all . . . . .


Real. Let the Carter/Keller/Weir/Beckett wars continue until half of Gateworld agrees on which ones to keep. As,in a landmark event, half of Gateworld has allegedly been able to agree on something else.

And Starbucks . . .


is NOT coffee.

Anonymous said...

(Geepers! I'm having English problems! We need a Save-jJoseph-Mallozzi team emeber who can spell, and takers?)

I have Spellcheck......

Anonymous said...

Though the Baron is demanding ransom, how do we know he has Joe? What about Ba'al? With his cloning technology, there may be hundreds of human Joes...and unlike having repliJoes, we cant tell which one is the original!

PLoker said...

OMG where in the world is Joe??

Miss your wit.
It's been a LONG, long time since you missed a day. Hope you, Fondy, and the dogs are doing ok.

See you when you get back.
Penny

Jen K said...

Joe-

It just came out today that Terry Prachett has been diagnosed with a rare form of early-onset Alzheimer's disease. Sorry, I know how much you enjoy his work. Hopefully treatment will go well and he can maintain a healthy life for a long time.

Gracey is not my name.... said...

You guys crack me up...very entertaining.

I wish I coulda helped, but alipeeps beat me to the spelling. I'm an awesome speller, people call me all the time to spel wrds for them.......

Seriously as a mostly lurker, and really missing Joe's wit and really tired of all the fighting... you all filled in fantastically.

Just wish I had the snark or the wit to help (alas I am snarkless and at times witless) but I dare any of you to teach to a bunch of 8/9 year olds. Although they are a captive audience..hehehehe

PG15 said...

Come on guys, we've been through this. Just because somebody is approving the comments, it doesn't mean Joe is safe! For all we know, it could be Baron Destructo himself who's doing it! Joe could be dead!!

Well, we'll find out in a moment. I'm outside Fuel, but I'm sure the Baron wants to see me alone. Strike force, stay outside and keep quiet. If I need help, I'll shout the code word:

"Futtock"

Wish me luck!

Anonymous said...

I always thought a nonmetal spork was the "runcible spoon" of The Owl and the Pussycat fame. From Rhymes.org.uk:
The burning question remains, however, what exactly is the runcible spoon referred to in the words of the owl and the pussycat poem? The probable definition of this term is that a runcible spoon is a small fork with three prongs, one having a sharp edge, and curved like a spoon. This spoon is used to eat pickles, etc

Über said...

grapesofwraith said...

Though the Baron is demanding ransom, how do we know he has Joe? What about Ba'al?


Ba'al? As in "bocce"?

Anonymous said...

So it's getting late over here in my neck of the woods. Guessing we're gonna go another day of blogger blocking you from sharing your witty and inspiring comments for yet another day. Guess I'll go watch another episode of B5 instead.

Anonymous said...

Hey, has anyone considered the possibility that Joe might be holding himself hostage in order to get the ransom mondy to pay for all of those IOU's at Fuel?

Also, has anyone thought of poor Fondy in all of this? Shouldn't we be arranging her a care package or something? Perhaps have someone go over to help care for the dogs? That is if they're not all in on it...

Anonymous said...

LOVE that picture of Supervillain Joe Malozzie..LOL@ Evil pug!

AV eddy said...

kdvb1 - you almost killed me with that pic of JMm (as opposed to JMz). YOWZA!!! Are you sure you aren't working for the Baron, trying to distract me from sending in the ARG strike force?????

grapesofwraith said...

Though the Baron is demanding ransom, how do we know he has Joe? What about Ba'al? With his cloning technology, there may be hundreds of human Joes...and unlike having repliJoes, we cant tell which one is the original!


We'll have to send in the dogs. Who's in charge of the puppies while Joe is kidnapped and Fondy is beside herself with worry?

eddy

Anonymous said...

I know this is like WAAAAY down the line, but I was browsing through the news and this is what I found in today's Toronto Star:

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/article/284677

TIFF selects top 10 Canadian feature films of 2007 (in alphabetical order):
1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9
10.Young People F------ : Martin Gero, director

So, my question: is this THE Martin Gero? If so, big fat congrats to Mr. G. Seems we have the cream of the crop working for SGA ;)

Anonymous said...

O Ptarmigan!
What a lucid plan!
Let the Weirdos go all potsy!

Let's grab our sporks
(or foons, you dorks)
And rescue Joe Mallozzi!

---------------

Anonymous said...

btw, should this blog commentary be entered into the Guinness Book of World Records for "Most Comments on one Blog"?

- D.

Anonymous said...

anonymous said, "Hopefully, season 5 will open with Sheppard in the shower, obviously, shirtless, and revealing all of the intimate details . . . ."

can we just leave it there? I've just "thunked" at the thought of it!

Anonymous said...

We are deeply offended that you all seem to think that that loser Baron Destructo and his motley gang of misfits has kidnapped Joe Mallozzi! We are kidnappers, not him!

While we applaud your ill-conceived efforts to mount a rescue operation, you must first look in the right direction. And under the rocks where the Baron's forces hide is not it. Although, I have to say that Baron character would not be above stooping so low as to steal someone else's ransom money to fund his plans for world domination.

So, now that we have it straight as to who actually has this Mallozzi person, we present our list of demands:

1. All of your pocket change. If you don't have any pocket change, we will accept pocket lint instead. However, we will not accept any Scottish 50-pence notes.

2. The final mix of the SGA season finale. (Personally, we thought Mallozzi had it on him, which is the only reason we bothered to nab him in the first place. Unfortunately, he had already passed it on to someone he referred to as "That Rat Marty G" before we silenced him forever. Oops, don't think I was supposed to put that in here. Just pretend you didn't see that, okay?)

3. The identity and location of "That Rat Marty G.", but only if he still has the sacred object in his possession. Physical delivery of TRMG and the sacred object preferred.

4. Ummm . . . let me think . . . um, hmmmmm. Nope, that's all. Oh, wait a minute, how about . . . ? No, that's not it. Errrrr . . . oh, yeah, I remember! A jet, fueled and ready to go, with that Sheppard dude for a pilot. Yeah, that's what we want! [Insert evil laugh here]

Sincerely yours,

Joe'sKidnappers@Yahoo.com



Note from Baron Destructo: People, please! Do you think I and my minions would stoop so low as to sully our hands, tentacles, or whatever else we use as grasping appendages, by kidnapping anyone? Are we not the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil? Note the word "EVIL". We are most definitely NOT the League of Aliens and Mutants for Kidnapping Television Writers/Producers

Further note from Baron Destructo to Joe'sKidnappers@Yahoo.com: We will not forget that "loser" comment, nor the slanderous "rock" comment. We will avenge our honour and our reputation among all evildoers. Watch your back, we're coming for you!

Further note from Baron Destructo to Pauline: Call me. 1-800-EVIL-ONE

Marsha_R said...

PG15 said...

I accept the mission. Watch sychronization completed. I'm ready and packing non-sequential bills that I received from Pauline just this minute somehow. Fuel, here I come!

*marches to the nearst bus stop and waits*


I really think you need to reconsider, PG15. A meeting at Fuel is sooooo obvious. It must be a trap! I tell you, that's not OurJoe. The Baron is using RepliJoe to lure us in... don't go!!!

Anonymous said...

anonymous said:

Are we going to see the Furlings,in Continuum or in season 5 of Atlantis?

We may see them at Fuel, abducting both Joe and Baron Destructo, if the mission doesn't mount up and head out right quick-like.

susan the tartan turtle said:

I was sitting here reading the blog and thinking "who needs Joe - we can entertain ourselves" then I realised that somebody had to be authorising/clearing the entries.

I've been wondering about that myself, and have come to the conclusion that it's time to ask one of The Hard Questions: Namely, are we in fact communicating with a RepliComputer, while Joe has been taken off to the Asuran homeworld for study, so they can learn how to write comedy? (Yes, I know that's a reworking of the well-known ST: TNG secondary storyline about Data learning how to tell jokes, but what can you do.) It could well be that Todd the Wraith and his comrades would engineer such a scheme, in hopes that rather than being deprived of their food sources (via the Replicators' "85% Import Tariff on Live Humans" policy), they can quite literally die laughing - a much more acceptable alternative, especially to the Wraith Princesses ... errr, Queens ... who find hunger "distasteful." (I highly recommend that when they make their way to Earth, they not travel west of Topeka on I-70 at night or on holidays.)

So if the entity responsible for approving comments is in fact a RepliComputer, just be aware that we're on to you, and WE WILL DEAL WITH YOU!!! (just as soon as we can get through to a Microsoft tech rep)

Anonymous said...

YIKES! Are the enemies of the great Baron still locking him out of his own blogger account!? How diabolical!

Come Blogger.com, where's the customer disservice department!?

Anonymous said...

I know its difficult to get fans to agree on anything.

But before you proceed with this ill conceived mission, Heed this advice : Know thy enemy.
Some of you think Joe has been kidnapped by the Baron, others by the enemies of the Baron. Could someone flip a coin ?

Mel said...

@ptarmigan So, um... what is my job exactly? Making sure everyone has a job? Is there a snazzy title that comes with that??

