December 18, 2007

“I love the dogs,”my mother admitted as we drove up Burrard Street, “but grandchildren are better.” I seriously doubted it but still felt the need to point out the two didn’t have to be mutually exclusive. Hell, to be honest, there are times when I think it WOULD be nice to have a kid around the house - you know, to keep the dogs company and run sundry errands. “It wouldn’t be for me,”she insisted “but for yourself.” After all, my mother reasoned, who would take care of me in my old age? Well, the obvious answer would be Fondy (that was the whole point of marrying someone nine years my junior) or one of those sexy private nurses like in the movies. But what if these aren’t realistic options? What if Fondy joins the space program and ends up like the main character in Joe Haldeman’s Forever Peace, traveling on an FTL ship that keeps her young while I age back here on Earth (you may think this improbable but I should point out that Fondy has expressed interest in space travel in the past), or my sexy private nurse fund disappears when my investment in New Spicy 7-Up goes belly up. It would be nice to depend on my friends but I have a feeling they could be in worse shape than me down the line. So, what am I to do when the time comes? Well, that’s where all of you come in.

A simple check of WordPress’s blog stats reveals that this blog had 6 398 views yesterday. The way I see it, that’s a lot of potential TLC waiting to be tapped. Now, I don’t want any of you feeling indebted to me just because you derive countless hours of enjoyment from this blog every day (I’m assuming you’re all very slow readers). If you’d rather not help me put on my unwieldy oversized cufflinks or cut my beef tournedos into manageable bite-sized pieces when the time comes, then that’s fine (you ungrateful ingrates). I don’t need all 6 398 of you to scoop up the dog crap from my backyard, vacuum my house, or clean out my fridge - although it would certainly go a lot quicker. I could make due with less than three hundred of you. But not that much less.

Speaking of this site’s blog stats, among the interesting little tidbits it offers up is a list of incoming links, sites which have posted links to my blog. One was the intriguingly-titled: “Baron Destructo & Me” -

( http://www.joeabercrombie.com/2007/12/baron-destructo-me.html)

- which, it turns out, is the latest entry over at Joe Abercrombie’s blog. Those of you who read my December 15th entry here at Wordpress know that I am in the process of reading an advance copy of Last Argument of Kings, the final book in Joe’s First Law trilogy. If you enjoy fantasy with a wicked sense of humor (say along the lines of George R. R. Martin‘s Song of Ice and Fire series or Scott Lynch‘s Lies of Locke Lamorra), do check them out.

Hey, lookit what arrived by FedEx today. First, a gift from Sci-Fi: a gorgeous special edition die-cast metal and polished chrome all lever corkscrew in a leather case. The card they sent contained the message: “Plant this card in the ground. All it needs to grow is sunlight, water, and imagination.” This should be very interesting as all of the holiday cards I’ve buried in my backyard to date have produced little in the way of anything significant. The second package was a gift from MGM: a Cinema Greats collection containing 12 Angry Men, A Bridge Too Far, Judgment at Nuremburg, Paths of Glory AND two movie tickets to Lions for Lambs (which I’ll also be burying in my backyard to see what springs up).

Last night, we took my mother to Tojo’s for high-end sushi. Check out the pics of mom digging the shrimp and lobster out of the hand cone with a fork on her way to discarding the nori (to a passing waiter‘s horror). She spent today cooking. Hmmm. I think I’ll invite Tojo over for dinner so that he can fish the pasta out of her tomato sauce with a pair of chopsticks.

Well, I spoke to soon. I thought the blogger problem had been fixed. I logged in, posted, checked to make certain the entry had published - then noticed my entire archive had disappeared. I logged out, logged back in again and discovered the archive had returned - but my new entries were gone. I logged out and logged back in again - found the new entries, but the archives were missing. Well, after a closer look, I realized that blogger had solved “my problem” by creating an alternate site for me (jmallozzi.blogspot.com). So, now I have josephmallozzi.blogspot.com that contains my archives but won’t allow me to post, jmallozzi.blogspot.com which allows me to post but doesn’t contain my archive, and josephmallozzi.wordpress.com. Well, the votes are in and, so far, Wordpress leads Blogger by 22-10. I’m thinking what I’ll do is make Wordpress my principal blog spot and use blogspot to back up my posts, so if you prefer to read here, then read here. If you prefer to read on blogspot (and view pics on blogspot) then read and view over there (whenever I do back up). But whichever you choose, please only comment here on Wordpress as these are the comments I’ll be responding to in future entries.

Let’s hit the mailbag -

Susan the Tartan Turtle writes: “Had you not told her about your new ‘daughter’ Lulu?”

