October 31, 2007

Last night, Fondy enlisted my help in getting a little fix-it work done around her office. Unbeknownst to her (she has only known me some fifteen years after all), my handyman skills rate just a tad better than my overall proficiency as a blacksmith, but far, far worse than my mastery of the oboe. Nevertheless, I was up on the ladder, gamely trying to unscrew things with a screwdriver that had seen so much use its once-squared head had long-since been polished down a well-rounded nub. I worked away at it, all the while nursing a bum right shoulder that necessitated I do everything with my left hand (incidentally, did you know that clock-wise is the same direction regardless of which hand you use?). I had plaster rain down on my head, choking white dust settle over me in an omnipresent cloud, and some deceptively cushy-looking pink insulation trigger a rash on my neck and wrists. See, this is why I hate doing stuff around the house. If spending ten minutes up on a ladder taking stuff off a wall is enough to send me stumbling home, dizzy, my right eye swollen, and battling a splitting headache, I can’t imagine what thirty minutes vacuuming would do. Hell, cleaning out the garage would probably kill me.

Back on the work front, we are slowly making progress on those season five stories. Veeeery sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly. Every time we sit down to discuss, something comes up. Scheduling. Deals. Another mix! Actually three great mixes of late: Spoils of War (So what is the difference between the silent masked wraiths and the chatty ones? Ohhhhhhh, I see.), Be All My Sins Remember’d (Awesome. This one boasts the greatest visual effects sequences the show has ever done. Mark is going to be hard-pressed to top this one.), Miller’s Crossing (With that incredibly angsty McKay-Sheppard scene.) Yep, distractions galore. Like Lawren’s story concerning the travel arrangements he had to make for an actor last year. Given the amount of travel the actors do, it’s often in their best interests to get a Nexus pass that allows them to breeze through customs. Of course, the pass requires a fairly comprehensive background check and, as Lawren explained in the message he left on the actor‘s cell phone, “a retinal scan”. How James Bond. Cool, no? Well, turns out the actor didn‘t think so. There was clearly some sort of miscommunication because, the following day, Lawren received an anxious message on his answering machine wondering: “Why do they need a rectal scan?!” Hey, buddy, do you want the convenience of shorter airport waiting times or not?

Well, it’s time to dress up the dogs and prepare the veggie platter for the little trick-or-treaters. I’m going to really push the cauliflower this year as past experience has proven it to be the slowest-moving cruciferae on Halloween.

Today's pics: You know how every so often you'll read a report about some sorry individual whose partially-consumed remains are discovered in their home or apartment surrounded by the family pets? Well, I'm guessing that those incidents are payback for humiliations like this.

October 30, 2007

Well, this is just great. I have a toothache, I think I may have partially islocated my shouler, and my laptop has taken to haphazardly ropping the letter d. Seriously. What’s a guy to o?

Yeah, a certain tooth had been been bothering for a while. It was nothing serious. Just a little iscomfort whenever I happene to bite down on a peppercorn or a sesame seed just the right way. Turns out it was a chip in my filling. So, I had it fixed and, ever since, I’ve experience a dull ache that runs from the lower part of my jaw to my ear canal every time I eat. Fortunately, I’m able to take my mind off the toothache by moving my right arm six inches either forwards, backwars, or side to sie, just enough of a range of motion to send a shiver of excruciating pain through my right shouler. Not sure what I di but it wouldn’t have taken much as I suffer from notoriously weak shoulers (superheroes take note). As for my laptop ropping the d’s. Well, I harly even notice.

Hmmmmmm. Between the previous paragraph and this one, I had to take a break to clean up a Lulu accident which, to be perfectly honest, idn’t seem all that accidental. After cleaning up, I went to wash my hans, pressed own on the soap dispenser, and had the contents shoot straight out onto my new shirt.

All this to say - a little cranky today. And yet, espite the crankiness, I was able to partake in some first-class spinning this afternoon. Didn’t get as much accomplishe as I would’ve liked but Paul and I had our hans full with other non-creative issues (scheduling, eals, an, of course, lunch). Still, we do have about eight notions in the works including Marty G.’s old-school story (“How ol school?”you may ask. Well is season one ld enough for youuuuu?”

Aw geez. Now my u is sticked. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

October 29, 2007

Well, we were back at it today, spinning stories for season five in a bid to top the tremendous twenty episodes that make up the Atlantis’s fourth season. SciFi has aired the first five and trust me when I say that the best is yet to come. This week’s installment, Tabula Rasa, is one of my favorites of the first half, a wonderfully freaky entry that offers up a truly WTF (?!) tease. It’s also one of the most unique-looking episodes we’ve done.

But even though you’re only a quarter of the way through season four, we’re already thinking about next year. Talk about planning ahead. After rolling in at approximately 9:30ish and dispensing with the niceties (“So, what did you on your time off besides worry about the pick-up?”), we settled down to our customary Monday morning post-football-weekend discussion (“Sorry about your Trojans, Carl”, “Hey, how about them Hawaii Rainbows!”, “My dark horse Browns are looking great!”) after which we moved on to the most important topic of the day: lunch. Suggestions were made, supported, critiqued, and hotly debated until, finally, a clear winner emerged: Lombardo’s Pizza. But sadly, for some bizarre reason known to only Lombardo himself, the place had run out of pepperoni. So, Lombardo’s was out and Carl-fave Domino’s was in. Who says I always eat too froo-froo? Check ’em out: BBQ chicken, all-dressed, pepperoni and cheese, and Brooklyn style. I had one of each.

Following lunch, we actually got down to business… And so it begins.

Oh, a little correction to something I stated in yesterday’s blog entry. The process of re-attaching Jason’s dreads will not take the laborious four hours I had assumed. It’ll actually take a little longer. Approximately two days. See, this is why I prefer to keep him hair short.

Also, the results are in for the November Joe’s Book of the Month Club selections and the winners are…

In the fantasy category: Stephen King’s The Gunslinger beat out Robert Silverberg’s Lord Valentine’s Castle 21 votes to 11.

In the science fiction category: it was a little closer, but Frank Herbert’s The White Plague beat out Connie Willis’ The Doomsday Book 21-16.

Of course the simple fact that they’re not official selections doesn’t mean I won’t be reading ’em. I finished up last month’s runners-up, Perdido Street Station and Legion of the Damned, last week and enjoyed them both (although I preferred Heorot over Legion and preferred Mieville’s The Scar over his earlier Perdido). So, start reading. Discussion begins the last week of November.

Today’s pics: Look who's back! And lunch!

Today’s video: None.

Today’s mailbag:

Han writes: “ Hm, do you realise that Carter's absence in "Travellers" really didn't make a strong case for her being a "better, more involved" leader than Weir? In fact, i think it rather played more to the contrary.”

Answer: Hmm. Now that you put it that way, the same could be said for the rest of the team. Are you making a case for losing them as well?

OhioAnne writes: “And what was for dessert?”

Answer: Unfortunately, the desserts were from a local Chinese bakery = a light and relatively tasteless assortment.

Yasmin writes: “How do you cook beets?”

Answer: Fondy boils them, then tosses them with a little oil, vinegar, and onion.

Smiley Face06 writes: “On the GW forum, there are already anti season 5 threads. That makes absolutely no sense to me, for various reasons.”

Answer: Yeah, I found those hilarious. (Yeah, I said hilarious.) Criticizing a show you are watching is one thing, but actively campaigning against the production of a show that other fans are enjoying is, well, idiotic. “Yeah, I said idiotic.)

Dovil writes: “Damn my illiteracy turning sheep shearing into something universally illegal except in Wales.”

Answer: Thanks for the correction.

P.S. Really? Wales?

Joanieloveschachi writes: “What is Martin Gero really like?”

Answer: It’s kind of hard to tell as, ever since his big screen debut, he has taken to communicating with us through a mina bird named Scratchy. Personal affectation or really the reincarnated spirit of the great, great grandfather he barely knew? You decide.

October 28, 2007

What a week. First, we receive news that Atlantis has been picked up for a fifth season. Then, I get my test results back - everything is normal. Finally, my Melvinskidnappers@yahoo.com account received the following email:

“We are please to inform you of the announcement today of the QUEEN ELIZABETH International Poverty Alleviation Grant Scheme held on 26th October 2007. this Grant is given out to selected individuals around the world to help them actualise their dreams and also make the world a better place for all….”

