Of all of my alternate yahoo accounts, AgentWexler@yahoo.com is the one that gets the least amount of activity, virtually ignored by spammers who, for reasons known only to them, have chosen not to solicit a presumed FBI agent in their scamly endeavors. My Melvinskidnappers@yahoo.com account, on the other hand, is seeing the heaviest traffic of all, averaging a good 10-20 “business proposals” a day. Why a group of kidnappers is considered a better mark than, say, a nefarious super villain (BaronDestructo@yahoo.com), an angling philanthropist (Hazzencockle@yahoo.com), a loquacious shut-in in desperate need of companionship (Lintmuffin@yahoo.com), a humorless senior (MargaretQuibble@yahoo.com), or a denizen of one of America’s best-loved neighborhoods (Coooooookiemonster@yahoo.com) is beyond me, but given the number of emails piling up, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to them en masse and clear my inbox. Today, all received the following:
“Thank you for your interest in obtaining our services with regard to the business proposal outlined in your latest email. We would love to enter into partnership with you but, to do so, we require a little information -
Your Name:
Your Location:
Your Net Worth:
The Best Time For You To Be Kidnapped:
Suggested Ransom Expected:
And Finally - “What makes you someone we would want to kidnap?” (in 250 words or less):
Rest assured that this information will not be shared with any third party interests such as big box stores, financial institutions, religious organizations, or needy relatives and is for the exclusive use of Melvinskdinappers, their underworld associates, a handful of internet dating services, and Runners World Magazine. Should you prove a viable candidate, you will be informed of our decision enroute to our hideout (although the blackjack to the head will probably be a dead giveaway).
Finally, please understand that as much as we would love to kidnap you all, time and limited resources necessitate our putting your through this rather rigorous selection process. If you do not hear back from us within the month, assume that we have decided to pass on your application and moved on. But do not be discouraged as our timetable and needs are ever-shifting and today’s too-lame-to-bother-with hopeful is tomorrow’s promising bruised and earless candidate.
Sincerely,
Mr. Kidnapper :)”
No mailbag today as I’m taking the night off to clean out the refrigerator, do the dishes, throw out the garbage, organize the recycling, check the mail, and turn in early so that I can finish The Doomsday Book. I’ll return with the mailbag tomorrow-ish. To tide you over -
Today’s video: Click on the date for a very short clip from the Harmony shoot that I wasn’t going to bother posting but, after further consideration, figured some of you might find it of interest.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
46 comments:
What? No Joe F. crooning or an answer to his question? Six freakin' seconds? Two chords?
Awe, come on...just a little more like a couple of minutes worth...maybe Joe F. explaining to the fangirls and fanboys that he won't take off his shirt because he's concerned for their health.
Just a quick question today. How are the ratings doing on the reruns of SGA that Sci-Fi is showing in the hour before the airing of the newest episode?
Awwww, come on! You are the biggest tease. You know that clip was WAY too short. You barely whet my appetite with that one. You have to have more of it. And please bother with any clips you have of any of the actors...we love seeing them. But, please...more time than just a short teaser. :~(
Kimberly
Are there any foods to which you're allergic?
hé! C'est le délire ce soir, j'ai l'impression de revivre des moments du Cegep en lisant ton blog et avec ta mini capsule video: beaucoup de bruit pour rien, ou beaucoup trop de fumée...
lol
Bonne soirée!
Oh... you are such a tease, Joe. Leaving us salivating like that on the excrutiating short video on the hot man. But thank you.
Seeing that Sheppard is a pilot, what is his call sign?
Tabula Rasa reminds me of Dori in Nemo. :-)
When I heard that Weir was going to be written out, I swore I would not watch S4 but so far I am enjoying the show. But I still miss Weir though...
Hi Joe!
No complaints from me about the vid! I'll just replay and replay and replay the video til it becomes a full-fledged song! Joe's so dreamy...you decide who I'm talking about. Thanks! :)
Not sure if I should send this to Cookie Monster's e-mail or post it here, but since he's busy cleaning his inbox (and his earholes?), here goes:
Does Cookie Monster have an opinion, good or bad, about people using the slang term "Cookie Monster Metal" for certain kinds of black or death metal? The bands whose lead singer is singing so harshly and the vocal mix is so distorted, it sounds like the Big Blue CM with a sore throat and Oscar the Grouch lodged halfway down CM's esophagus?
Have a great night!
eddy
Great surprise video clip! Have you made any mid-day song requests of him during the periodic breaks for setups or lunch?