Anonymous said...

Looks like it's time for me to join the forces. As I can't be in the field much (darn school work), I'd be happy to act as a liasion from the Secret Univeral Alliance (SUA), which will pledge to help you in any way we can.
As a suggestion, you could name yourselves "Where in the World is Joseph Mallozzi" or "The Save Joe Mallozzi Campaign"

Joshua Meyers said...

IS it possible one of the duplicates survived? and there wasn't any "My people have vanished." from Repli_Teyla, which would have killed the episode, so very nicely done.

I think that Repli_dEX, would have survived, because there was only four replicators, and he probably could have stunned them with his gun and got away...just. No?

Anonymous said...

No blog - Part 2?

You OK - The Cliffhanger?

Kimberlee said...

Hi Joe
I was just sitting here watching Tabula Rasa and i was thinking, would/will Katie ever remember her team member (research partner) dying? Still love the show!! Love all the characters new and old! Especially the one that is coming back in Feb.!!! thanks Joe

Joseph Mallozzi said...

Wow! Over 250+ comments and counting. And, if I'm reading my site meter stats correctly, almost 5000 visits today. I'm averaging 1500 more visits when I'm blogging than when I'm not. Cleary, I've overthought this whole blog thing.

Well, another day another non-entry. So far as you guys are go because I have continued to blog and have now banked two fascinating entries, the first on my blogger problems, the second on my mother's upcoming visit. They'll all go up once blogger sees fit to letting me back at it. Whenever that is.

JM

Anonymous said...

Oh good, the blog isn't working (well, not good but....). I was starting to think your picture was going to show up on a milk carton or something (which would have been bad). Hope the blogging thing starts working again soon, good luck!

Joseph Mallozzi said...

No, pictures on milk cartons but search and rescue personnel are distributing copies of a beautiful watercolor self-portrait I completed last November.

In the meantime, I am killing time here at L.A.M.E. headquarters. You know, come to think of it, it could be the Baron's wireless hook-up. I'll have Glaxnor the Miscreant look into it.

Anonymous said...

We're gonna have to call this "pulling a Hewlett" -- getting us all hooked on your scintillating wit, and then leaving us high and dry, hitting 'refresh' on and on, in futility. First there is the 'excuse' of a new baby, now the blogger won't work. What's a fan to do?!?

Hope things clear up for you (I'm close to giving up on Baz growing up and letting DH back on his computer, I'm afraid!). We miss you!

Joseph Mallozzi said...

I miss me too.

Anonymous said...

Shucks, looks like I missed your return Joe. (Anyone still interested, the Secret Universal Alliance will be ready for the next crisis) Nice to hear from you, and I'm eargly awaiting the next flood of entries!

Anonymous said...

"ptarmigan said...
Okay guys, we need to get organized to rescue Joe.
(Mel, did I miss anyone?)"

Um, I think you missed alot of epople.

Joseph Mallozzi said...

Yes, I would like to make special mention of the Secret Universal Conglomerate Kinship Alliance of Solicitous Souls who are spearheading the efforts to return me to Earth.

Joseph Mallozzi said...

I too miss a lot of people. Each an every one of you. Especially the grouchy ones.

Anonymous said...

anon, good nurse said

So if the entity responsible for approving comments is in fact a RepliComputer, just be aware that we're on to you, and WE WILL DEAL WITH YOU!!! (just as soon as we can get through to a Microsoft tech rep)


Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Anonymous said...

Will Sam be in the Stargate Atlantis season four finale? Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Silver said...
I know its difficult to get fans to agree on anything.

But before you proceed with this ill conceived mission, Heed this advice : Know thy enemy.
Some of you think Joe has been kidnapped by the Baron, others by the enemies of the Baron. Could someone flip a coin ?


Okay, I flipped a coin. Got tails. Now what?

Joseph Mallozzi said...

I can't even reach a real live blogger rep. And no wonder. I actually visited their offices today and was horrified to discover their tech support department is staffed by chimps. Perhaps not smart enough to help me deal with my problem, but surprisingly smart enough to direct me to a door at the end of the hall that turned out to be the exit. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Joshua Meyers said...

DETOX is HARD!!!!!!
Thank god I never had to go to rehab for my Joe M addiction.
On second thought I think I should seek professional medical councilling, because well, lets face it...I have an unhealthy obsession with your blog...but there aren't any blog rehabilitation centres.

Oh well, I'll try the Betty Ford clinic.

Anonymous said...

"anon, good nurse said
So if the entity responsible for approving comments is in fact a RepliComputer, just be aware that we're on to you, and WE WILL DEAL WITH YOU!!! (just as soon as we can get through to a Microsoft tech rep)"

Uh huh, good luck with that (it's not going to happen).

Joseph Mallozzi said...

Sam in the finale = yes.

Tails = vacationing in Albania with Aloysius P. Hazzencockle. Not a kangaroo or koala in sight.

K8T said...

*kicks blogger* Work darn you!

I've come to the sad realization that I'm addicted to this blog. I keep clicking on refresh hoping for an update. And coming away disappointed every time.

Joe, once the search team rescues you and manage to bring you back to Earth. Can you send them my way? Please save me from final exam hell...

-Katie

Joshua Meyers said...

Joe, you could always post your face book blog. Or you could use my blog, send me the stuff anf I'll post it...because let's face it, no one visits my blog. Poor old me.:(

poundpuppy29 said...

Joe I hope you are complaining to Blogger. Are there Ark of Truth tidbits in your entries that you can't post. I do know you lurk on GW my ? is do you even venture into the ship threads or the character threads and or games or do just stick to the general threads like ep discussion. I miss you too I love your blog it always make me laugh.

Anonymous said...

"Joseph Mallozzi said...
Sam in the finale = yes."

Cool, thanks for answering.

Joshua Meyers said...

I've just been released from the Betty Forde clinic, now all I need to do is find a computer and not visit your blog...too late.

Oh, back to Betty's. Hey look, it's Lindsay Lohan...woops, she relapsed.

Anonymous said...

Long Live Joe

Remember when Joe would update everyday? Ah those were the good old days.

:: pours expensive wine on the ground in Joe’s Blog’s honor::


Yup that is going to leave a stain

Joseph Mallozzi said...

According to blogger, the problem should be resolved - within four working days. I was kind of hoping the matter would be resolved by today but, alas, they haven't gotten around to it. Much more important things to attend to (ie. the season finale of Kid Nation).

Joseph Mallozzi said...

Well, it's way past my bedtime. While it's almost 10:30 p.m. Pacific Standard Time and 1:30 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, here on the moon it's a little after tomorrow's upside-down midnight. So, pleasant dreams.

Joshua Meyers said...

Joe, I'm an Aussie, so what exactly are you trying to say? I'm no nice Canadian, I'll fight you man...but when you accidentally kill me...sought of, in our street fight, can you do my uligy?

PG15 said...

Well guys, the Baron didn't show, so I used the ransome money for a big feast at Fuel. Hope you guys are alright with that. I sure am.

And I do remember packing a doggy bag for the strike force waiting outside, but I appear to have ate the contents. How strange.

But wait, what's this? Joe? You're alive? Oh thank the Ancients! Hmmm...it appears the SUCKASS have totally sucked ass and as yet did not inform me of this new development while I had my glorious feast.

So guys, Joe is on the moon and we have to somehow break into LAME's moonbase and get him out and back here, safely, and without wrinkling his suit.

Any ideas? Or better, anybody with a cousin working at NASA?

Joshua Meyers said...

I want to see Sheppard really crying, really down, really depressed, and for a matter of fact Ronon and McKay too, and I want you to go further than painful flashback memories(ie. Seteda), I want some real believable emotion, not them trying to be strong all the time. I know It's a scifi show, but that doesn't mean you can't have a little Bold and the Beautiful.

Kolya's brother= Ridge Forester.

Joshua Meyers said...

Are we ever going to find out if Ronon had any family? Not really been discussed, but don't tell me Ronon got to be a strong fighter by playing hackysack with his friends, instead of wrestling with his brothers.

K8T said...

4 Working days!?!? So assuming that they start working on it tomorrow (Thursday) that makes it day one... assuming they don't work weekends...that means we have to wait till Tuesday?

Joshua Meyers I'll join you in Betty Ford.

Hummm I wonder if I can get out of my exam tomorrow morning on the grounds of severe psychological distress due to blog withdrawal...yeah they would buy that. :P

-Katie

Joshua Meyers said...

Good night...btw Kid NAtion is pethetically awesome, and I wish I could be on that Television show.

Actually I wish to discuss my reality television show idea with you.

Basically it's like survivor, the people get food and drink,a nd they have like an ummn base or land, and they have to go cut down trees and make a base'like structure and then they have a weekend or something where they have to go and attack another tribe or group.

They actually have to cut down trees and haul ass back to their camp/land/pastiers, to build stuff and they can only have limited supplies.

Good Idea, no?

I could explain it a bit more if you like.?

Joshua Meyers said...

Good night

Anonymous said...

How do we even know that you are the real Joe? You could be a duplicate or even a replicator. As the self proclaimed doctor of the rescue mission (someone needs to be ready to fix any accidental spork injuries), you will need to be fully scanned before we bring you back to earth.

morgia said...