How cool is that. Elated, Mr. Kidnapper wrote back:

“I am thrilled beyond words to receive news that all of our hard work has finally been recognized. Ours is undoubtedly one of the world’s most storied professions and yet, for all of its rich history, the business of kidnapping is not without its challenges. To be honest, there were times when we struggled, when we considered simply giving it all up in favor of more traditional pursuits such as armed robbery, carjacking, and online fraud, but, instead, we remained committed and, in the end, persevered.

This much-deserved award would not have been possible were it not for those who planned, ambushed, pistol-whipped, and showed immeasurable patience in striving to be the best possible kidnappers they could be. And so, I would like to take this opportunity to thank individuals like Jimmy Jones (aka Johnny James, aka Jacky Jakes, aka Lady Beatrice Rivera the third) who spent many a late night surfing the net, watching celebrity news, and browsing back-issues of Paris Match to find us the best possible targets; the Kato brothers who have always demonstrated unbridled enthusiasm in the fulfillment of their duties be it rolling a struggling socialite into her Persian rug or tossing a hysterical European ambassador out of a speeding car; Roderick “No Nose” Carpaccio whose skills as a getaway driver are surpassed only by his talent for tap; and the lovely Isadora - my co-conspirator and partner in love. Special mention should also be made of the late Ricky “Ears” Montezuma who once gave this young up-and-coming kidnapper his first break in a very competitive field. And, of course, the many, many, many victims who made it all possible.

We anxiously await our 500 000 pounds and commemorative plaque.

Sincerely,

Mr. Kidnapper”

Meanwhile, Baron Destructo found not one but two new emails sitting in his inbox this weekend. The first, was from a Mr. Aboud Diallo who contacted the Baron with regard to some exciting business proposal. Hmmm. On the surface, it certainly looked promising, but Baron Destructo has been remarkably wary of late. He wrote back:

“Dear Mr. Aboud Diallo (if that is your real name),

I hope you will excuse my reticence to take you at your word but recent actions on the part of my enemies has caused me to adopt a more cautious approach to the various business dealings that come my way. Specifically, I refer to the recent attempts by Captain Spectacular and his Confederacy of Justice to entrap me and my associates. It may, perhaps, be mere coincidence that your name, Mr. Aboud Diallo, is actually an anagram from Llama D. Boudoir, the not-so-secret identity of one Major Funksonic. Still, I would prefer to err on the side of caution and ask you to answer a few questions to confirm your identity.

1. Are you or are your present employers possessed of any superhuman abilities (as a result of anything from genetic manipulation to magically-imbued cod-pieces)?

2. Are you or have you ever worked for any of the following law enforcement agencies: Interpol, the F.B.I, the C.I.A., L.A.W., T.R.E.W.T.H., S.P.H.I.N.C.T.E.R.?

3. Could you provide a witness (non-family member) willing to attest to your true identity. If so, would he/she be willing to provide a written deposition to that effect? If not, would they be willing to take part in a one act three-player improv entitled “That’s My Mr. Aboud Diallo”?

Once I have received your responses to the preceding questions, I will be happy to join you in moving forward on your proposal.

Sincerely,

Baron Destructo

Cc: Calamitous Jane, Glaxnor the Miscreant, Sinderella Washington, Xxxaptak’qul, Dr. Catastro, Dr. Disastro, Dr. Quinn Meddlesome Woman, Ray Mephistopheles, Archfiend Animus, Brutus Badly, the Plague Zombies, Vorzik the Planet Squisher, the Malevolater, Count Sinister, Kugal Baruth, Death Knell, Star Father Celestio, Shatterdam, Princess Arcana, the Mystifier, the Procrastinator, the Soul Emancipator, Quickstrike, Professor Frosty, Flamer the Flaming Man, the Pummeler, the Purple Lamprey, and John Tesh.”

The other email was from a Mariam Aslam who asked for the Baron’s help in moving $18.5 million dollars out of a bank account Abidjan so that she could meet Baron Destructo and continue her education. Well, what an opportunity! The Baron responded:

“If you are seeking to further your education, then your timing is impeccable because we at the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil are in process of auditioning for The Next Great Supervillain! We are seeking someone who is motivated and maniacal, yet brilliant and just a tad loopy to join our society of Monsters, Megalomaniacs, and Mercenaries. Think Pussycat Dolls Presents: Search for the Next Doll, but slightly more evil and somewhat less slutty. If you think this is for you, then please send us an email with the following information:

Your real name (ie. Mariam Aslam)
Your super villain name: (ie.Countess Badonkadonk)
Your special powers: (ie. hypnotism, gravity control, the uncanny ability to predict which of the new Fall shows will be cancelled first).
Costume description: (ie. purple spandex with yellow light bulb symbol on chest, black boots and gloves, black cape with fuschia trim, green goggles and winged silver helmet.)
A brief overview of your life-goals: (ie. revenge against all those who wronged you in the past, world domination, infamy).

We at the League of Aliens for Mutants for Evil are a progressive organization dedicated to encouraging an inclusive environment for all evildoers regardless of race, gender, religion, planet of origin, sexual preference, or sanity. So come on out and give us a try. The only thing you have to lose is your life.

Looking forward to judging you harshly,

Baron Destructo

Cc: Calamitous Jane, Glaxnor the Miscreant, Sinderella Washington, Xxxaptak’qul, Dr. Catastro, Dr. Disastro, Dr. Quinn Meddlesome Woman, Ray Mephistopheles, Archfiend Animus, Brutus Badly, the Plague Zombies, Vorzik the Planet Squisher, the Malevolater, Count Sinister, Kugal Baruth, Death Knell, Star Father Celestio, Shatterdam, Princess Arcana, the Mystifier, the Procrastinator, the Soul Emancipator, Quickstrike, Professor Frosty, Flamer the Flaming Man, the Pummeler, the Purple Lamprey, and John Tesh.”

To those of you asking - yes, Jason did cut his hair. The dreads were becoming a bit of a pain and he asked us if he could go ahead and lose them. Paul and I wanted to accommodate him but were a little concerned given that the first episode of season 5 will pretty much pick up events as we leave them in the final episode of season 4, and we figured the fans might notice the not-so-subtle change in hairstyle. Well, after getting on the phone with Jason’s hair expert (no kidding), we arrived at a solution. Jason could lose the dreads provided he held on to them. A couple of weeks prior to the start of principal photography for season five, they would be reattached in a procedure that would take approximately four hours, and he would have them back for premiere. Thus, Jason is happy and continuity is maintained. As for the ultimate fate of those dreads - that, among many other things, is up for discussion this week.

Finally, to those of you who are including email addresses in your comments (as a rule, I do not make these public so if you want your comment to be made public, don’t include an email address), or sending me “Please do not approve” comments, I’m happy to keep them private and I do read them, but if you’re expecting a personal response, you might have to wait a while as I’ll have my hands with season five story ideas for the foreseeable future.

BTW - The winners of the next Joe’s BOTM will be announced tomorrow. The polls close at midnight tonight but it looks like it’s going to be The Gunslinger and The White Plague.

Today’s pics: Hey, lookit! We actually made dinner last night!

Today’s video: Nada.

Today’s mailbag:

Anonymous #1 writes: “Zabadoo writes: 2.)Will any other major characters (Sheppard, Ronan, Teyla, McKay, Zelenka, Keller, Carter) bite the dust this season?”
Answers: 2)
You left the answer to this question blank. Was that deliberate or was it just a typo?”

Answer:

Pam writes: “I always thought I was the only one who didn't know what to do with those cream colours. And what about black and white items?”

Answer: To make complicated matters even more complicated, by wife informed me today that she puts the creams with the “light colors”. So, apparently now I have to separate the colors into two piles. I give up!

Elizabeth writes: “1) Will you try to have Jack in season five? 2) Can you have another one of the episode dissections for Trio? Pretty please? 3) Does Sam meet the Wraith from Common Ground in The Seer?”

Answers: 1) We start discussing season five tomorrow. 2) I didn’t write Trio so I will not be offering up an in-depth discussion of the script. 3) Tune in and find out.