Answer: I hadn’t told her because I wanted to see her reaction. Yep, she was surprised, not only by Lulu herself but the size of her head.

Elizabeth writes: “What Isaac Asimov books would you suggest (I haven’t read very much sci-fi yet)?”

Answer: I’d suggest starting with his Robot series. Try I, Robot.

A. Loquita writes: “How do you feel about pizza?”

Answer: Hey, I’m Italian so I’m all for pizza. However, I consider thin crust an abomination.

Morgia a ecrit: “Quelle langue vous parlez entre vous dans ta famille ?”

Reponse: Anglais.

Annie from Freemantle writes: “ If there were any Aussie foodstuffs you want and can’t get in Vancouver, what would they be?”

Answer: I’m not familiar with uniquely Australian foodstuffs (with the exception of TimTams and, to be honest, I’m TimTammed out).

Jedi writes: “A group of us mailed you a card congratulating you all on S5, we were wondering if you received it yet?”

Answer: I believe Paul opened it today as he was in the office approving VFX shots for Last Man. Thanks.

RebeccaH writes: “When we see the return of Carson in The Kindred…”

Answer: Carson is coming back in The Kindred? Really?

Poundpuppy29 writes: “Are you still watching Friday Nights Lights? If Yes what do you think of the season soo far?”

Answer: I love the show but wasn’t crazy about this season’s murder sub-plot.

Grapesofwraith writes: “No corn soup for either of you at Fuel?”

Answer: Their menu is high seasonal. And I cleaned them out of the corn soup within a week.

Kdvb1 writes: “Do you charge for photos with the fans?”

Answer: To be honest, the few times I’ve attended conventions where I have posed for fan photos, I’ve felt odd charging. On the other hand, I understand that it’s one of the ways the convention organizers off-set the costs of staging such events. So, at the last con I guested at, I did not charge for my autographs and donated my portion of the photo fee to the con.

Knightie writes: “Then what happens to the Asuran ship left on the planet?”

Answer: The Asurans reclaimed it.

Ronnie writes: “My husband is a Major stationed in Iraq currently […] Anyway, he really likes Sam (who wouldn’t?) and wanted to know if on Atlantis you guys had said whether she got together with Jack.”

Answer: We have yet to say. Wish your husband all the best for a safe holiday and new year.

42zine writes: “How is Fondy’s shop doing by the way?”

Answer: Business has been very good.

Iamza writes: I finally got finished with Alas Babylon […]. This novel has a much more positive view of humanity than most post-apocalyptic novels espouse.”

Answer: It does. And, I agree. While it is dated in many respects, it offered an interesting insight into that 1950’s mindset.

Shirt ‘n Tie writes: “(1) Will your mother be cooking while staying? If so, what dishes?
(2) Having watched Mortal Coil only once, I am open to correction, but was Rodney wearing the “old” uniform at the very end of the ep.”

Answers: 1) Yes. I believe she’s making orechietti tonight. 2) It should have been the new uniform.

WannaBe writes: “ Gosh I hope you were just commenting on an overly bright bit of cover art or something, and not dissing an entire genre!”

Answer: I was referring to the cover art. As someone who works in scifi, a genre that rarely gets much mainstream respect, I am the last person who would diss another genre. So, you’re published? Anything my mom might enjoy?

Achildslife writes: “I haven’t read back in your blogs (I understand you moved over from Blogger?), but do you enjoy King Mackrel or Grouper?”

Answer: Love both.

Emily writes: “Speaking of books and Philip K. Dick, which of his books have you lined up for holiday reading?”

Answer: Ubik.

Camilla Todd writes: “Have you watched his earlier films, like The Drunken Master?”

Answer: I have watched The Drunken Master. And I thought The Drunken Master II was great as well.

Enzo Aquarius writes: “If travelling to Vancouver-area, do you have any hotel or restaurant ‘must-haves’?”

Answer: The Hotel Vancouver is nice and well-located. Restaurants: Fuel, Vij’s, Don Francesco, Cin Cin, Yuji’s, Tojo’s, West, Lumiere, Feenies, Sun Sui Wah, Sea Harbour Seafood Restaurant to name a few.

Cf100 writes: “I did want to ask, are you planning on catching the Sugar Bowl over New Years? Hawaii (12-0) against Georgia?”

Answer: Oh, I’ll definitely be watching.

jenner8675309 writes: “So you a Jackie fan, or a fan of martial arts movies in general? Do you have a preference, say Chan or Lee?”

Answer: Martial arts movies in general. Chan, Lee, and Li. And, like you, I’m a huge Steven Chow fan. Love On Delivery is one of my favorite comedies.