Ok , are you sur its the real Malozzi answers now ? Because its could be a trap...

Anonymous said...

BTW Joe, I didn't say this earlier but when I saw that there was no blog for the 11th, I'm sad to report that my thought was, "That Slacker!". I apologize for not realizing that you had been kidnapped. I can't tell you what a relief it was to find that out! My faith in you has been restored.

Now if only the rescue party can figure out where on the moon you are and who really has you - the Baron or Joe'sKidnappers.

majorsal said...

sam in finale = yes.

me = happy!

joe not blogging for another 4 days = !

me = NOOO!

so, joe, i'm missing the original team in 'house' and i'm not caring for the current season of 'my name is earl'. i adore the joy character, but i think the writer is forcing her into scenes and eps and hurting the show. in fact, the entire season is... forced i guess. thoughts on the matter(s)?



sally :D

Jenny Robin said...

It sounds to me like you rather enjoy the quasi-real-time-banter of the comments section. Methinks you'll be using phrases such as l8r g8r very soon.

Anonymous said...

PG, who's been playing with his flocking again said...



Come on guys, we've been through this. Just because somebody is approving the comments, it doesn't mean Joe is safe! For all we know, it could be Baron Destructo himself who's doing it! Joe could be dead!!

Well, we'll find out in a moment. I'm outside Fuel, but I'm sure the Baron wants to see me alone. Strike force, stay outside and keep quiet. If I need help, I'll shout the code word:

"Futtock"

Wish me luck!


PG? You been sniffing your flocking again, or, shudder, eating it? Or have your finals overloaded your brain? Lol!

If Joe's dead, will he be coming back as a clone or RepliJoe? Well, nobody dies in scifi you know, and I'm sure that includes people who write or executive produce it...

I see the Joe@yahookidnappers are making extremely reasonable demands. I think, Joe, you should give them all what they want...and then they can pass it all on to me! Especially the handsome pilot...yeah, I'm going now.

Hope Blogger sorts itself out soon. :)

Anonymous said...

*ROTFLMAO*

Thank you EVERYONE, for the most entertaining comments I've read...I'm laughing almost as much from the shenanigans here as singing in "Not the Messiah"...

(he's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!)

BTW, Joe...when the blog-bots finally do relinquish their despotic stranglehold on your blogability generator, are you gonna throw all (5? 6?) days' worth in all at once, or do two a day?

Edward4th said...

well this is shite! Who do these blogger people think they are to deny the world your scintillating wit and wry comments? Not to mention my mornings have been remarkably Groundhog Day-like since monday.Tell me where they live and I'll get 'em. Better yet, let cookie monster deal with them!
Still its good to know that you're missing you as well LOL.
Now where did I put my bar of dark chocolate covered marzipan?

Anonymous said...

Awww, no Joe still. Nice to see you updating with comments, though. Hope the Secret Universal Conglomerate Kinship Alliance of Solicitous Souls gets you off the moon soon and back to blogging!

PS, while I haven't yet joined SUCKASS due to time constraints, I'll be sure to have a spork ready should the Baron decide to bring his fight down to earth!

Titan Grrl said...

It's funny, I was just looking for some lecture notes yesterday when I came across my old spork collection. It is quite wide and varied, but alas there is no metal, how futile...

However I and my sporks of many non-metal materials will be at hand to participate in any further rescue missions if needs be.

Sorry to hear about your blogger troubles Joe.. moon broadband has been problematic from the start... over 7 complaints were logged within the first day of service (that's 13% of the moon's non-evil popoulation!). Between you and me, I think MOL (MarsOnLine) are going to nudge them out of the market...

Mary

Annie said...

4 working days?????? aaaaaaaghnooooo!!!

Oh as for no kangaroos in sight, they're all getting ready for Santa's Aussie run here. See he uses kangas instead of reindeer as it gets too hot and anyway, the Kangaroo sleigh union get upset if he uses the deer here.

Rolf Harris sang about the lucky roos who pull the sleigh. (Six White Boomers song)..

Aren't we Aussies a strange bunch (who don't get bigger roles in SGA hint hint ..) "Crikey those Wraith are buggahs hey? Strewth.. danger danger danger".

Anonymous said...

salut joe,
Es ce possible que la vrai weir est toujours vivante retenu par les replicateurs?
je pensais que torri allait apparaitre dans 4 épisodes mais se n'est pas le cas pourquoi?

etes-vous dèjà allé en France à part Paris? connaissaz-vous l'oeust de la France et ces régions?

avez-vous dèjà mangé un couscous algérien? c'est très bon ma mère fait les meilleurs couscous au monde hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!

Annie said...

Me again...

Hey! You're holding out on us! Didn't know you had a grandson. Lord Destructo. He mentions you though.. called you a nutjob.

I think you'd better have a word..

http://tomtasticvoyage.blogspot.com/2007/02/last-stand-of-lord-destructo_23.html

Anonymous said...

Joe, what exactly is the problem, are you just locked out? Is blogger having a server problem?

Too bad you can't directly link to pictures here! But, let these amuse you until they fix you're account, i think you'll find them rather enjoyable... Do check them out, i promise, you'll like them.

Apathy?
Customer Care?
Customer Disservice?
Plain Ole Disservice?


Something to keep those actors and writers in line:

Worth?
Sacrifice?
Intimidation?
Get to Work!
Destiny?
Demotivation?
Arrogance?


Something for those annoying commenters:

Cluelessness?
Idiocy?


A little something for the writers and employees:

Ignorance?
Meetings?
Planning?
Quality?
Retirement?
Teamwork?


And my personal favorites:

Problems?
Power!
Pressure!
Wishes?

I have this lithograph on my office wall:

Pretension?


And you can see all bazillion of them here.


Let me know what you thought of them Joe ;).

Anonymous said...

While we all wait for Joe's blog to be fixed, I will serenade you with an SGA carol. Ahem..*clears throat*

I’m dreaming of a white Atlantis,
Just like the ones we have at home,
Where the icicles glisten,
And Teyla and Ronon listen,
To Earth stories of long ago,

I’m dreaming of a white Atlantis,
With every girl I see John kiss,
May our Rodney be snarky and bright,
And may we always win every fight,

I’m dreaming of a white Atlantis,
Just like the ones we have at home,
Where the icicles glisten,
And Teyla and Ronon listen,
To Earth stories of long ago,

I’m dreaming of a white Atlantis,
With every girl I see John kiss,
May our Rodney be snarky and bright,
And may we always win every fight!

There are many more like that made up by goofy...um I mean wonderful fans:

http://tinyurl.com/2xu3uc

Stop by if you are bored! lol

Melodiously, (not to be confused with malodorously)
Kimberly

Amy Lynn said...

Alas, I was wonder too what was up. Glad to know it wasn't serious. But now you have a bit more time to enjoy chocolate and your side gig of ruling the world. :)

Anonymous said...

In case of future rescue attempts I'm available to fly the puddlejumper for the team (the cloak could come in handy). I can't believe no one thought of the get to/get away vehicle.

Anyway, enjoy your stay in the L.A.M.E. headquarters on the moon, Joe. (Hope they don't deprive you of the desserts out of the TV dinners they feed you. Oh, wait. That would be EVIL of them wouldn't it? Silly me.)

Anonymous said...

4 days? 4 days!! I've only been reading this blog for a week and I'm hooked. Why couldn't I just get addicted to a drug of some sort like a normal person? Instead, it's this blog. Well Joshua Meyers, with Joe's side of the world going to sleep, it looks like it's up to us GMT+10hr people to continue the rescue mission.

firefly827347 said...

Argh! I'm going insane without my blog fix! Noooooo!

...

What's that, you say? I was already insane?

...

Aw, nuts.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh! no Dec 12 entry either due to blogger technical malaise... 4 days!!! *best Conehead voice* Unacceptable !@@!

Once again happy to see Joe M's latest comments at the bottom, I'm getting pretty good at reading while scrolling UP.
DD

Amz said...

Joe, it's nice to know everything's reasonably ok and the blogging problem is, well, blogger related.

I've been away for a couple of days, and when I sat down catch up on your blog and saw December 10 was the latest, I started to wonder if someone named Frederique had conspired against you and your blog. Glad to hear that isn't the case.

Yasmin said...

Joseph Mallozzi said...
I too miss a lot of people. Each an every one of you. Especially the grouchy ones.

I knew you like drama! Are you sure you don't want to write a drama sometime here? This blog alone must provide you with enough repressed anger material?

I am sorry blogger is giving you hell. No matter what PG15 says, it's all his fault. I have a theory that it's his visits & comments that snapped the fine thread.

Anonymous said...

Does this somewhat accurately explain why there aren't two Teal'c's after Unending?