Jenny Robin writes: “Hi, Jenny Robin. I'm so _________ that you had a fantastic vacation! Did you get ______________ in Florida? I really enjoyed the time you posted ___________ on my blog. I had no idea you were such a __________. I wish I could be ________ like you in that regard. I really appreciate how _________ and ________ you are, no matter what _______ ________ says. Thanks for ___________!

Your _____ pal,
Joe”

Answers: The words are in no particular order - “marksman”, “nothing”, “inebriated”, “furious”, “quizzical”, “fire-retardant”, “mugged”, “y’know”, “everyone”, “else”.

Inpa writes: “Did you guys originally have a plan to revisit Ford at some point which was just shelved as the direction of the show changed or was there no real plan to?”

Answer: We had no specific story idea in mind but elected to keep the door open.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Why did both Sheppard and Larrin trust the wraith to walk back unaccompanied to his ship?”

Answer: 1. Sheppard made a deal with the wraith and he is a man of his word. 2. A simple check of the life signs detector would have told them if the wraith had left the ship or not.

Anonymous #3 writes: “So the episode was short? If so, can you tell me what scenes you added to fill the time?”

Answer: I don’t believe it was short either. I believe it was juuuuuust right.

Jenny writes: “Just curious, what does JF think about playing Kirk...and always having it go so horribly wrong? “

Answer: Travelers was one of Joe’s favorite episodes of season four.

Anonymous #4 writes: “Picture this situation: Elizabeth Weir and Koyla are alone on Atantis battling it out for ownership of the city. Would Elizabeth have done the kiss to get the gun trick?”

Answer: No but of course there’s the fact that she’s a completely different character…

October 27, 2007

So sad. It’s reached the point know where Cookie Monster’s yahoo account receives more emails from fans than it does from scammers. Still, I’m happy to say that after a lengthy lay-off, I was able to go back and find a couple of potential targets.

The first was an email from a DR. atiko tijani who is in “urgent need for foreign partner” to help him transfer $30 million dollars out of a deceased client’s account. And, just in case I doubted the veracity of his proposal, the good doctor offers up a link to a new story about a plane crash to, in fact, “confirm the genuiness of the deceased death”.

Cookie Monster wrote back:

“ Hello dere,

Me confirm. Yep. He dead alright. But sadly Cookie Monster no can help. You looking for foreign partner and Cookie Monster not foreign. Me American.

Hey, now dat tink about it, Oscar the Grouch one quarter Scottish. Cookie Monster meet his Scottish relatives once. Dey speak language dat almost sound like English. Dat count?

Cookie Monster

P.S. Me love to learn more about DR atiko culture where people no do capitalize names. So exotik!

The other email was from poor, down-on-her-luck Agnes Johnson in Sierra Leone who lost everything (father, mother, two brothers, and most of her worldly possessions) in a rebel attack. Agnes explains: "I have seen war and I have seenpeace, I have seen riches and I have seen people die.." She now lives in a refugee camp in Senegal but is desperate for someone to help her access her late father’s fortune ($85 million). She instructs: “you will open an account for me there in your country and keep the whole money into the account then i will come over there and stay with you or you can buy a good aparment for me over there.”

Cookie Monster wrote back:

“Hello Agnes,

Cookie Monster understand. Like you, he see war, peace, riches, and people die. But not in Sierra Leone. On t.v. show Falcon Crest. Is with Jane Wyman and Lorenzo Lamas. Remember episode where Maggie, Chase, and Richard follow evil baby-kidnapper Melissa into San Francisco Bay and Chase save baby and Melissa but he not come back up? (so sad). Or time Maggie die when wedding ring get caught in swimming pool drain? (so sadder) Or when Parker Stevenson leave show? (maybe saddest of all!) If Agnes not know show, Cookie Monster highly recommend. Would be great way for Agnes to take mind off tough life where she left with only clothes on back and computer to send emails. Refugee camp where you staying get TV LAND? Sure hope so.

Me want to help, but can’t offer hospitality. Count be sleeping on Cookie Monster’s couch since Mrs. Count kick him out last month. Is very depressing. Every night, he cry himself to sleep hugging econo-size bottle of Jim Beam and singing old Transylvania folk songs. Would not be so bad if there be more than two. Also, Count not exactly Rick Derringer. Sometime singing so bad Cookie Monster lie next to open window so sounds of next-door slaughterhouse drown out noise for more peaceful night sleep.

Sincerely,

Cookie Monster”

Well, a HUUUUUGE sigh of relief for me yesterday when, at around 6:00 p.m., the doctor’s office called to inform me my blood tests came back and everything was normal. Let’s celebrate! The mailbag is back!

Today’s pics: Lulu shows off her new outfit.

Today’s video: None today.

Today’s mailbag:

Ascended Tauri writes: “1)when you guys write/discuss story line episodes like you did with 'Reunion', do you/rest of production staff discuss in detail the possible future direction the story could go? Say, Ronon's friend that retreats at the end of 'Reunion'. How much discussion goes into a future plan for that character? 2. Do you/rest of staff already discuss, in this case, Season 5 during your production of S. 4?

Answers: 1) I made the decision not to kill of Tyre at the end of Reunion because I thought he would be an interesting character to bring back for a future episode. 2) When we wrote the season finale, we had a general idea of how we wanted to pick things up in season 5, but we didn’t have detailed plans for an overall season-long arc at that point.

Anonymous writes: “Originally Michael's name was going to be Charlie, but for some reason it was changed.”

Answer: It was?

Zabadoo writes: “1.)For Atlantis's 100th episode, do you think you guys will do something epic or comical? 2.)Will any other major characters (Sheppard, Ronan, Teyla, McKay, Zelenka, Keller, Carter) bite the dust this season?”

Answers: 1) Since it will be the season-ender, it will not be comical. 2)

Pauline writes: “It never ceases to amaze me that with all the bravado that men have with taking car engines apart etc. Ask them to put clothes in a washing machine and you would think we had asked you to pilot the Space Shuttle.”

Answer: In all fairness, Fondy usually sees to the car engine as well.

Neek_love writes: “When it comes to the hiring or writers in "the industry" is a college/university background in writing considered important, or more just whether the writing jives with the production?”

Answer: It has everything to do with the talent and approximately zero to do with a candidates educational background.

Anonymous #1 writes: ”One day after getting the greenlight to a 5th season and you spend it writing about washing clothes.”

Answer: Hey, here’s an idea! Why don’t you write up a big, long list of things you’d like me to write about - a sort of a personal wish list covering everything from detailed aspects of the production to, say, aspects of my personal life - and once you’re done that and made sure to proof-read the entire document, print it up, put it in a big bowl, pour milk over it, and enjoy it for breakfast. Bon Appetit.

Anonymous #2 writes: “1. Does this mean we'll get to see Daniel make his way to Atlantis? 2. If the above is true, any chance for Vala to make an appearance?? Please!
3. Is there a possibility that Weir could pop up in the fifth season as well?”

Answers: 1. It means we’ll certainly try to do a story that will guest Daniel in season 5. 2) No plans to bring Vala over. 3) The answer to this can be found in a later season four episode.

Elizabeth writes: “Who is 'the guy in Washington'?”

Answer: Jack O’Neill.

Tracy Trollop writes: “Not written on here for a while, but Bob Picardo told me to get online and write to you! Met him today at Collectormania and we ended up talking about you, his wife's baking and also the dog skeleton he gave you for Hallowe'en last week! I couldn't see any pics on your blog, but would love to see some.”

Answer: Do a search for Bob Picardo and I’m sure the skeleton dog entry will pop up. It includes a video of Lulu facing off against the hound from hell.

Anonymous #3 writes: “Hi Joe, are we going to see Ford in season 5, at least to close out his story line????”

Answer: Not to be a bit of a downer, but some could argue that him getting blown up on the hive ship he was on could be considered closure.

Cyn writes: “Only question I could come up with was when will you announce the BOTM?”

Answer: Monday morning. So far, White Plague leads Doomsday Book while Gunslinger is well ahead of Lord Valentine’s Castle.

Ben writes: “Hey Joe, did you see southpark Parody Stargate? For that matter do you watch southpark?”

Answer: Haven’t seen it yet. We all love South Park.

Redhooks writes: “Can you say if any deleted scenes from Travelers will end up on the DVDs?”