Hey Joe I watched a clip from a preview where Ronon and Teal'c are trying to tears each other heads off, while a courages Sam trying to break it off while the mens, uh I mean boys just stand in the background doing nothing, what episode is this from?
ohhhhh, that is just cruel and unusual punishment...fangirl torture has been banned by the United Nations, you know...
You're getting off on this, aren't you Joe?
I'm really, really excited for The Seer!
Anyway, a friend who I recently introduced to Stargate made an interesting point:
"The ads I've seen for Stargate where so bad that I thought it must be a really bad show, so I've never bothered watching it."
I've got to say, a few of them have really made me cringe. What are your thoughts?
Sorry, this is a question for atlantisfannew1 regarding:
Une amie vient de me faire une magnifique video sur vous!!!!
Elle est super!!
http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=jvo6nwXASjU
Pardonnez mon Français. Qui est l'artiste et la musique? J'aime la chanson.
Anyway, still loving the season so far. Just wish I didn't have to wait until Mondays to see the episodes. Bring on the rest of Season 4!!!
A measly six seconds? You evil, evil man. ^_~
I second michellek's question about Sheppard's call sign, and I too miss Weir. I hope we'll see her again in Season 5, she's too good a character to simply abandon.
Hehehe.. Is this the last minute clean-up effort before the wife comes home from her trip?
I often find my husband does this and he likes to re-iterate that he "cleaned the house just for you" before I got home.
Translation: I cleaned up my giant man mess of books, socks, magazines, and dirty dishes to avoid your grumpy, jet-lagged, nit-picking wrath. =)
I thought of another thing. I'm hoping that you're running out of Greek names for the 304's.
What about Columbia?
I think it would be a fitting tribute. Especially since Columbia starred on SG-1 once. (S2 "In The Serpent's Lair." When it rescued SG-1 from broken Gliders stranded in orbit.)
Also, it was the name of the Apollo 11 Command Module, so the name has a lot of space history attached to it.
Hiya Joe... I've had this question on my mind since reading the post weeks (months?) ago. You mentioned that after writing a novel, you realized that you were more of a screenwriter than a novelist. What made you think that exactly?
You're teasing us with those six precious seconds of Joe F. being adorable!
You are a cruel, cruel man. And I bet you knew posting that snippet of a video clip would garner such comments, eh?
- Kimberly
You're evil! EVIL! Why else would you show us possibly the shortest clip of Joe Flanigan that ever existed. Oh well, as short as it was... I still got a buzz from it.
Does the SciFi channel make the commercials for Stargate Atlantis? Or do you have creative control over them?
The "Running of the Dogs" clip: Which dog was it that took the shortcut through the room? Smart dog.
Tis good to see a man in touch with all his other personalities.
Well, we did see them in Reunion...and travelers, must not forget the travelers. GO BAMSR!
Would you be offended if i had Moe Jacuzzi on my school leavers shirt?
IF you are do you have any kool stargate names or one liners that would work on the back of my leavers shirt.(ie J.M. is awesome
No mailbag today as I’m taking the night off to clean out the refrigerator, do the dishes, throw out the garbage, organize the recycling, check the mail, and turn in early so that I can finish The Doomsday Book. I’ll return with the mailbag tomorrow-ish
Which translates into SWMBO returns tomorrow?
ATLANTIS SEASON 6 HELL YEAH!
more joe F! tease! as for missing, wooohooo, keller. don't you wish everyone allergic to her would just stop nagging you? seriously people. she's hired.
as for a stargate con in aus. please, pretty please? i'll introduce you to koko black. you won't regret it.
I was just short enough, no more please!
Question: Will we see any more cool little alien animals, for example the atlantian version of a mouse in the canteen of atlantis, in future episodes?
A quick question...in Tabula Rasa just after Ronan stuns Sheppard he comments "Never gets old." What's the impetus behind that comment? Ronan likes to stun his "buddy?"Or ronan just likes to stun people in general?
Be sure to wear protective gear when cleaning out the refrig...wouldn't want you to need antibiotics again so soon!
Salut Joseph =)
Merci pour cette video!!Waaou c'est imprésionant le nombre d'adresse Email que vous avez!!
Sayer! C'est enfin le week enf pour moi^^!
Bon gros kisou, je pense que je repaserais ce soir =)
IIII LLOOVVEE YYOOUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bonne journée =)
I found this, and I think is something you would fine amusing.
It's about a guy been ban from Kmart It's pretty funny.
http://m3.picsdown.com/piles/?s=kmartban
hello joe!!!!!!!!!!!!
its my birthday today!!!!...any suggestions for a cake??????
A link for you, Joe. Check out this verrrrry persistent pug.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Nm8_HRelHcQ
Will hidden truths and subterfuge drive a wedge between Atlantis' team members?