"The reason that there aren't two Teal'c's is that they were in a time dilation field (explained further below). What happened was this: Pretend you are watching a video where everyone gets older (or pretend you are watching 'Unending' :) ). At the beginning of the video everyone is twenty. At the end, everyone is fifty. Now rewind the video, but watch it on the TV while it is rewinding. Everyone is getting younger, right? That's the Time Dilation Field, going forward and back in time. In the episode the way they reverse the field is by using the Ori beam as energy. Someone has to stay old, so that he or she (it ends up being Teal'c) can tell original Sam to not start up the Time Dilation field in the first place. The reason that there aren't two Teal'c's is that old Teal'c, after choosing to be the one to stay old and give the crystal (that separates the Asgard info from their hyperdrive) to original Sam, stays in a shield/this thingamajig will not allow you to unage device, while everything in the field reverses (AKA the video rewinds). He then stops Sam from starting the device (essentially spliting into a alternate reality). So, in a nutshell, when they start the device everyone ages, when they reverse it everybody unages, except Teal'c, who was in a shield/field that didn't allow him to unage and when he ended up in the original timeline he keeps Sam from starting the Time Dilation Field, which then splits them off into a different reality then the one where they all aged. So Teal'c is now fifty years older and remembers everything that happened in 'Unending' but nobody else does because when he stopped her from starting the device they split off into a new, different reality."

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I know someone further up left a comment about the sad news about author, Terry Pratchett. Here’s a link to his website where he explains his condition: Terry Pratchett has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease. The good news: there's no immediate danger, he's still optimistic, and he's got more work in progress.

Philly said...

You know the internet is seriously broken when Joseph Mallozzi isn't blogging.

Franklin said...

Why don't we all just stick to Atlantis time - synchronise watches etc.

I am off for my afternoon cat-nap with the kitties.

Anonymous said...

Hi Joe !

I kind of miss you and your little stories. Hurry up blogger. ;)

See you soon

Pauline said...

pg15 said...
If I need help, I'll shout the code word:

"Futtock"

pg15 where the 'Futtock' are you?

Don't have me come over there and find you young man!!!

Never ask a man to do a woman's job!

Okay I admit it I was tempted by the dark side, the Baron has many brain washing techniques one of which was a quick 30' wash and a quick fluff up.

And let me tell you for an evil despot that man can fluff with the best of them ;)

And as that ancient Latin saying goes...

Aio, quantitas magna frumentorum est



'Yes, that is a very large amount of corn'

Come home JM all is forgiven!!

Pauline (no longer affiliated to the Baron or his money)

Unknown said...

Yes, I would like to make special mention of the Secret Universal Conglomerate Kinship Alliance of Solicitous Souls who are spearheading the efforts to return me to Earth.

No offense Joe, but I wouldn't trust anything to an organization named S.U.C.K.A.S.S. :D

And I'm just glad you're alive and the pugs (and one goofy little French Bulldog) haven't eaten you.

Anonymous said...

Joe must be away still stuck on monday dec 10th

Anonymous said...

((((((Joe)))))))) Glad to see that you have managed to escape your kidnappers and get a few messages out to us.
I would love to join your rescue party but my boss prefers that I stay here and finish this mountain of filing. You can't say I didn't try. ; )

Looking forward to your safe return. : )

Anonymous said...

I simply cannot believe you people still think that the Baron has Mallozzi! Perhaps you thought we were joking when we said we had him. Is that it? Well I'm here to tell you that we are deadly serious. THIS IS NO JOKE! We have your Idol of Snark stuffed in a shoebox in the back of the closet, and we need to get rid of him. Says he's a "chocoholic", whatever that is, and he's been without for "Two Whole Days!" His whining is really getting on my nerves!

His constant crying and wailing and beating on the shoebox are going to make me lose it! He keeps complaining about what will happen to his wife, Fondy, and his kids, Bubba, Maximo, Jelly, and Lulu. To be honest, I think his wife will inherit everything he has, and his kids will thank us. Especially that Jelly kid. What a thing to name your own flesh and blood! Bubba and Maximo are bad enough, but Jelly?! That poor child!

Anyway, to prove how serious we are, we've cut it off and mailed it to his place of work. [*What? What body part did we cut off??! I can't believe you asked that! We're kidnappers, not savages! We cut off his tie!! It was silk, you know. They're not cheap, and it can't be fixed. It's a goner.*] *Shakes head mumbling about whumpers. Whump this guy, whump that guy, whump anyone and anything. Sheesh!*

Now, back to our regularly scheduled ransom demands. That new guy that left the first ransom note? That VERY new guy? The dolt forgot to leave the drop off instructions for the ransom. *Amateur!* So, without further ado, here are the drop off instructions:

1. Hop a bus down to Granville street and brave the Christmas shopping mob at Pacific Centre for no less than one (1) hour.

2. After you have finished your Christmas shopping, walk, don't run, down to Hastings Street and catch a bus to the Main Street depot. DO NOT TAKE THE SKYTRAIN! Make certain that you have that Sheppard guy with you at this point. Very important! Cuff him and drag him along if you have to.

3. Take the shuttle bus to the airport and drop off the Sheppard guy so he can ready our getaway jet. IMPORTANT NOTE: No, and I mean NO, whumpers are to be included in the delivery crew. Don't want our getaway pilot messed up before we even leave the ground.

4. Next take the shuttle bus back to the bus depot and find the nearest car rental agency. Rent a car. (Or a truck, or van, or SUV. Whatever, we really don't care what you rent as long as it runs.)

5. Brave the wilds of Lower Mainland traffic to Horseshoe Bay. Once there, head north to Whistler, taking your life in your hands along the Sea to Sky Highway, braving the roadwork the entire way. When you reach Whistler, go skiing. ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE: You are NOT to use any of the ransom to pay for your lift tickets. Come to think of it, you are not to use any of the ransom money for anything, we want it.

6. When you finish skiing at Whistler, drive back to Vancouver, stopping at Cypress Bowl in North Vancouver along the way for some more skiing. Then go to Grouse Mountain, take the Skyride up, purchase lift tickets (with your own money!) and go to the top. Do some more skiing.

7. When you have gotten the skiing out of your system, take the ransom to Deer Lake Park in Burnaby and throw any Scottish 50-pence notes into the lake.

8. Go to the main post office in Vancouver on West Georgia Street. Purchase a box of suitable size and package the ransom (less those pesky Scottish 50-pence notes) in it. Label the box as follows:

Joe'sKidnappers@Yahoo.com
c/o Rusty Nail Pub
Kidnapper's Mews
Surrey, BC V3R 4T1

Make sure you send it by ExpressPost so it doesn't get lost. It is December, after all. We'll be waiting.

9. When we have the ransom and have made our getaway (again, no whumpers are to be nearby), we will call the phone booth at Coquitlam Centre, the one located at the main entrance, and tell you where the shoebox is. We will then provide the whumpers with our ransom demands for that Shepperd guy. I KNOW they'll pay BIG MONEY to get their hands on him! [Insert evil laugh]

One more thing, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT call the RCMP, the VPD, CSIS, or any other alphabet soup agency, or we'll do something. I don't know what, but it'll be something.

Anticipating greedily,

Joe'sKidnappers@Yahoo.com


**Was that okay, Baron?**

Anonymous said...

I know you CLAIM it’s Blogger’s fault. But I have my doubts. I wonder if no more blog entries is your way of showing support of the writer’s strike? Please Joe, don’t go on strike. We love you! Or are you doing this on purpose because you are secretly hoping for a campaign? After Daniel/Michael, Janet/Teryl, Carson/Paul, Weir/Torri all got campaigns- are you jealous? Feeling left out? Want to feel the warm fuzziness of people in outrage, demanding to get their way, all in your name?

Anonymous said...

Reading the comments for this (yes, I actually read all of them) was nice procrastination. I had this 11 page paper looming over my head that's due later today and needed to put it off. Reading almost 300 comments was nice and relaxing.

I haven't laughed so hard in a while. So thanks for being entertaining guys!

p.s. I did get my paper finished, too.

Dee in South Africa said...

One wonders - if we all post a comment - if we can manage to beat the world record for the most comments posted on a blog.

Is there such a record? Can we legally beat it, seeing as Blogger is down?

Would Guinness be interested?

Would we be interested in Guinness?

** No Joe, put that glass down, you're meant to be kidnapped, remember?

Charles Schneider said...

Sorry to hear about all the problems. Here's a cheer for making this the most commented on post in the history of your blog so far!

Thanks for stepping in too, I'm sure everyone (including the grouches) were happy to hear that the problem is purely technical.

Anonymous said...

Hi Joe,

When Daniel comes to Atlantis will there be any scenes with McKay so we can who really is the fastest talker?

Anonymous said...

I enjoy reading your blog. Hope to see new entries soon. I enjoyed This Mortal COil, particularly the McKay/Zelenka interaction and the "Oh, Crap." Perhaps that's where Hermiod learned the phrase?

Jade said...

So THIS is where everyone is LOL! I was just about to have a panic attack at there still being no post and then it occured to me. A tiny little voice said, "check the comments" SO I did and here I am. So after an hour and many snorts, laughs and giggles I am FINALLY caught up and back in the loop.

Alipeeps said...

What do you MEAN it's not REAL?!!!

*panics*


LMAO *Has the same reaction and hands you a paper bag to breath in*

ALSO Alipeeps said...