Answer: I don’t believe there are any deleted scenes from this episode.

October 26, 2007

Fondy and I are officially “the worst friends in the world”. True. Our buddies Steve and Jodi offered to take us out for my birthday and we had made plans for Wednesday night but, between the news of the show being pick-up, having both cars serviced, and my damn physical (4:00 p.m. as I write this and still now word from the doctor about my test results), we confused the time and date. I arrived home late and was about to empty the dish washer when Fondy got in. “What do you want to do for dinner?”I asked. “Let’s eat in,”she suggested. Fine. I turned to check the contents of the refrigerator and suddenly froze. Wednesday night! The Budapest! “Uh, aren’t we supposed to be having dinner with Steve and Jodi tonight?” It was a horrible realization, made that much worse by the timing. We were already 30 minutes late. “OhmyGod!”Fondy responded, doing that cute little double-foot-stamp and hand-flutter she does when she’s panicked. “OhmyGod!” GOGOGOGO! We ran to the Q7 and roared off, phoning Steve and Jodi from the car. Not only had they been patiently awaiting our arrival, but they hadn’t even ordered yet. Even worse! Instead of being annoyed, they’d been worried about us! Way to rub it in, guys.

We made it to The Budapest in record time and enjoyed Fondy’s favorite chicken paprikash, the Transylvania Platter for three, and a surprisingly terrific pork paprikash. We capped off our meal with an assortment of Hungarian desserts. We were terrible, but the food was delicious.

A couple of days earlier, we were out with another group - 12 in all - at Rekados to celebrate the albeit-shortlived-return of our friends Errol and Janice to Vancouver. The problem I have about big group dinners like this one is that, inevitably, a food imbalance develops over the course of the meal so that one side of the long table amasses a variety of tasty dishes while the other (the side I’m usually seated at) is left to nurse a bunch of near-empty plates. I do my best to avoid these situations by positioning myself with who I assume will be the lighter eaters (ie. The elderly, the very young, the clearly weight-conscious) and yet, time and again, I find myself hungrily eyeing those crispy pork hocks just out of reach. Sitting in the middle works for smaller parties but in the case of big groups, that just strands me from both selections. I out of ideas and would certainly welcome suggestions.

Well, with Monday fast-approaching, it looks like I’m going to have to come up with some story ideas this weekend. I do have a few ideas…

Today’s pics: Dinners with friends: The infinitely understanding Steve and Jodi, the birthday present they got me, sour cherry and poppyseed strudel (Carl's fave), my favorite Hungarian dessert whose name I can't recall (samloi galouk?) fellow-foodie Ena, chicharon, crispy pata, cheddar-corn ice cream (don't knock it 'til you've tried it)!

Today’s video: None yet again.

Today’s mailbag: Still no mailbag. This must be a record!

October 25, 2007

I honestly would do the laundry more often if it wasn’t so needlessly confusing. It’s never as simple as throwing the clothes in the wash, turning it on, and coming back in an hour. No. You have to actually separate the clothing into three separate piles: darks, whites, and colors. Okay, okay. I’m sure there are many urban legends about the hapless husband who tosses the colors in with the whites and ends up transforming his wife’s favorite dress into a rainbow mutation but, seriously, how likely is that? It’s not like my t-shirts were hand painted. Still, best not to tempt fate and so the clothing is separated into three separate piles. Sort of. What about cream items? Do they go in with the whites or the colors? Where is the dividing line that separates cream-okay-to-go-in-with-the-whites and cream-not-okay-to-go-in-with-the-whites? Is there some rule of thumb that will let me know how creamy is too creamy? And what about the white outfits with the color or black trim? Do they go in with the whites, the colors, or the darks? Let’s face it. Whatever decision I make will be the wrong one, so I set creamies and hybrids aside, along with the pile of whites that may or may not necessitate bleach in their washing process (I’ve heard rumors, but nothing solid), and leave them for Fondy as I concentrate on the darks and colors.

I can’t imagine what kind of problem mixing darks and colors could cause (and will admit to even having tested conventional wisdom by tossing my green Doctor Doom t-shirt in with my dark socks to no obvious ill result), but I nevertheless do stick to the game plan and keep them separate. I start with the darks, cramming them into the washer and then somewhere, in the back of my mind, I seem to recall Fondy advising against this. She may well have cautioned me against packing the washing machine so full I have trouble closing the lid, or it may have just been a fleeting memory from some long-forgotten dream but, just to be on the safe side, I empty the washer of half its contents and decide to run two loads. I then add the blue syrupy gunk. Again, I’m not sure what I’m doing here but my improvised rule of thumb is “trace a trail twice around the clock”. I figure that should be enough to clean the load yet not too much that it would overwhelm me in a sea of pulsating foam like one of those far-less-savvy 1950’s sitcom dads.

Now, all that’s left to be done is twist, pop, and punch the various dials on the washer console that slightly resembles something out of mission control. Let’s see.

Dial on the very left (above the words “Infinite Water Level” which I find cheerfully optimistic) gives me the choice between Mini, Small (seriously, they’re too completely different things), Medium, Large, Super, and Reset. I choose and twist, aligning the arrow with Large.

The next dial to the right gives me the choice between: ATC cold/cold, ATC warm/cold, ATC warm/warm, and hot/cold. Hmmm. This one’s trickier. Well, reverting back to the logic I used during my high school multiple choice exams, I decide that the answer should include ATC since it is in 3 out of my 4 choices. They last choice is never the right one and my high school self tells me to choose Warm/Cold, but I am older and wiser and for no good reason, I turn the dial to ATC cold/cold.

The third dial gives me a whole host of choices: Handwash, Delicate, Sweaters, Perm./Press, Cotton/Colors, and Regular/Whites. Well, I’m not washing this by hand, I’m getting the machine to do it, so I can discount Handwash. And they’re darks so I can discount Regular/Whites. And I don’t wear much silk or chiffon, so I can exclude Delicate. And, really, do I have to commit a whole separate wash to sweaters? I think not. I exclude that choice as well, leaving me with Perm./Press and Cotton/Colors. Well, as anyone will tell you, while white is an absence of all color, black is a merging of all colors (including, yes, teal). So I turn the knob to Cotton/Colors, wondering whether I don’t have it backwards and black is the absence of all colors while white is the merging…only to be distracted by the writing I failed to notice directly beneath my various choices, from Ex. Gentle/Slow beneath Handwash to Normal/Fast beneath Regular/Whites. Ah, the hell with it. I’ve already cast my lot with Cotton/Colors. Medium/Fast it is.

Okay, almost done. Moving eastward, I come upon two buttons. The first, beneath the words Extended Spin, give me a choice between On or Off. Hell, I work on Stargate. Make it spin! On. The next button, beneath the words Extra Rinse, also give me a choice between On or Off. Sure, why not? Extra Rinse it is. On.

Which brings me to the biggest dial of all, a huge silver knob surrounded by a dizzying variety of choices: Soak Only (On or Off), Extra Rinse (which, I must point out, already has its own separate selection dial, but I digress - On or Off), Spin, Rinse (Can you actually choose Extra Rinse without getting Rinse?), Hand wash (Again!), Light, Normal, Heavy, Prewash, Presoak, Quick Wash (On or Off), Extra Rinse (They are really pushing the Extra Rinse option! WTF? On or Off), Spin (!), Rinse (Aw, come on!), Light, Normal, Heavy, Extra Heavy, Prewash, and Presoak. Just above these various choices are the seemingly random interspersed words “REGULAR” “Cotton” and “PERMANENT PRESS”. I choose Heavy - the second Heavy under the words “REGULAR” and wait. Nothing happens. I twist the dial to another selection and wait. Nothing happens. It takes me fifteen minutes to realize this dial requires me to not only twist it, but pull it as well. I pull and the machine rattles to life.

Too late I notice the final two buttons on the very right of the huge silver knob: Chime (Hi, Off, and Lo - which was set on Hi from the last wash) and Finger Faucet which is thankfully set to Off. Seriously, at this point, I don’t even want to know. The washer is humming along, the spin-thing is sloshing around, and something, perhaps the change I forgot to take out of my back pocket, is rattling around quite nicely.

Tomorrow’s blog entry: Mastering the dryer.