Argh. The video won't play for me! *kicks work computer*
Hope you enjoyed doing all that housework.. you're becoming positively domesticated!
Hi Joe. I've been thinking of something to post that you won't oppose and deny and I finally found something. I'm gonna say, Season 4 ROCKS so far and I can't wait to see the rest of it. I'm also looking forward to seeing the sets when I come to con in Vancouver next April. How'd I do?
Rachel ;-)
I'm looking forward to the "Seer". I've got to laugh at that video clip..."how much he spend on her?" WAHH? leave us hanging. Maybe there is more. Take care Joe. I'd love to see some new baddies making there way into the mix. Wraith really seem to be on the outs, or are they?
Well from that 6 second clip I can tell you one thing for a fact... Joe Flanigan is already better at guitar than I am! :D
I can play 4 chords - D, A, G and E (which is actually sufficient to play Wild Thing by The Troggs or I Used to Love Her by Guns 'n' Roses) - but I can only play them very slowly. As in..
chord
*I used to love her....*
Hang on, hang on a minute... chord
*But I had to kill her..*
Okay, one second... chord
*I used to love her...*
Et cetera. It's bad. Painfully bad. :)
hey Mr. M!
is it possible that you could ship mr. Flanigan (*snort* makes him sound like a dvd! LOL!) over to england so he can give me some, ahem...guitar lessons?!
i'm guessing that by "some of you" you meant the sheppard fans? :) well, it made me happy. thanks joe.
"Lt.Col.Errandboy said...
ohhhhh, that is just cruel and unusual punishment...fangirl torture has been banned by the United Nations, you know...
You're getting off on this, aren't you Joe?"
haha :P
Why did you choose the name Wexler?
I confess to a strong and irrational aversion to it because of someone I knew with that name. Once, this person went storming by me, coat flapping and everything, and I had to fight the urge to hide under my desk. That was one scary dude.
Hey, c'est pas que je veux peter ta baloune mais d'habitude les mailboxs des spammers ne sont pas surveillées donc tu as probablement perdu ton temps à écrire ça :s Anyway, si un d'eux te répond, ça serait cool que tu nous laisses savoir :P
Frank
Thanks for sharing the clip of Joe Flan strumming his guitar....now you make me wish it had been longer!!
But then again I think you did that on purpose!
I'm not quite sure whether or not I should respond to such an arrangement!
On a more serious note, however, does Stargate Productions cater for placements during a relative university degree? I know I'm doing videogames instead of tv, but the production-principles are very similar...
Joe-
I'm surprised people aren't commenting "FIRST!" like they do on perezhilton.com (yeah, I read his site) since your prize for poster 750k was announced.
I'm also going to shamfully ask for a blog dedication. I snapped my ankle today, I'm out of commission for awhile. Tripped over my cat coming down my stairs. Almost broke my neck (I'm sure you can relate). Luckily, my kitty is fine. Its just me that a gimp.
Joe as you spin stories for season 5, are you doing them with the idea that carter will be back as commander of atlantis?
Hi, Joe.
"The Seer" was excellent. Season Four is rocking and rolling!
I know Canada has already had their Thanksgiving Day, but I'll think of ya'll while we celebrate ours Thursday.
Hmmm...potato souffle. Yummers.
Morjana
Hi Joe
I know this is waaaay late to be posting this comment but I had to. Thank you so much for cheering me up today. I have spent the last 3 days,in bed, sick and very down. I decided to swing over and catch up with my fave blog and Squeeeeeee video of Joe F! Thank you again.
Huggles to you and the pups.
Wendy
John Sheppard is my happy place
".........Your Name:
Your Location:
Your Net Worth:
The Best Time For You To Be Kidnapped:
Suggested Ransom Expected:
And Finally - “What makes you someone we would want to kidnap?” (in 250 words or less):
Rest assured that this information will not be shared with any third party interests such as big box stores, financial institutions, religious organizations, or needy relatives and is for the exclusive use of Melvinskdinappers, their underworld associates, a handful of internet dating services, and Runners World Magazine. Should you prove a viable candidate, you will be informed of our decision enroute to our hideout (although the blackjack to the head will probably be a dead giveaway).
Finally, please understand that as much as we would love to kidnap you all, time and limited resources necessitate our putting your through this rather rigorous selection process. If you do not hear back from us within the month, assume that we have decided to pass on your application and moved on. But do not be discouraged as our timetable and needs are ever-shifting and today’s too-lame-to-bother-with hopeful is tomorrow’s promising bruised and earless candidate......"
That sounds a lot like my scholarship application form. Uh oh, now I'm a bit worried *looks over shoulder nervously*.
Post a Comment