I've seen the sans dreads hairdo for like a fraction of a second... but sadly can provide no photographic evidence as Jason whipped his hat back on before anyone could raise a camera and then proceeded to tease us by taking the hat off and putting it on again very quickly!


Even without a picture, it was still a very entertaining telling of the almost seeing! LOL!

And FINALLY I want in on the rescue! I can provide the get away vehicle!

Toni said...

Emily said:
Has anyone ever seen a spork not made of plastic?


You can actually buy a Titanium Spork from ThinkGeek.com. The spork for the truly geeky.

Anonymous said...

I guess being kidnapped is a good way to figure out how many people like you enough to miss you. Maybe I should try that. Then again, how I would I feel if no one noticed? :) j/k.

Here's hoping blogspot fixes the problem soon! Going onto the computer in the evening and not seeing a new entry is NOT natural.

RebeccaH said...

To be honest, I despise Blogger (AND Blogspot). They've locked me out more times than I care to say, and I usually had to open a whole new account. I hope you'll give thought to moving your blog to Wordpress or Typepad, or criminy, even frickin' xanga would be better.

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, I look away for a couple of days and this is what happens! Joe gets kidnapped, or killed, or has computer problems... And that's just from skimming a few comments!

Actually, I bribed Lulu to bring in some snow and dump it on the computer as I was busy the last couple of days and couldn't *bear* the thought of other people enjoying Joe's blog when I couldn't...

Either that, or it's the Ori like has been suggested... Will Joe return as a Prior?

morgia said...

Hé ! Rescue team, Im glad to see Joseph is alive, but is he safe ?Last night, I was with the cover back PG15 commando outside Fuel, but like PG15 mentionned, Baron was not at the rendez-vous. Grrr...Im happy to see we have more members in the rescue team: bienvenue Dr. Amyfo and Jade can provide the get away vehicle and jumperpilot for drive!.

After the failed mission, a stranger give me a letter in french. It’s like the Joseph kidnappers are more powerfull we thought at firts time... More darck and dangerous.
The informations I have is.... Ho, wait a minute someone knock at the door.

-Yes, may I help you ?
-....
-What? Qui êtes-vous ? La lettre ? I dont know anything...
...

ptarmigan said...

*regains consciousness, spork still in hand*

Where is everyone? What happened?

*blinks and looks around empty Vancouver warehouse, thoroughly confused*

Joe wasn’t at Fuel?

*pauses to rub spork shaped bruise on back of head*

Joe’s been relocated to the moon?! Hmmm.

*wanders off in the direction of what appears to be a curb-side bake sale*

Anonymous said...

PG15
I and my 10 heavily armed mercenary colleagues are at your command.
Where do you want us?
Can we shoot something?

Anonymous said...

"Especially the grouchy ones."

Oh boy ! You miss a lot of people !

Poor Joe !

I wish that the ransom will be paid
quickly

♥ANAIS♥ said...

○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥
○♥○♥○♥○♥○
♥○♥○
○♥


Hello Joseph!

quoi??????? ahhhhhhhhh X[
sa ne remarche toujour pas!!!!
il ne va pas falloir attendre 4 jours quand même!! Nanannnnnnn c'est pas possible!!!

Pour protésté Je vais Faire un grêve de la faim!!!!
Nan, ils leurs faut du temp pour remettre sa!! graaaa!!!!!!
Ze veux mon jojo!! ze veux!! ouinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!
Vous me manquez trop!!!!!!
Je vient d'envoyer un sms a plusieur flotes goauld et a des vaisseaux ruche, ils sont en routes vers le siege de blogspot!!!
Ahhhhhhh je prit pour que demain sa remarche!!! Snif ='(!!!!!

Ah aussi, je souhaite à votre maman un futur bon voyage a Vancouver =)

ps: n'oublier pas ma question que je vous est précédament posez!!

Gros Gros Kiss, je vous love trop, vous me manquez, je pensse fort a vous, a demain <333


○♥
♥○♥○
○♥○♥○♥○♥○
○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥○♥

Anonymous said...

OH GOOD GRIEF!!! I go away for a couple of days to do some honest work (you know, the type that doesn't make your hand shake when you put it out for your pay) and JoeM gets himself into all sorts of strife.

And I thought I was "annoyed" or other such synonyms, that Loki is mucking around with the weather computer again.

Hot and clear; hot & overcast; hot, overcast & trying to rain; hot & damp; cool & damp; cool & wet; wet & cold - and that was just Wednesday. Now the wether dial is stuck on wet & cold :S

Aanonymous said...
Hopefully, season 5 will open with Sheppard in the shower, obviously, shirtless, and revealing all of the intimate details . . .


*sigh, faint* OH HAPPY DAYS!!!! Now I can go to work (both jobs today) and be happy in my work :)

"John Shepard is at my place - Happy!!"

*giggles*

*blushes* sorry!!*

Anonymous said...

An' dinnae come running tae us fer yer ransom money either. We spent all oor hard earned (and recently printed) cash sending letters tae save pair wee Carson.

We donated (via Paul McGillion and some crazy wummin) a 50 pence note - then sumbuddy noticed that it wisnae legal tender. Bah!

Fae all yer wee Tartan Pugs. wuuf!

Anonymous said...

www.sixtyroundsasecond.com said...
PG15
I and my 10 heavily armed mercenary colleagues are at your command.
Where do you want us?
Can we shoot something?


Oohhh! Can I help, too? I have lots of sharp things I'd like to try out on those nefarious kidnappers!

Anonymous said...

I've just finished watching "This Mortal Coil"... and I want to say this: I HATE YOU... I HATE YOU for murdering the real heart and soul of Atlantis. Dr Elizabeth Weir. Carter is just frelling usurper, she doesn't belong there, it's not her place. Seeing AT's name in the main credits is just wrong, but it was great she wasn't in the episode. And you don't feel her absence at all, which means you don't really need Carter, because she doesn't belong there like Dr Weir does. You need Dr Weir. Bring back Torri Higgingson as the main character.

Anonymous said...

Sadly, amazon Canada finally put up the listing for the Ark of Truth DVD. It's got a pre-ordered $26.59 price. WTF! I expected a HD-DVD or Blu-Ray DVD at this price. It will be cheaper if you order from amazon America even with their outrageous International shipping rates. Amazon America pre-order price for The Ark of Truth is $18.99!

This is just like the Doctor Who boxed sets that are $30 more from amazon Canada than amazon America, it the same product with a different box sleeve.

Boycott amazon Canada until they price their product more reasonably. Not with a 20 to 30 percent mark up for greed!

Emily said...

Joe Mallozzi said:

I can't even reach a real live blogger rep. And no wonder. I actually visited their offices today and was horrified to discover their tech support department is staffed by chimps. Perhaps not smart enough to help me deal with my problem, but surprisingly smart enough to direct me to a door at the end of the hall that turned out to be the exit. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

Well, at least they didn't throw feces at you. You gotta look on the bright side of things.

Anonymous said...

ptarmigan! Oh no you seem to have a spork related injury! Let me investigate.
Please take a seat. Hmm... oh my... Ok ptarmigan, it's pretty bad but I have seen this before so you are in luck. There is only one known cure. You must eat Wen Chocolates, watch 2 episodes of Stargate Atlantis, and call me in the morning.

firefly827347 said...

Right, now that I've successfully procrastinated away the last hour by wading through all 344 comments, I really should get some revision done for my maths exam tomorrow... (is 9:20pm a good time to start revision?)

Can I get in on the rescue efforts too?

Val Hutchins said...

It is amazing how being deprived of something will make you appreciate it so much more. I never realized how much I enjoyed this blog until now when I, and the rest of you, have had to go days without.

The sad thing is that reading this blog every night for past year (about) is one of the most consistent things in my life.

On that note, we need another spoiler poem, that is what introduced me, and I am sure many others, to this blog in the first place.

Anonymous said...

anjirika said...

To JoeM and the other powers that be, of course I don't wish that you'd all be fired- but I do wish that you would step up and admit your mistake of getting rid of Elizabeth and Carson.



OK....Clearly Joe and company do NOT believe it was a mistake to get rid of Elizabeth and Carson. Why on earth should they step up and admit something they do not believe just because you and xx number of other fans believe it?

Jade said...

www.sixtyroundsasecond.com said...
PG15
I and my 10 heavily armed mercenary colleagues are at your command.


Ok Looks like I will need to provide a very large form of transportation...*plots further*

Anonymous said...

OH no, where are you? Honestly thought something happened to you. I'm glad all is well.

Jen K said...

Joe-

Paul McGillion was cast in a role in JJ Abrams' 'Star Trek'. Not Scotty like it should have been, but still very awesome. Just spreading the good news!!!

Edward4th said...

Holy Hold-up Batman, what or rather who is responsible for this reprehensible communications blackout? Could it be *pause for dramatic affect* a breakaway faction of the League of Supervillains?

firefly827347 said...

...I've still not started my maths revision you know. It's now 10:46pm. Oopsie.

Anonymous said...

Well I for one don't belong to the Secret Universal Conglomerate Kinship Alliance of Solicitous Souls as I wouldn't belong to an organization with an acronym of S.U.C.K.A.S.S.!