Just kidding of course. Tomorrow is the day I believe I’ll be getting those test results back and while I’d like to be upbeat, given the way my visit went on Tuesday I’m more than a little anxious. Seriously, at this point if some above-average cholesterol readings are the worst of it, I’ll be thrilled.

Oh, and I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know I cleaned out the refrigerator today. Another JM rule of thumb when it comes to refrigerated take-home: “If you can’t cast your mind far back enough to remember when you ate it the first time, turf it.”

Also, to all those of you asking, I spoke to both Joe and Jason yesterday. They and their families are doing fine and their houses escaped the wrath of the fires. Many many others were not so fortunate.

Today’s pics: Mission Control in my basement, today's breakfast: all the goodness of low-fat yogurt, protein powder, flaxseed, all-natural peanut butter, steelcut Irish oatmeal, banana, and strawberries in a shake form!

Today’s video: Still none.

Today’s mailbag: Checking…Hmmm. Nope. None today either. Sorry.

October 24, 2007

Huh? We’ve been picked up? Where’d you read this? Are you sure?

Just kidding. I got the call yesterday as I was leaving the doctor’s office (actually, I got the call while I was IN the office and had to step outside to chat). I hurried home and wrote it up as part of my blog entry, then waited for the official press release to come out before posting. Alas, I was informed that the news would only break this morning, so I had to go back and excise the references to the pick-up from my entry, reading, re-reading, and re-reading again to make certain I hadn’t missed an oblique reference that would scoop Variety.

Yep. Great news. But the initial excitement has waned as the reality of coming up with 20 more story ideas has settled in. It really hit home this afternoon when I glanced up at the whiteboard and saw the big, empty space beneath the Season 5 heading and beside the numbers 1 through 20. Marty G. helpfully filled in areas with the following titles: Premiere, Mid-Season Two Parter, and Finale. Awesome! 4 down and 16 to go! I then phoned up Carl and told him his vacation was over. We’d start breaking this Monday and we expected him back in Vancouver and in the office, armed with 5 amazing story ideas (no more than six pages each including all act breaks and major story beats). I, of course, have mine somewhere…

For my part, I celebrated the fifth season pick-up by swinging by the lab for my blood test. I am not a big fan of needles (needles, snakes, heights, kiwis, clowns, paper cuts, curling, long car rides, even longer visual effects meetings, komodo dragons, mullets, musicals, shvests, cruises, flip flops, crunchy pretzels, Turkish candy, overcooked pasta, splinters, toothaches, nightmares where I‘m running and then I wake up but I‘m not really awake and have to keep running, saffron, hospitals, really hot soup, those skinny furry little centipedes I occasionally find in my basement) so I feigned interest in the dated Herman clippings that adorned the far wall as she helped herself. Right around the time she’d filled the fourth tube, I couldn’t help but remark: “Hey, leave some for me.” And that was that. No orange juice. Nary a doughnut. Just an “Apply pressure for two minutes” and I was sent on my way. Now I get to spend (hopefully only) two nerve-wracking days awaiting the results.

I returned home to discover a package awaiting me: a gift basket from Monde Chocolat compliments of my friend Rosemary. Thanks, Rosemary! I’ve got 48 hours before the doctor gives me the results of my blood test, so I’d better start scoffing now!

I’m pleased to see more of you have weighed in on this month’s BOTM selections and I’m hoping more of you continue to do so. And, since some of you have been asking, I’d like to offer up the nominations for next month’s BOTM:

In the fantasy category, it’s -

Stephen King’s Dark Tower Book One (The Gunslinger)
(From Barnes&Noble.com: “This heroic fantasy is set in a world of ominous landscape and macabre menace that is a dark mirror of our own. A spellbinding tale of good versus evil, it features one of Stephen King's most powerful creations - The Gunslinger, a haunting figure who embodies the qualities of a lone hero through the ages, from ancient myth to frontier western legend.”

versus

Roger Silverberg’s Lord Valentine’s Castle
(From Barnes&Noble.com: “Prince Valentine travels the planet Majipoor with a group of eccentric performers. In a quest to discover who Valentine is, his companions help him lay claim to the rewards of birth that await him. But that is only part of his challenge, for he must triumph in the most difficult trial--one that will test his belief, resolve and strength of character.”

In the science fiction category, it’s

Connie Willis’s Doomsday Book
(From Amazon.com: “Connie Willis labored five years on this story of a history student in 2048 who is transported to an English village in the 14th century. The student arrives mistakenly on the eve of the onset of the Black Plague. Her dealings with a family of "contemps" in 1348 and with her historian cohorts lead to complications as the book unfolds into a surprisingly dark, deep conclusion.”

versus

Frank Herbert’s The White Plague
(From Amazon.com: “What if women were an endangered species? It begins in Ireland, but soon spreads throughout the entire world: a virulent new disease expressly designed to target only women. As fully half of the human race dies off at a frightening pace and life on Earth faces extinction, panicked people and governments struggle to cope with the global crisis. Infected areas are quarantined or burned to the ground. The few surviving women are locked away in hidden reserves, while frantic doctors and scientists race to find a cure. Anarchy and violence consume the planet.”)

Start voting. Polls will remain open until midnight Sunday and the winners announced Monday morning.

And finally, before closing this blog entry, I’d like to make mention of longtime blog-reader Maggie who wrote:

“Hi Joe. First of all, I hope all goes well with your blood tests. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, doctors love being cryptic. Anyways, I don't normally do this (normally I've managed to keep this matter somewhat personal), but at this point I don't know what else to do and I know that hundreds (thousands?) of people read this blog.

My mom's been battling with ovarian cancer for close to four years now, and her latest bout of chemo has been pretty terrible and seemingly never ending, only made worse by her negative catscan results. She's made the decision to discontinue her chemo if her catscan results don't show any sign of improving next month. Obviously I'm terrified, but mostly I'm seeking out as many people as I can to just send positive thoughts our way. I figured something with as many readers as your blog would be a good outlet. I'm a firm believer of positive energy, and at this point I'm worried my family's (while strong) is so anxious that our normal positive vibes just aren't enough. If you could give a (small) shout out on our behalf it would mean the world to me.

Thank you so much. -Maggie”

Maggie, sending positive thoughts your way and hoping your mother’s condition improves. I’m sure a lot of your fellow fans are doing the same.

Today’s pics: The white board, my Monde Chocolat gift basket, the long-overdue pic of my post-birthday decorated office door (Alex suspects the HB stands for Hack Bastard. When I find out who’s responsible, they’re in BIG TROUBLE!).

Today’s video: None today.

Today’s mailbag: Taking the day off today. Back tomorrow. Probably.

October 23, 2007

I was at the stove, carefully stirring the pot’s contents into a thick, creamy consistency when Fondy walked in and asked: “You’re not eating oatmeal today because you think it’ll effect the results of your cholesterol test, are you?” “No,”I lied. In fact, the oatmeal was just part of my three-pronged plan: oatmeal, green tea, and dark chocolate. That triple whammy would, I assumed, be enough to help lower those LDL levels. I worked out. Ate. Showered. And then, anxiety mounting, hopped into my car and drove to the doctor’s office for a long overdue physical. By the time I arrived, I could already predict my blood pressure would be through the roof. I could actually hear my heart beating in my ears. After the assistant took my height and weight, I gauged her for any sort of tip. She was expressionless. “5’10, 160 lbs.,”I noted. “In your medical opinion, is that normal?” She shrugged and explained that she usually runs the numbers through her computer to come up with a BMI, but her computer was down today. Then, she ushered me into the doctor’s office where I sat. And waited. And read. And waited some more. Twenty minutes later, the doctor came in and asked me some general questions. Smoke? No. Drink? Rarely. Exercise? Every day. I had to add that my dinner habits tended to the “richer” end of the scale. She took note. And took note of my family history. Then, she checked my hearts. Checked my lungs. Checked my ears, nose, and throat. Checked my blood pressure. All good! Then proceeded to poke and prod. Despite the fact that I’m ticklish, I suppressed the urge to giggle. When it was finally over, she made a note on my lab requisition form I couldn‘t help but notice. Hmmm. “It’s probably nothing to worry about,”she tried to reassure me, “but we’ll know more when we get the blood test back in a few days.” Another hmmmm. Since I have to fast 10 hours before hitting the lab, that means I can get my test tomorrow morning at the earliest - which means I’ll get the results on Friday at the earliest. Damnit! I knew this was a bad idea!