But I do belong to:
Brainy Intellectuals to Take with Expediency Mallozzi to Earth! It has a much better acronym! ;~P

Insultingly,
Kimberly

Anonymous said...

a. loquita said...
Or are you doing this on purpose because you are secretly hoping for a campaign? After Daniel/Michael, Janet/Teryl, Carson/Paul, Weir/Torri all got campaigns- are you jealous? Feeling left out? Want to feel the warm fuzziness of people in outrage, demanding to get their way, all in your name?


*rushed over to GW and LJ to start "Save Joe Mallozzi" campaign*

Righto. I need volunteers to paint banners and design t-shirts. And does anyone know where we should be sending the threatening/pleading letters and targeting the spam mail (I'm thinking chocolates this time around?) campaign? :D

Anonymous said...

Ok so I think I finally figured out what has happened to Joe.

You know that time loop that was responsible for the second thursday and the repeat november? Well it has struck again. Joe is stuck on December 10th ala Groundhog Day, but it only affects him. So he continues to approve comments but is increasingly confused by the mad rantings about kidnappers and ransom demands. Makes sense, no?

Now does anyone have an anti-time loop machine? I need my Joe-fix soon or my heart might stop working.

P.S. Has anyone been in contact with Guiness re the comments on a single blog entry record? If not, you definitely should, Joe. It might make you famous...it might even get you a job, oooh :D

PG15 said...

Yes! More members. Sorry for the absence my friends, but duty (Physics exam) called!

Now, I have recieved instructions from Joe's kidnappers. Their name? Now wouldn't you guess, it's "Joe's kidnappers". Also, it seems that they were writing down everything they were thinking at the time, because at the end they basically told us that they are only puppets of Baron Destructo! Not only that, but they have a means of communicating with him!

Hey! Half a tie...NOOOOOO!!!!

Wait...stand by, I am receiving a message.

Ok, jumperpilot and Jade has informed me, from their survillance mission of the moon (onboard their puddle jumper, natch), that LAME's moonbase is heavily protected by shielding and anti-Puddle Jumper missiles that are also a hideously shade of mauve. Disgusting, vile creatures!

So, I think, to protect our team, we will need to communicate and bargain for Joe first. If that doesn't work, we shall...fight...with much CGI goodness.

To that end, we will have to infiltrate Joe's Kidnappers's compound and use their means to contact the Baron. Yes, it may seem a tad clumsy of a plan, but I'm sure it'll be dramatic and make for great television. Satellite surveillance has found a warehouse at the address indicated by them in their letter:

Joe'sKidnappers@Yahoo.com
c/o Rusty Nail Pub
Kidnapper's Mews
Surrey, BC V3R 4T1

I'm sure the address is buried in there somewhere. I shall need an expert for this mission, someone who can be...discreet (i.e. not me).

Hey! ptarmigan! What's this about you being inside a warehouse? Hmmm...alright, you've been recruited for this mission. More instructions to follow!

(This is fun! :D)

rac76 said...

Hi Joe,

I'm sorry to hear about your blogging issues, hopefully they will be fixed for tonight's installment. I'm going thru withdrawls since you can't blog!! I need your blog to survive!!! Actually, I'm okay, but I do joy visiting to see what weird food you are eating. It has been an interesting educational experience! :)

Have a good night.
~rac

Iris said...

Thanhks for thepics and preview. I have two questions (well one is a request) today.

First, I just read over at GW that Jason Momoa shaved his dreds because they were becoming a nuisance to him (too much weight--6lbs!!). He mentiond, also, that he is willing to wear them for the Ronan character. Would you mind if he just leaves em' off? I'm curious to see a clipped Ronan! Plus, he looks imposing enough without the dreds. But maybe Rodney can have the dreds for a while...

Second, have you or any other writrers ever considerd inculding a military chaplain character?

Thanks,

Royal

Edward4th said...

*eyes glazed and probably brain too* I've just caught up with all the comments and now I am going to poke badgers with sporks while I dribble in my custard.

Anonymous said...

K....Clearly Joe and company do NOT believe it was a mistake to get rid of Elizabeth and Carson. Why on earth should they step up and admit something they do not believe just because you and xx number of other fans believe it?

Oh little things like ever decreasing viewing figures. Joe, martin and friends have also said this year, and please forgive me for paraphrasing, everyone will be fans of the Keller character, the changes are going to help the show, and, my personal favourite this is the best season yet!!!!!

And as for admitting mistakes...the makers of Heroes seem to find it quite cathartic to admit when they got it wrong

Anonymous said...

Joe,
I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the people writing on your blog the last few days have WAY too much time on there hands. They sound like college students who just got done with the rigors of finals and are releasing a lot of pent-up emotion. I guess this is better than drinking themselves into a stupor. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh dear! It looks like Farscapefan forgot to take her meds again!!

How about you take them and then come back and express your opinion politely??

AnneTeldy said...

I'm back with information:

Joe's Kidnappers are trying to impress the Baron so as to become members of the League. To further their ends, they've taken to torturing Joe. He's being force-fed chocolate-covered whipped marshmallow cookies while having to watch "Irresponsible" over and over. I fear for his sanity. If we don't free him soon.....[shudder]

Anne Teldy

Val Hutchins said...

Ranger One said...

Joe,
I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the people writing on your blog the last few days have WAY too much time on there hands. They sound like college students who just got done with the rigors of finals and are releasing a lot of pent-up emotion.


Ranger One: That would likely be because a lot of us are college students that have just finished the rigors of finals and are enjoying the free time we have.

Anonymous said...

Hiya Joe,

Wanted to give a shout out to all the nay-sayers, former fans, and doomers and gloomers of the show. Looks like this Mortal Coil had the best numbers since the premiere. After DVR I could see it matching the premiere neck and neck. 2 million viewers has a nice ring to it. Keep up the good work, Joe. This season so far has ROCKED!!!

Anonymous said...

Cara said 'Joe, martin and friends have also said this year, and please forgive me for paraphrasing, everyone will be fans of the Keller character, the changes are going to help the show, and, my personal favourite this is the best season yet!!!!!'

Ok so, I understand you have a right to your opinion and I defend your right to express it but in that same thread, Joe and Co. (hey that rhymes) also have a right to their opinion. At times they may be a little misguided *coff* Lucius *coff* but they seem quite satisfied with the way things have turned out up until now, and they really do believe that what they are doing is best for the show as a whole.

Yes, maybe it has not gone the way you and a number of other fans wanted it to and I understand that there is some frustration there but continuing to demand they admit to a mistake where they see none is not going to help your cause.

Now for the ego boosting part of my message (Hi Joe *waves*).

I for one do think this is the best season of Atlantis. The writing is stronger, there is actual continuity between episodes and the darker perspective is refreshing. Carson and Weir are sorely missed (yes by me, I loved the two of them as characters) and I enjoyed very much seeing Elizabeth again in TMC but I always felt her character was short-changed when it came to development in previous seasons. The fact that she was leader of the expedition meant she had little or no contact with people outside Atlantis, and so had little opportunity for character-driven episodes unlike the rest of the cast. This new arc is a vastly more interesting than anything they have come up with for her in the past, or were likely to if she stayed in her role as leader and I look forward to seeing where this story goes in the rest of the season.

So that’s my two cents for what its worth.

P.S. if I claim to have kidnapped Joe will you guys send me the ransom money? I need it! My student loan is crazy, crazy I tells ya.

P.P.S. Joe, you have to seriously consider Dovil’s idea for the Daleks and Darth Vadar. It is siriusly inspired, yo.

P.P.P.P.P.P.(eleventy billion!)S. I am at work right now. See what a good employee I am :D

Anonymous said...

cara said: "my personal favourite this is the best season yet!!!!!"

Well, I'm an Atlantis only fan, hooked since the day Rising aired. I miss Elizabeth and Carson and would love to see any of them back on a recurring basis. I like both Sam and Keller, but I prefer Elizabeth and Carson.

I love seasons 1, 2, 3 and what we've seen so far of s4.

My top favorite? Season four. I don't know if TPTB said or didn't say s4 is the best season yet. But if they said so, I happen to agree with them. Season 3 would be a close second fave. But season 4 gets the first place.

In my humble opinion, season 4 is the strongest season regarding both stories and character interaction.

Thornyrose said...

ok. so I'm late volunteering. But sign me up for the rescue mission(unless I get a higher bid by the kidnappers: are you reading this Pauline?). I come complete with medical supplies if you need a medic to deal with all the viscious spork wounds.

AnneTeldy said...

Ranger One said...

I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the people writing on your blog the last few days have WAY too much time on there hands. They sound like college students who just got done with the rigors of finals and are releasing a lot of pent-up emotion.

Or maybe they are housebound disabled 43-year-old women with no life to speak of who use the Internet, etc. to distract them from physical pain and suffering.

Anne Teldy

Franklin said...

Alipeeps says...And does anyone know where we should be sending the threatening/pleading letters and targeting the spam mail (I'm thinking chocolates this time around?) campaign? :D

I may have some experience as letter coordination in a similar type of campaign that may currently be running.