I spent the next half hour madly googling non-existent symptoms and attempting to decipher the shorthand the doctor had scrawled under the “Additional Testing Instructions” portion of the requisition form. I suppose I should be thankful for small comforts. At least there were no checked boxes under the “Genital Specimens” sub-category.

Oh, I thought this was interesting. David Chase finally spoke out about that Sopranos non-ending, finally quashing all those elaborately detailed theories that sought to prove Tony did, in fact, get whacked in the episode’s final seconds. “Lookit all the clues!“they shouted. “The tune that comes on the radio is funeral music!“ “The Soprano meal at Holstein’s is meant to parallel the Last Supper!“ “Meadow’s inability to park represents humanity’s inability to master their fate which must inevitably end in death and not enough change for the parking meter!” Yeah, nice try. In the words of series creator Chase (who, incidentally, wrote and directed the finale so, I suppose he should know):

"There are no esoteric clues in there. No `Da Vinci Code,'" he declares. He says it's "just great" if fans tried to find a deeper meaning, but "most of them, most of us, should have done this kind of thing in high school English class and didn't." (Sopranos' creator defends famous finale By Frazier Moore).

Well, there you go. The interview appears in The Sopranos: The Complete Book which comes out this week.

This blog is dedicated to all of our friends in Southern California who have been displaced by the fires.

Today’s pics: The dogs conked-out after a day at daycare, Tojo’s sushi, Hiro and Dragon, breakfast!

Today’s video: None today. Sorry.

Today’s mailbag:

Charles Schneider writes: “How do you feel about eating fish? Any favorite in particular?”

Answer: I’m all for it. I’m a big fan of skate, sea bass, monkfish, and crispy trout.

Dustin writes: “are you not allowed taking them to work or is it just ezyer if you have to work in the office for a day doing book work writing ext to not have to look after them?”

Answer: Oh, I can take them to work but that would mean I would have to keep an eye on them all day long to make sure they stay out of trouble (chewing things, having “accidents”, making long-distance telephone calls, etc.)

Alipeeps writes: “I guess I like my high fantasy a little less wordy and with a bit more pace. Ironic, perhaps, given that, as a writer, I am terribly wordy!”

Answer: So what would you recommend among the high fantasy titles out there?

Cathain writes: “This has been bothering me, is there a reason why MGM spells Ronon's name as Ronan?”

Answer: Yes. It’s because they are spelling it incorrectly. I prefer Row-none myself.

Jill E. writes: “Was Lulu ok with all those big dogs?”

Answer: Yep. Although she prefers the company of small dogs, her best friend at daycare is a four month old Great Dane puppy.

Anonymous #1 writes: “Tabula Rasa: More humorous, or more serious and angsty?”

Answer: More serious. And perspirey.

Inpa writes: “1. If sci fi do choose to not renew the show, or to renew it how will that decision be made public? Will you mention it on here first or will Sci fi release a statement of some kind?
2. Do you ever consider getting famous actors (as in not just within the genre) more often to see if interest in the show or episode would be boosted?
3. And do you sometimes scroll around different stargate fan sites in order to get a wider perspective of the reception to the episodes or just stick to the one or two?”

Answers: 1. I’d wait for the official SciFi release. 2. We’re always considering atypical scifi guest stars. 3. Since I started this daily blog, I don’t have as much time to check out the different fan sites.

Ditraveler writes: “Glad you liked it! hope Fondy liked it too.”

Answer: As predicted, she loves it. Thanks again.

Arctic Goddess writes: “Would you consider living in the United States if an American series offered you a writing position?”

Answer: Of course.

Tesajb writes: “Speaking of, have you checked your Cookie Monster email lately?”

Answer: I did. He wrote you back but had the email bounce back.

PG15 writes: “The amount of time I've spent with that flocking by my side […] it has not damaged me one bit with its fatal poisonousness or in anyway attempted to kill me…”

Answer: When you least expect it…

Rebecca writes: “So, on to The Legacy of Heorot. It's interesting you mentioned Alien, because my first thought on reading the book was Alien meets Robinson Crusoe. I wonder how much of the book was influenced by that movie, at least as far as the monster goes.”

Answer: I don’t know but that’s a very interesting question. I believe the book came out a year after Aliens was released.

Anonymous #2 writes: “Have you ever tried hot chocolate?”

Answer: I do enjoy chili chocolate.

Cat4444 writes: “I also thought it was interesting that Sheppard would be getting himself pounded into the pavement by the entity, despite it being "him", but I figure it was more the "guilt" than anything and it took McKay's appearance to show him that he's not the one to blame for what happened -- “

Answer: That’s a great interpretation of the scene.

Anonymous #3 writes: “I was just curious if you'd read The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis?”

Answer: I haven’t although it is on my to-read list. I read To Say Nothing of the Dog an I understand that many of the same characters appear in Doomsday which is a decidedly bleaker book.

ZoniDuck writes: “I'm curious Joe, does SGA require a lot of ADR work, or would you say it's pretty average by industry standards?”

Answer: Many shows do significantly more ADR than we do.

Beckett Fan writes: “She 'acts' too young and insecure to have such a high position, IMHO.”

Answer: Keller’s insecurities stem not so much from the position but from the fact that she is the CMO of an off-world expedition.

Stivaria writes: “Who builds the ZedPM and Ancient Personal Shield type props, a group within the studio or an outside contractor…”

Answer: They were built in-house.

Rich S. writes: “Anyways, sorry you didnt enjoy, not every book is for everyone!”

Answer: True enough. I’m pleased you enjoyed it though.

Anonymous #4 writes: “I think the only modern writer of fantasy who does manage to maintain my interest is Clive Barker. His horror is a little too hard core for me but his dark fantasy is often brilliant.”

Answer: I do like his stuff. I remember reading Weaveworld and The Books of Blood ages ago.

Iamza writes: “So, the miraculous lifting of his symptoms, the regeneration of his nerves, the return of his sexual potency, these are things that make Thomas angry because they're indicators that he is losing his battle for sanity.”

Answer: That does explain why he lashes out at the his allies over the course of the adventure but, like you said, I don’t think it excuses his actions - or makes him any more sympathetic.

Archana S. writes: “1) How do you feel about Indian cuisine? 2) How many languages do you speak?”

Answers: 1) Love it. 2) 3 and some.

Firefly827347 writes: “I also wanted to ask if you'd like to stop by your thread on Gateworld once in a while?”

Answer: Awww, you shouldn’t have. I’m blushing.

S.B. writes: “ What do you think about Dumbeldore being gay?”

Answer: Meh.

Wolfen writes: “Hmm, I'm trying to think of fantasy books that stay far enough away from the usual formulae that you might enjoy them…”

Answer: Thanks for all of the recommendations. As for Jim Butcher - I’m not familiar with his work but word from the people who worked with him on Dresen is that he’s a very nice guy.

SciFi Slacker writes: “are we going to be seeing much of major lorne this season?”

Answer: Yep.

Irmo writes: “Do you always take a camera with you when you go out to eat?”

Answer: Yep.

Anonymous #5 writes: “And just because I can't resist please name me five 'child (or young person) genius's that have actually been successful and popular is Sci-fi?”

Answer: Why would whether or not another scifi show has done it before be a good argument for doing it or not doing it on our show?

BoomerGoodHeart writes: “Canneloni is a tube of pasta stuffed with a meat mixture, Manicotti is a tube of pasta stuffed with a cheese mixture.”

Answer: Hmmm. Whenever my mother made cannelloni, it was always a thin, crepe-like covering as opposed to a firmer tubular pasta shell.

Atlantisfannew1 a ecrit: “Je vais vous écrire une autre lettre ce week end. Il serais possible que vous me répondiez et que vous me donnez votre autographe?”

Reponse: Bien sur.

Anonymous #6 writes: “Out of curiosity, now that the show is done with production, will you be taking any time off from the blog? Like a day of rest?”

Answer: No plans to.

WingedPegasus writes: “By the way, is there any chance I could have today's blog dedicated to me? It's my birthday.”

Answer: I advance-dedicate tomorrow’s blog to you.