....those pesky little tartan pugs are running riot again. We have to rescue Joe soon before I have to set my cats on them.

firefly827347 said...

Ranger One said...

...They sound like college students who just got done with the rigors of finals and are releasing a lot of pent-up emotion...


Heh. That would be me then. Except my final exam is tomorrow :P (Well...today...)

Which reminds me, it's nearly 1am and I still haven't done any revision yet. Drat, looks like an early start for me...

morgia said...

Rescue team, if Anne Teldy informations its right, we dont have a lot of time to save Joseph. What we gonna doooo ? I have some information to: Lulu its not a dog, its a robot...

Dovil said...

I swear to god the next time someone uses that godawful term 'the heart and soul of atlantis' I am going to turn it into a drinking game and spend my days at work slowly sliding off my chair, under my desk, reeking of booze. I will be dead of alcohol poisoning within a week. Do people get paid every time that use that phrase? Is it some kind of finger spasm that causes people to type those words over, and over, and over again. How many hearts and souls does Atlantis even need? It has more going spare than a cow has stomachs.

Can't people say 'hey, I really liked that character and now that they've gone I write words of woe into my diary with my collection of glitter pens and pick listlessly at my dinner and my Mum asks me what's the matter and I yell "Oh my god, I hate you, you never understand me and my angst", and stomp off to my room and slam the door a lot. So please bring them back or otherwise I wont get dessert.' Why can't people just say that instead? WHY?!?

See, now I'll have a stress induced heart attack over an excess of Atlantis' hearts and I'll end up with a really crappy epitaph. Life is cruel.

Jen K said...

I don't get how you can approve comments but not blog. You have to be logged into Blogger to approve comments. So they let you log in, just won't let you post?

Bizzare.

Anonymous said...

Hey! I volunteered and no one has given me an assignment yet! Guess there's no call for someone with a legal background among all this lawlessness.

I may not have a spork, but I can throw legalese with the best of them. Res Judicata that with your Obiter Dicta!

*Throws a snowball at SUCKSASS, LAME, BITEME, and Joe'sKidnappers. Walks away to sulk.*

Anonymous said...

Dear Ranger1. As a 30 year old who is the director of a software company I resent your statement - well, not really. Instead, I'm using this blog as a laughter release for the craziness that is this time of year.. and every other day of the year.
However! I have used my connections and next Wed it is organised for 6 of us girlies to get together at a great Thai place where we will take pics of our food and the general chaos, get reviews of each dish and have even organised a virtual dinner attendee via a friend travelling through Sth America (it's going to be 4.30am in Chile so not sure how much she'll feel like virtual Thai) just in case the blogger issues continue and/or we never see Joe and the remaining half of his tie again.

Pauline said...

Ranger One said...
Joe,
I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the people writing on your blog the last few days have WAY too much time on there hands. They sound like college students who just got done with the rigors of finals and are releasing a lot of pent-up emotion. I guess this is better than drinking themselves into a stupor.

I wish!
Some of us are just insane people who for light relief from very demanding jobs or lives read a very entertaining blog for the sole purpose of escapism.

And if we get said escapism from playing ‘Where’s Waldo?’ (I mean Joe), with a modicum of madness in the process then what the hell.

If my University days were anything to go by the need to partake in the occasional alcoholic beverage due to post exam stress is well warranted.

Joe the cracks are beginning to show, I’m having to communicate with my family in order to maintain my sanity.
Please come back and save me!!

Pauline

Sanssong said...

Anon Weird Fan said -
"Goodness, the originator of the phrase, "Weird Fans". Sans is such a class act, really."

I think you have me confused with someone else. I believe the phrase I coined was "sweirdos". Nice to know I still have my very own stalkers. :-/

And if you're going to insult me at least be brave enough to sign your name.

Pauline said...

Thornyrose said...
But sign me up for the rescue mission(unless I get a higher bid by the kidnappers: are you reading this Pauline?).

Thornyrose your potential change in affiliation has been duly noted. And come the rancorous revolution that will one day sweep across this planet, on that day the down trodden masses of evil will rise…

Oh sorry got a bit carried away there, must maintain my cover back to girly talk.

Oh yes and we can straighten each others hair and press flowers in our scrapbooks!!!

Baroness Pauline (Well a girl can change her mind can’t she.)

Anonymous said...

Valerie said...
Ranger One: That would likely be because a lot of us are college students that have just finished the rigors of finals and are enjoying the free time we have.

I think I hear an echo!!

Well enjoy the free time while you can because real life is right in front of you!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hello, again. Joe'sKidnappers here. Seems some of you have gotten the wrong impression of us. We most emphatically DO NOT work for the Baron! We're not that L.A.M.E. If we did work for the Baron, what good would the ransom do us? Huh? We'd just have to turn it over to him. Talk about a S.U.C.K.A.S.S. position to be in.

I repeat, we are SERIOUS! We have the Lord of Snark. Give us the ransom or we'll . . . we'll . . . we'll poke him in the eye.

Hey! What are you doing?! You fool!! You've fed him too many chocolate covered marshmallow cookies! Now look what you've done! The shoebox has exploded! Get him! Don't let him escape! [ *Mad chase around the warehouse ensues, while looking remarkably like chickens with no heads chasing a waddling duck. (No offence to chickens and ducks intended.)*] Lucky for you we caught him, you imbecile! [*Smacks minion in the head*] Now what are we going to do with him since the shoebox is ruined? You, lacky, what's your name? Never mind, I don't care. Go to the nearest dollar store and steal, yes, I said STEAL, a new box to put our guest in. [*Pause*] Now, you poor excuse for a kidnapper!

Now, where was I? Oh, yes, give us the ransom! I'm not going to tell you again. Okay, maybe I am, but it'll be the last time.

[*Minion timidly creeps up to head kidnapper, holding spork.*

MeekMinion: Oh, great and wonderous leader, S.U.C.K.A.S.S. has found our warehouse with their spy satellite.

Omnipotent Leader: WHAT!! *Spins around to smack timid minion. Accidently skewers self on spork*

MeekMinion: Oops. Ummm, I think we need a new leader. Any volunteers?

KidnapperChorus: YOU!

MeekMinion: Um, okay.]

All right everyone, there's been kind of a change here. Umm, please can we have the ransom? We're really nice people when you get to know us. Honest. We wouldn't hurt a fly. A tie, sure, but not a fly. Please? Pretty please?


*Baron, are you okay? You look kind of ill?*

Anonymous said...

In the pics:

Who's that with M Gero?
Who's that with Bam Bam?
Who's that with Morena B?

Thanks..

Anonymous said...

Thornyrose said...
I come complete with medical supplies if you need a medic to deal with all the viscious spork wounds.

Thronyrose, welcome to the medical team!

Anne has reported "He's being force-fed chocolate-covered whipped marshmallow cookies while having to watch "Irresponsible" over and over."

Throny, we need to create some type of anti-chocolate-covered whipped marshmallow cookie while watching Irresponsible cure. We may need to call in a specialist for this one, a chocolatier that can counter the evil marshmallow.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to know where all the people who never see anything wrong with Stargate Atlantis got their rose-coloured glasses? I cannot believe you people see nothing wrong with the show? No show is perfect, but some of you sure think so. Maybe because, in my opinion, there really hasn't been a great TV sci-fi show on almost a decade, people think SGA is great? It is adequate with some excellent episodes, some atrocious episodes, with the majority in the middle (i.e. mediocre.)
Well at least it beats stupid reality TV and juvenile sitcoms, but it just goes to show how much bad TV is out there.
I'll just have to keep watching SGA and look for the gems among the common glass fragments until a better sci-fi show comes along.

Dovil said...

Sci-Fi Fan without rose tinted glasses said... blah,blah,blah,blahdidyblah

Thank you so much for your comment pointing out your superior appreciation of tv shows than us mere plebs. Truly before you came along I used to clutch the SGA dvds to myself before raising them dramatically into the air, gazing at them with adoration, for lo, they were sacred objects. But now I realise my worship was wrong, my faith directed towards the wrong sci-fi gods. Teach us, oh wise one, and point us towards what we should unthinkingly bow down to, singing praise and sending in our credit card numbers.

I now feel shame in what was my enjoyment of this show, thank you for ripping those glasses from my unseeing eyes and stomping on them with righteous indignation. Thank you!

PG15 said...

Hmmm...interesting, it seems ptarmigan is lazing on the job. Forget diplomacy, it's time to go all in!

Oh, and I ate my way through the ransom, so we're not doing that either!

Jade, jumperpilot, fly over to Joe'sKidnappers' warehouse with your Jumper and blow it up with drones. Just try not to kill Joe in the process.

Hmmm...I wonder what Moon-Joe's association is with Warehouse-Joe. Could it be...REPLICATORS?!

Anonymous said...

Dear Sci-fi fan without rose tinted glasses

Um thanks for clearing that up for me. I had no idea that I only enjoyed the show because I was a simpleton who doesn’t understand that the show isn’t perfect. I’m glad you are condescending enough to hang around with the rest of us lowly fans who are not waiting around for something better to come along. How silly of us to like the show despite its problems and especially for choosing to tell someone who works hard at their job that we like what they are doing. Shame on us. We should all follow your example and join you in deriding people who do not think exactly as you do. I am glad I finally see the light.

Sincerely,
Liamar13

ptarmigan said...

To all members of BITEME and co.

Okay, time to regroup. Here’s my understanding of the status of current assignments – in no particular order. (Updates are appreciated as my head is still throbbing.)

AMZ & Narelle from AUS: Will figure out what “tomorrow's upside-down midnight” translates into in Atlantis Standard

AV Eddy: in charge of ARGs and all sound effects

Pauline: Ransom Keeper (any accountants out there? I think we may need an auditor.)

Yasmin: Kick and Slap Committee leader (with the help of PG15)

Cathie: Hair Patrol

Peek: Searching through all packages to LAME HQ with the help of Fluffy the alligator

Susan the Tartan Turtle: Dog Whisperer – (Careful there – they’ve been growling)

Dovil: Special Forces Coordinator

Lt.Col.ErrandBoy: Refreshments (You’ve been helping Shawna w/ the SF Bake Sale right?)

Jr. Mint: Bake Sale Clean Up

Neep, Annie, Toni, Brenna, Charles Schneider & Uber: SPORK MAINTENANCE AND SUPPORT

Morgia and Anais: Interpreters and PG15s protectors when he attempts to handle ransom transactions

Edward4th: Sage Advice (not to be a pain, but we could use a little at this point - Marsha_R has been a voice of reason lately, maybe she could help with that *grins*)

Moe Jacuzzi: Mr. M’s personal escort once found…

Mel the Marvelous: Mastermind who suggested a rescue in the first place…

Kdvb1: Profiler and Team Choir Director

Alipeeps, Gracy & hachi: Ace Spellers – very important as the kidnappers are probably asking our beloved JM to read all correspondence to them, and, well, misspells in front of a professional writer would just be embarrassing! (Alipeeps is also in charge of the SJM campaign banners. Are you doing okay with the multitasking?)

Scarym and K8T: Logistic Support

Elizabeth: In Charge of Mr. M’s Water Color Distribution

Logic Sequence: Moral Officer

Grapesofwrath: Heading up the SUA (Secret Universal Alliance)

Anon, good nurse: Forensic Computer Specialist – tasked to ID all RepliComputers at Blogger

Joshua Meyers: Visiting all BC rehabilitation centers looking for AWOL Rescue Team members (We’ve just gotta get Joe back on Blogger soon!)

Firefly827347: BITEME Team Psychiatrist (And is excused from tonight’s action to take yet another final exam.)

Jade and jumperpilot: Transportation Coordination –Do we have an Aurora class vessel yet?

Royal_Nonsuch: Chaplin

Leese Perrie: Proir Lookout

Waybeyondsoccermom: Literary Liaison (As mentioned before, we ARE trying to rescue a professional writer!)

Valerie: Poetry Department

Dr Amyfro & ThornyRose: In charge of medical verification of Joe’s identity once found. (We really don’t want to bring back a RepliJoe, now do we?) Must also be ready for any further spork wounds. BTW thanks for the yummy chocolate!

Limar13 & Replicator Bill: Anti-time-loop Technician (Joe seems to fall into these time loops a lot, so we need you up front okay?)

Linz: We need you to make sure that PG15 doesn’t eat the flocking and visa versa!

42 and Narelle:Lunar IT Department

Ranger One will round up the chimps at the Blogger Help Department and put things in order there. Peek and Fluffy may be able to help once they are done with the parcels.

Ptarmigan: rising star apprentice to Dr. Q. Meddlesome Woman

*checks latest updates*
We really need that auditor for Pauline!

I’m sure I’ve missed some of our team, so pipe up with the updates please: Name and position please.

Pauline said...

Cat444 don’t walk away and sulk come over to the dark side, join us.
Thorny is already on the cusp of joining us here at G.A.L.S

G.A.L.S
Against
L.A.M.E
S.U.C.K.A.S.S

And Narelle sweetie what’s world domination without software?

Could we have a head count of Acronyms do we have one or two L.A.M.E’s
And could all the S.U.C.K.A.S.S’s put their hands up that’s one, two, three…

Could ‘Sci-Fi Fan without rose tinted glasses’ please make his mind up are you L.A.M.E or S.U.C.K.A.S.S ?

Pauline (Sleep deprivation kicking in)

Promogirl said...

Okay, Joe. I have to thank your loyal readers for keeping me so entertained over the past few days. I may not have gotten to read your blog but the details of your kidnapping and the subsequent plans for your rescue have been quite entertaining.

Hmm. Maybe the comments are why I was dreaming of sporks last night.

Unknown said...

Hey Joe,

Still in exile I see. Or held hostage somewhere. Maybe all those e-mail scammers conspired to shut your blog down.

I was wondering just a general question about season 5. Do you think we might see any environments off world, like an ice planet, or a desert?

Or do you think we'll have an eppy where we see more exploration of the city?

Thanks-

Thornyrose said...

Dr. Amyfo, glad to be on the team. I do NOT, repeat, do NOT recoommend calling in a chocolatier. The repurcussions of infusing a dose of high quality chocolate with the marshmallws could result in an explosion approaching the output of a mark 1 naquida generator.
I suggest instead that we start with a hot peach dish, ala mode and with almond sprinkles. That way we can begin weening the victim off the sugar high without a high risk of adverse reaction.
Oh, and I've figured out how to deal with the minions of the kidnappers. I've put out the word to coworkers that a 16 point buck has been spotted, and that I'll text them with the location. That should give us the firepower of an airborne division, and assuming we dont tap the kegs till AFTER the rescue, we can count on accurate firepower.
Finally, Pauline. Thanks, but I was looking for an offer of more....pecuniary nature. Pressing flowers, well, whatever perversions you and the Baron enjoy in private is that, private. But thanks. Maybe after all this is over we can re-negotiate my availability as a henchman/servitor.

the dixon-stubblefield blog said...

Uh, Dovil - those are MY sacred round circles that you are carelessly tossing in the air...MINE I tell you :)

Ok, since I still have NO job - what about I make a bunch of Christmas cookies, of many varieties, to feed Joe to counteract the evil marshmallow-chooclate malady?

*Ponders cure for "irresponsible" but hmm maybe a rescue team fanfic called....RE-sponsible? Following the team caring for Carson's poor turtles since his untimely demise (ahem).*

PS to Joe - I'm able to access all MY features on blogger so uh, that's why I'm following the kidnap story!

Wams352

Anonymous said...

ptarmigan, all sporks cleaned and accounted for, Sir! Just give the word, and we'll attach them to arrows, light them on fire ('cause everyone knows that burning plastic REALLY stinks), and shoot them randomly at whatever moves. Or doesn't move. Whatever.

Anonymous said...

Pauline said...
Blah, blah, blah,...
Could ‘Sci-Fi Fan without rose tinted glasses’ please make his mind up are you L.A.M.E or S.U.C.K.A.S.S ?

Pauline (Sleep deprivation kicking in)


Actually, I am member of an exclusive organization called S.W.E.E.T.
( Sci-fi fans With Extremely Exceptional Taste)
By the way, you are sounding silly. Go to bed.

Anonymous said...

(Chocolatier arrives)
Chocolatier: Someone called for a chocolatier.
Dr. Amyfo: Yes, I'm sorry but after consulting with my associate Thornyrose we've decided to go another way. Here is a Scottish 50 pence note for your troubles.
(Dr. Amyfo shoves Chocolatier out the door)

There is one problem solved. Thornyrose we should prep the OR just in case Joe gets his hands on any high quality chocolate and it has a chance to mix with the marshmallow in his stomach before we administer the hot peach. We wouldn't that bomb to form inside of him and blow us up. *sniff, poor Carson*

I have plenty of adhesive bandages and immobilization products ready for us in the spork injury wing.

ATTN ALL TEAM MEMBERS:
Don't forget to stop by the infirmary for your spork & foon puncture wound shot.(I hope everyone likes Patron) Prevention is key, I would hate to have to remove any limbs due to severe spork & foon puncture wounds.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sci-fi fan without rose tinted glasses:

I had to remove my rose tinted glasses when I read your comment.
Easier to wipe away the tear your note caused.

Someone who's only happy once a decade?

sniff

Pauline said...

I used to be schizophrenic but I’m in two minds about that diagnosis.

And with that in mind I have to report that the ransom collection stands at …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………wait for it……………………
……………………………………soon………………
$6.00 usa, $7.00 can, 3 euros come on Europe letting the side down.
And from my personal fortune the full £10.75 as promised.

Susan the tartan turtle what did I say about 50pence notes?

I therefore declare that based on the ransom money as collected to date Joe Mallozzi is a dead man.

And that we should go ahead with operation ‘Smell the Wind’ and send in a pre-emptive strike on the Baron’s Moon Base.
Oh just so you know there’s not enough money in the kitty for up to date space suites hence operation ‘Smell the Wind’.

I will of course continue in my current post for as long as I can while on my medication or until such times as my off shore account clears my funds.

Pauline

«Oldest ‹Older   201 – 400 of 573   Newer› Newest»