October 22, 2007

I walked into the office today and found a package awaiting me. I could hardly contain my excitement as I tore through the wrapping, just imagining what awaited insie. Chocolates? Books? Unsolicited story ideas that I would have to hand off to Alex Levine for immediate return? Well, none of the above. Feast your eyes on this awesome painting of my four little terrors lazing about (actually, three little terrors as, I hate to say it, but Bubba didn’t make the cut - that’s Jelly pictured twice on the left - nevertheless, a great job capturing their likeness so well that I AM able to recognize my own pooches). A big thank you to the artist, our very own ditraveler. Fondy is going to love this!

Speaking of the dogs, it was Lulu’s first day at daycare today. I dropped her off with the pugs and peeked into the pen to watch her settle in. The second they opened the gate, she scampered inside and was immediately lost amidst a sea of dogs where she either had time of her life or was immediately consume by the pack. I guess I'll find out later today when I go pick them up.

And speaking of sending - I finally sent Pauline off her 500 000th visitor prize: that sample of sand from the set of The Last Man. Accompanying the sand (which comes in its very own eye-catching test tube) is an Unofficial Certificate of Authenticity for immediate framing. Actually, that's not entirely true. I didn't send it. I had Lawren do it. He was still filling out the special sand custom form when I strolled by him this afternoon. "Value of item,"I overheard him murmur. "One dollar." One dollar! How can you put a price on happiness? Especially after you learn - as I did today - that this sand was re-used from the Ark of Truth set. Wow! Two shows in one. Don't you feel special, Pauline?

And speaking of neither dogs nor mail, I’d like to welcome you all to our second Joe’s Book Club of the Month meeting. This month’s selections: in the fantasy category - Stephen R. Donaldson’s Lord Foul’s Bane, an in the scifi category - Niven, Pournelle, and Barnes’s The Legacy of Heorot. Allow me to weigh in…

Lord Foul’s Bane: I have to be honest with you. Although I read The Lord of the Rings in high school, I’ve generally avoided fantasy literature most of my life because, rather unfairly perhaps, I’ve always imagined its offerings as little more than variations on the same theme. Well, that attitude changed once I read the works of Joe Abercrombie, Scott Lynch, and George R. R. Martin. I discovered that fantasy didn’t have to involve: an unlikely and reluctant hero, a quest to save the land, a band of brave supporting players committed to helping the hero attain his goal, a magical artifact (usually a ring), an evil overlord and his beastly minions.

Now Lord Foul’s Bane is a seminal work of the genre, one that was recommended to me on numerous occasions and one that I finally got around to reading last week. To those of you haven’t read it, it tells the story of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever, an unlikely and reluctant hero, who undertakes a quest to save “the Land”. Accompanied by a band of brave supporting players committed to helping him attain his goal, he is armed with the power of White Gold imbued in the magical artifact he sports (a ring actually). But even that may not be enough to defeat the forces of the evil Lord Foul and his beastly minions.

I don’t doubt Donaldson’s talent as a writer, but I didn’t find this book as significant as some had led me to believe. When I gave Rob Cooper my honest opinion, he admitted that he’d had a tough time getting through the first half, although it picked up for him in the later stages. According to him, the second book in the series is when it really gets good. Another reader shared my initial misgivings, but insisted that things really pick up in the third book of the series. Second or third book of the series?! Talk about infinite patience. If not for the fact that it was a selection in my own book club, I probably wouldn’t have finished this one.

For starters, while I understand that the protagonist, Thomas Covenant, is an anti-hero, I found him a lot more anti than hero. When he first appears in the book’s strange otherworld, he is befriended by a young girl who rescues him and takes him to her village. He repays her kindness by sexually assaulting her. Now I realize that he will presumably seek redemption over the course of the book series but, to be honest, I have a very hard time mustering up much sympathy for a rapist. Call me hopelessly old-fashioned in that respect.

As for the adventure itself, much of the narrative is made up of our anti-hero complaining and feeling sorry for himself, or pages of backstory on the Land that we learn second-hand from its denizens who punctuate the travelogue by breaking into song now and again. It was tough going.

In retrospect and given how many people loved it, maybe I’m just the wrong audience for this book.

The Legacy of Heorot: Shades of Aliens! The members of a self-sufficient colony are threatened by a fearsome resident of their new homeworld. But in dealing with the problem, they unwittingly create a much bigger threat.

Legacy turns out to be a fairly quick read, occasionally bogged down, I thought, by the creature POV segments. While I didn’t find the relationships between the various characters all that engaging (and someone has already noted the fact that the female characters were a bit thin), I did find the development of the battle between colonists and grendels very interesting. In particular, I liked the way in which a study of the creatures’ biology offered up the means by which to defeat them. I also liked the late twist - the realization that the colonists have actually exacerbated the problem by screwing with the new world’s eco-system, setting up the novel’s climactic showdown.

Granted, as far as science fiction goes, Legacy of Heorot is more popcorn fare than most - but nevertheless, a fun read.

Today’s pics: ditraveler's doggy masterpiece, The Last Man sand and accompanying unofficial certificate of authenticity, Hey! Check out Marty G.'s Stargate SG-1 The Complete Series boxset (with new and improved gate symbols!).

Today’s video: Click on the link to see Lulu’s first day at daycare.

Today’s mailbag:

Amz writes: “I'm wondering, what's been happening in the World of Joe's Psedonymous Email Persona's? Anything of note?”

Answer: Things have been unusually quiet on that front of late. I’ll have to check in with Hazzencockle, Baron Destructo, and Cookie Monster.

Charles Schneider writes: “ What's your favorite cut of red meat/beef? How do you like it prepared?”

Answer: Rib-eye. Medium-rare.

Zabadoo writes: “So, four great episodes in a row and counting, are you surprised of the positive fan reaction to them or were you expecting it?”

Answer: I never know what to expect. I will say that I thought the first four were strong episodes, and feel the same about this week’s episode: Travelers.

Emily writes: “Have you ever eaten bone marrow?”

Answer: Yep. A local restaurant, Le Crocodile, does a terrific roasted bone marrow.

Vikitty writes: “…have you checked out the West Coast Chocolate Festival yet?”

Answer: I didn’t. As much as I enjoy chocolate, I didn’t feel like taking the drive to Coquitlam. Did you go?

ARF writes: “I think it sounds like a poor defense/excuse for unoriginality.”

Answer: I see it as an evolution of a concept created for the show - like the goa’uld, the wraith, or any other elements that have been revisited and developed over time.

Bekki writes: “What do the Stargate Atlantis crew do with all their trash?”

Answer: It is beamed onto hive ships. That’s why the wraith hate us so much.

Anonymous #1 writes: “In Progeny, Niam wanted to ascend. So, is it possible for machine like him reach ascension?”

Answering: Interesting question.

Anonymous #2 writes: “I just wanted to ask if the enormously awkward chitchat Keller had with Carter after she announced Heightmeyer's death was an emergency medical situation?”

Answer: Yeah, I told Robert to run any use of the Keller character by you first, but he evidently forgot to do so. I’ll have to have a talk with him.

Anonymous #3 writes: “Just what does Keller bring to SGA that Beckett could not?”

My Name is Scott answered: “HOW MANY times to people have to be told that Weir and Carson were NOT gotten rid of FOR Carter and Keller. The decision to bring Carter and Keller was made AFTER the decision to rid Weir and Carson... why is this hard to get?? Wow!”

Anonymous #4 writes: “This is not an attack on jewel Staite, casting her as a junior doctor or a junior scientist or junior archaeologist may have worked but this is frankly ridiculous.”

Answer: So, you buy the near-instantaneous travel through a wormhole? You buy the life-sucking aliens? But you have a hard time accepting the possibility of a young virtuoso?

Kdvb1 writes: “If we want to send something to one of the main actors, would it still get to them if we send it to the studios?”

Answer: Sure. Send it to: Stargate Atlantis - 2400 Boundary Road, Burnaby, B.C., V5M 3Z3.

Anonymous #5 writes: “what are the best and worst aspects of working in the Sci-fi industry?”

Answer: Best - You can be as imaginative as you want to be when coming up with new worlds, races, and situations. Worst - As a genre, it is afforded little respect from the general public.

October 21, 2007

Well, having Robert Cooper swing by to do a guest Q&A was evidently as much a treat for you as it was for me - for you because it was a nice change of pace from my usual yammering, and for me because it gave me a much-needed break from my usual yammering. And so a big thanks to Rob for taking time out of his busy weekend to come hang out. Rob, should you ever feel in an answery mood, we’d love to have you back.

While you were all basking in Cooperly goodness last night, I was back at Fuel with Fondy for the last night of Whole Hog Dinner 2007. Tom showed us to our table and informed me that while Fondy would be doing the menu I’d enjoyed on my previous visit with Marty G. and Kurt, I would be doing something a little different. Since I had already enjoyed the original Whole Hog Dinner, Chef Belcham had created an alternate menu just for me!

Feeling all extra special and such, I settled back and waited to be pleasantly surprised. And I was. In a big way. We started things off with the excellent charcuterie plate (home made chorizo sausage, pork rillettes, pork terrine, and pickled ramps), and then followed with the first course: the stuffed pig ear in green sauce with pig tail consomme for her, and an astounding shaved pig ear, beat, and black truffle creation for me. I say astounding but, really, mere words cannot do justice to the sublimity of this dish that delivered on all levels - scent, texture, and taste. Fondy enjoyed her first course, the accompanying green sauce in particular, a wonderful composition of collard greens, parsley, tarragon, chives, and red wine vinegar. For our second courses, Fondy had the crispy brain with parsley root served on a bed of Dungeness crab mayonnaise, while I was served perhaps the greatest pork belly dish I’ve ever eaten - braised and smoked, the well-marbled piece of meet was firm to my fork but melted in mouth. Fondy grew up eating brain (her mother used to make it in soup), and while she liked the dish, like me she was not a fan of the dish’s metallic undertone (according to Fondy, a little lemon juice neutralizes the stronger flavor). Our third course was an addition to the menu: the carbonara ravioli that I so thoroughly enjoyed on my first visit - and enjoyed just as much on my second. The sweetness of caramelized bacon interior married to an intense black pepper heat makes this one a dish I really hope to see on the regular menu some day. Four our fourth courses, Fondy had the braised crown bacon, which turned out to her favorite dish of the night, while I was surprised with a perfectly-prepared piece of pork shoulder served atop a brain risotto. You heard right. Brain risotto. I was admittedly skeptical but, have to say, this is a dish I would order again without hesitation. No metallic undertone here. Just an understated creaminess accented by the chives. By the time course number five came our way, this one yet another addition, we were close to tapping out. Still, we did manage to sample most of our seared foie gras served on a bacon brioche with coronation grapes. A very rich dish that, at this point in the evening, was a little foreboding. Still, a good piece of foie and a surprisingly nice coronation grape accompaniment, although we both found the broiche too unctuous. For her sixth course, Fondy had the roasted saddle served on a bed of fennel but, unlike the dish I was served on my last visit, sans boudin. Not a big deal as she was so stuffed that she couldn’t have eaten it anyway. But she did try and like the saddle. I helped out by finishing it and my own delectable pork sous-vide with home made coppa ham. Unfortunately, we had to cut out before dessert was served but, rather than allow us to go without, Tom had our desserts packed so that we could enjoy them later that night. Fondy LOVED her Birch syrup pie with candied bacon, while (no surprise here) I LOVED my super dark chocolate terrine.

Another exceptional meal at Fuel and a big thank you to Tom, Chef Belcham, and the rest of the gang for making my dinner extra special. Brain risotto! Who’d have thunk?!

Today’s pics: Whole Hog Dinner 2007 - Round Two

Today’s video: None.

Today’s mailbag: the half-dozen or so questions that weren’t addressed to Robert Cooper…

Irulan writes: “You said something last month about no romance outside of McKay/Brown. Care to take that back?”

Answer: Nope.

Elizabeth writes: “ 1) Have you ever eaten kishka? If you have, did you like it? 2) Who is your favorite Star Wars character?”

Answers: 1) I have. 2) I did. 3) Han Solo.

Teyilia writes: “I take it you don't want me to write the story then?”

Answer: By all means, write away, but I can’t offer creative input.

Kurt writes: “ Is it true that "Flightless Dove", "Bridge to Forever" and "Mr. Poopy Pants" are episode titles for the upcoming season?”

Answer: No, but I’ve followed up on the suggestion of a recent dinner companion and will be changing the title of our season finale, The Last Man, to A Very Wraithy Summer.

Ademaro writes: “How lovely, I'm glad you have brought some of the Hungarian culture into your life.”

Answer: I had no choice. Both Martin Gero and Ivon Bartok have Hungarian blood in ’em. In Ivon’s case, it is partially diluted with Jack Daniels.

Anonymous #1 writes: “would you mind answering some questions about Reunion that have been brought up by fans and a t.v. reviewer in North Carolina.
1.Why don't the Atlantis writers move the series along in each episode?
2.Instead of starting at the beginning of the village scene, why don't you start in the middle. You know, cut to the chase?
3. How is the audience supposed to know that several weeks have passed since Lifeline?
4. Even though Ronon made the decision to go with the Satedans, the decisioned was nulled by them being traitors. Your response to this?
5. Why bother with a second jumper when the first jumper is cloaked?
6. Doesn't Carter going off-world make Sheppard redundant?
7. Why is Sheppard so stupid that he releases the replicator?
8. What do you say to people who say this was a mined-out premise?”

Answers: 1. We always try to offer a mix of arc-driven and stand-alone episodes although, in the case of season four, we definitely will be seeing more of the former. As for the complaint that there is nothing in Reunion that “moves the series along” - Carter’s assuming command of the Atlantis expedition, the episode’s B story, is a huge development that has ramifications for the series as a whole. 2. You mean why not cut into the middle of a scene and start from there? More often than not, that’s exactly what I do, but I also like to offer up these smaller moments as it’s the small moments that go a long way toward developing our characters and their relationships with one another. 3. It’s never spelled out but is strongly suggested in Sheppard-Carter scene when Sheppard refers to the I.O.A. stonewalling his attempts to mount a rescue op for Elizabeth. 4. At the end of the day, the audience knows he will not be leaving Atlantis. No surprise there. What’s surprising is that he does make a choice - and it’s not the one we expected. 5. The wraith are expecting a rescue mission so, even if Carter and co. are cloaked going in, their entry to the facility will be no less easy. However, by having the second jumper do the fly by, it not only leads the perimeter defenses away form the facilities, but lulls the interior defenses, allowing our team to take them by surprise. 6. No. Carter’s military and science background will allow her to contribute in many areas, but off-world ops and science & technology still remain Sheppard and McKay’s areas of expertise. 7. He doesn’t. When Carter leads the team in, Zelenka zeroes in on a power conduit that is immediately targeted. Once this is done, the power to the whole facility ebbs (thus the dimming lights and the flickering force shield surrounding the replicator), weakening the force shield and, ultimately, allowing the replicator to escape. 8. One could argue that scifi in general is mined-out. Yet another time travel story. Or another AU story. Or another alien invasion story. The key is finding what makes this particular story special for your characters. Take Window of Opportunity for example. One could argue that it was a mined-out story and yet, it turned out to be a fan favorite. 9. A t.v. reviewer in North Carolina?

Anonymous #2 writes: “The reason the whole Ronon/Keller romance is turning stomachs is because right out of the gate they seem to be shoved together…”

Answer: True. Adrift, Lifeline, Reunion, and Doppelganger have been veritable Ronon/Keller lovefests.

Twolly writes: “ Will the outtake you described (Joe F. taken by surprise), be on the S4 DVD's?”

Answer: Maybe.

Anonymous #3 writes: “What's with the weak writing and shoving Keller into every single situation?”

Answer: Yeah, what’s with shoving the Chief Medical Officer into every situation that deals with a medical emergency? Can’t Zelenka do that?

Crazymom writes: “Who played the clown?”

Answer: The individual playing the clown was none other than………………………………............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................an actor we hired! Surprised?

Aurora writes: “My name is Aurora and I have been reading this blog for a number of months and have loved every minute but I had a sad occurrence today I wanted to share.”

Answer: Hi, Aurora. I’m sure I speak for everyone here in passing along condolences and hoping the best for you and your loved ones during this difficult time.